Beyond the Horizon
by SatinCoveredSteel
Summary: EPOV of the last part of New Moon, starting at the clock tower and continuing all the way through the epilogue.
1. Chapter 1: Finis

**Author's Note: (Sorry this is so long...but I did want to explain a few things.) I started writing this story purely for myself, with no intention of ever sharing it with anyone. It was originally meant to be just a short vignette dealing with Edward's thoughts as he waited to die under the clock tower...but I kept getting drawn further in. The Volturi were too hard to resist...and Alice too. And so, it mushroomed into the behemoth it is now. I apologize in advance.**

**I should let you all know that overall, New Moon was my least favorite of the four to read. What can I say? Edward is my favorite character, and he was AWOL for over two thirds of it. I missed all of the Cullens, in fact. (I am definitely more of a vampire girl than a wolf girl.)**

**But that is not to say that I don't appreciate the _importance_ of what takes place in NM, in particular the lessons learned by Edward over the course of the story. Ultimately, I believe his relationship with Bella is strengthened by these events...even if there is a lot of pain (and Jacob) along the way. And needless to say, the last quarter or so of NM makes up for all the Edward-deprivation in the rest of it. This section remains one of my favorite parts of any of the Twilight books, and is one of those places where Edward's perspective just about begs to be explored.**

**So here is my take on Edward's thoughts (and the thoughts of others, naturally), from the clock tower onward. I should give fair warning: by necessity, the first half of this chapter contains a certain amount of wallowing.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns this, not me. I write with love and gratitude toward her, and I intend no infringement; I'm not making a dime off of any of this, and all direct quotes are used with respect. I will, however, be stealing a little from Shakespeare. **  
**  
Further note: (I swear this is the last one) If you have not done so already, I highly recommend reading the short extra Rosalie's News' on SM's website. It is EPOV of the phone calls, and it kind of gives you a setup for all of this...**

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**Beyond the Horizon**

**Chapter 1: Finis**

_O, here  
Will I set up my everlasting rest,  
And shake the yoke of inauspicious stars  
From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last!  
Arms, take your last embrace! and, lips, O you  
The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss  
A dateless bargain to engrossing death! _

The time of my end was near.

I knew this without having to look, without even having to count the ticks of the enormous clock which towered above me. When the clock struck noon, it would be time. It would be over.

It could not come fast enough.

I was impatient for it...I _needed_ it to come faster. I didn't know how much longer I could stand the pain, the untold agony as the hollow place in my chest ached and throbbed. I could step out into the sunlight right now, but I forced myself to hold back. _Stick to the plan, Edward._ _At least go out with something to be remembered. _I half-smiled. Or perhaps it was more of a grimace. Of course it was a grimace; I didn't smile anymore.

All was ready. My executioners were already in place in the alley behind me, waiting. I vaguely wondered what would become of any unfortunate humans who might bear witness to my final act. Would they be swept away, eliminated as well to keep the secret safely intact? I was vaguely disappointed that I could not bring myself to care.

Because it was over already. I could feel that, had felt it ever since that second phone call, the one which had confirmed the end of meaning, the end of my existence.

The end of everything.

With a fluid motion I shed my shirt, letting it fall to the cobblestones beside me. I knew that even in the shadows of the alley, the pale skin of my chest would gleam dully...but they would not stop me for that. They had their orders. They would wait until I had actually broken the law—until I had taken that final step into the light.

The clock ticked slowly closer to my end, and it took all of my patience to will myself to wait. Random thoughts flickered through my mind—my own thoughts, not those of the humans nearby, which were nothing more than a meaningless hum. I saw my home, the forests where I had loved to run, the prey I had hunted. I saw my family. Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper...Alice...Esme. They would all be disappointed in me. My pain grew stronger for a moment as I thought of Esme, my mother. This would hurt her the most. It would hurt them all. Yes, even Rose—despite all the nefarious motives I had attributed to her, I knew she had not anticipated this. She had expected me to come home. To get over it.

I almost chuckled when I thought of how little she understood me, even after so many years. Almost, but not quite.

All of this I passed through my mind in a matter of seconds. Because none of it was really important. None of it mattered. Behind the lids of my closed eyes, I could see _her_. Her face was alive, a smile hovering about her lips. An illusion. The cruelest of illusions. Every part of my body ached when I thought of her now, silent and cold, by now entombed beneath the heavy earth of her grave. Gone. Gone. Gone forever...

Had I been capable of it, I would have shed tears. No, had I been capable of it, I would surely be out of tears by now. I wondered if such a thing were physically possible, or if it was just another of those silly human clichés. Could someone ever run out of tears?

Not that it mattered. Nothing mattered now. My body was as still as a statue as I waited, as my life ticked inevitably toward its doom.

No, that was the wrong word to use. End. Conclusion. _Relief_.

Carlisle had always hoped that there would be more, that our kind could go to the same heaven as the humans...but I had never believed that. Aside from the fact that I had no soul, I was a murderer many times over, though I had not taken a human life in many years.

Until a few days ago.

Agony ripped through me as the guilt tore at the hollow place in my chest where my heart had once been, and I could have sworn that I was already burning. She had jumped—instinctively, I knew it had been because of me. I had overestimated her ability to get over me. I had left her alone and vulnerable, heartbroken. I had destroyed her happiness, wretch that I was. I had told the most blasphemous lie anyone had ever told—carving my own heart from my chest as I'd done so—and it had destroyed her. I had as good as taken her life.

The pain that crashed over me at that thought was as powerful as it had been back in Rio, when I had first learned of her...death. I had realized then, as I did now, that I'd been wrong, utterly wrong. Wrong to leave her, wrong to think that my absence would solve anything, wrong to resist my own need to be with her. I had taken myself away from her to protect her, to give her a chance to live the the safe, normal, happy life she deserved...and I had accomplished the opposite.

Had I been watching this unfold from a safe distance, the irony of it might have been enough to make me laugh out loud; as it was, it only made it all the more unbearable. She had been right when she had told me, a full year ago now, that it was too late. I had thought she'd be able to move on, to forget me. True, I'd never believed her to be as fickle as many other humans—those who seemed happy to change partners as easily as they changed cell phones or cars—but still, I'd given her too little credit. I should have known that in this, as in so many other ways, she was different from most of her kind. Having failed to keep myself away from her in the first place, I should never have left.

If only I had been stronger in the beginning! To have kept the pain to myself rather than selfishly involving Bella! If only I had never met her, had never come to Forks...if only I had never existed! I should not exist. I should have died in 1918. Another wave of self-loathing crashed over me; I had never hated myself more than in that moment.

_I_ had destroyed that beautiful, precious creature...as surely as if I had succumbed to the draw of her blood on that very first day. Even if my world had not ceased to have meaning without her, even if the pain had not been too much to bear, I would still have deserved to die for this, the most of heinous of crimes...

I almost crumpled, almost gave in early to the need to end it, to destroy myself before the pain could rip me apart any more. I thought of all the conversations I'd had with Carlisle about morals, about right and wrong. He had thought of me as a good man, and I knew myself to be the most wretched, most vile, most miserable excuse for a man that had ever existed. It took every ounce of my strength to hold back, to wait, as I had decided. It would not be long, after all, and I knew how I wanted to spend the last moments of my life.

I heard the large hand on the clock creak closer to its zenith. There was only a minute left, now. The hum of the crowd was louder, excited. I had timed this well; the festival would ensure that there would be plenty of human witnesses to my little exhibition—no chance that it would go unnoticed.

Once again, I tried and failed to care what might happen to them. They were nothing to me, just as the whole world was nothing; the best that could be said of the way I felt about these people was that it was not the hatred I felt for myself. _By heaven, I love thee better than myself; for I come hither arm'd against myself. Stay not, be gone; live, and hereafter say, a madman's mercy bade thee run away.  
_  
Perhaps my executioners would want to act before anyone saw; perhaps it would be so quick that human eyes would see nothing. Perhaps those in the square would continue in their revels, oblivious to the violence taking place so close at hand.

My time was short, and I welcomed that. But I also knew how to spend it. I allowed myself to drift back into my memories, just as I had done so many times over the last day.

I spent the last minute of my existence with Bella Swan.

I saw her that first day in the cafeteria, when she had seemed such a mystery to me...and that first Biology class together, when the vile monster inside of me had wanted to drink her blood. I watched as the curiosity grew in her eyes, even as her mind remained ever unfathomable to me. I remembered touching her warm, soft skin...the first time I had held her in my arms, the first time my lips had touched hers. I remembered all the arguments, all the nights spent in the haven of her room, all the smiles, all the words spoken between us...

Behind my closed eyelids, she was there. Always there...and so close. She smiled—a dazzling, beautiful, heartbreaking smile which made the hollow place in my chest seer with fresh pain. She raised her hand as if to beckon to me. Her lips parted, and she spoke my name.

A soft whisper on the breeze, a sweet lullaby...her voice. My lips twitched, the closest thing to a smile that had crossed my face in months.

High above, the first bell of the clock tower tolled.

In the square before me, the excitement grew.

I willed myself to remain in place, to remain with her for those few seconds I had left. I could see her as clearly as if she were standing before me, every detail of her perfect face, every soft curve of her beautiful body. She was wearing my favorite blue blouse, the one she had worn that memorable night in Port Angeles; it complimented the cream and roses of her skin perfectly. Her brow puckered as she regarded me, and I wondered if she would have disapproved of what I was about to do. No, I did not wonder, I _knew_ that she would have disapproved—she had said as much, all those months ago. It would have hurt her, to know that I was doing this. But I could not stand the pain. I was forever barred from the place she had gone, but I could still end it...I _had_ to end it. I could not live in a world where she did not exist. _Bella, my love, my life...forgive me. I have no choice. Forgive me.  
_  
The bell continued to toll as I asked for forgiveness...as I said my final farewells to my one and true love.

Her voice came to me again, another echo from my thoughts, calling my name. She sounded distant, and yet at the same time so close, as if her voice had come somehow from the jumble of voices in the crowded square. Behind my closed eyelids, her frown deepened. No, she did not approve. She _would_ not have approved, I corrected myself. I knew it was only my subconscious telling me what I already knew, that she would never have wanted this. But I could not allow that to stop me. She had gone first, she taken her own life; she could not expect me to linger here behind. _There must be an end._ I felt strangely peaceful as I allowed myself to remember the feel of her warm body cradled in my arms, one last time. _Eyes, look your last! Arms, take your last embrace! And, lips, O you the doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss a dateless bargain to engrossing death! _

As the ninth bell tolled, I took a step forward.

_No! Edward, look at me!_

I half-smiled; the movement of my lips seemed odd, unfamiliar, for it had surely been centuries since I'd really smiled. It had been almost real, that voice. I had perfect recall, of course...but had I not known it to be impossible I could have sworn that she was there, running toward me, a faint echo amidst the endless babbling of voices. I could even imagine that I could hear her heartbeat—accelerated but still unmistakable. Beautiful. A fitting sound to accompany me as I put an end to my existence. I lifted my foot to take the final step, the step which would end in oblivion.

Something crashed into me.

I caught it reflexively, before I'd even had the chance to register that it was something warm...something soft...something I knew as well as anything in this world...

Slowly...very slowly, I opened my eyes. I only distantly registered the tenth tolling of the clock tower...and surely it was growing more distant with every moment, for I could not still be in Volterra. I was somewhere else entirely. There was no other explanation for what I saw when my eyes looked down on the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.

Her eyes...deep pools of liquid brown. I could have stared into them for the rest of eternity and never desired to look away. Her cheeks, flushed my favorite shade of delicate rose. The pale, translucent skin, just as I remembered it. The hair, a cascade of rich mahogany which felt like silk when I trailed it over my fingers. The warmth...the beautiful, perfect warmth. It was her, in every perfect detail. Bella in my arms, just as I'd imagined. But I was no longer imagining. It must have happened, they must have done it. So quick it must have been—swifter than any apothecary's drug! I'd felt nothing, but I knew I had fulfilled my purpose: I had passed from the world. But I had not expected to find anything beyond. Certainly not this.

"Amazing," I breathed; I could hear the wonder and amusement in my voice. "Carlisle was right."

All those years I had believed that he was wrong, all of the debates I'd had with him, and he had been right all along. There _was_ something after. I _must_ still have a soul. What else could explain the angel I now held in my arms? I wanted to laugh out loud, but I could not bring myself to break the spell of the moment.

Her lips moved—how exquisite they were! She was trying to speak, but no sound issued from her mouth, as if her voice had been stolen. Her breaths came in gasps, and her eyes were strangely anxious—frantic, even. I wanted to smooth away her worry and concern. I lifted my hand to brush it softly across her cheek; her warmth flamed beneath my fingers, just as I remembered. Yes, she was real! How wonderful it was to touch her again, to feel her angel's skin beneath my fingers—no memory could truly compare! Distantly—very distantly, as if the sound came from another world—I heard the bell toll again.

There was nothing in my sight but her, nothing else to hold my gaze. We were together, and I did not care to question how or why. We were together, and for the first time in six long, excruciating months, I felt whole. The hollow in my chest was filled again; my dead heart sang in triumph—it was as though it had never been gone at all. The burden had lifted from my shoulders, and the pain had vanished. I was truly at peace.

"I can't believe how quick it was," I told her, my voice soft, gentle. "I didn't feel a thing—they're very good." I closed my eyes again as I pressed my lips to her hair. _"Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty_," I quoted in a murmur. In all my years of studying Shakespeare, I had never understood those words as profoundly as I did now. _Thou art not conquer'd; beauty's ensign yet is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks, and death's pale flag is not advanced there._

The distant clock tolled again—in the back of my mind, I knew it was the twelfth and final time. I inhaled deeply, my face still buried in her hair, and her sweet scent burned my dry throat, the same as ever. But the monster was gone; there was no part of me left which thirsted for her blood, no part of me which would ever be able to hurt her again. "You smell just exactly the same as always," I said as I pulled back to look again into her eyes, "So maybe this _is_ hell. I don't care. I'll take it." And I meant it. Any hell which contained her could surely never deserve the name.

"I'm not dead," she said, her voice breathless, "and neither are you!" Her voice washed over me like a tonic, and I almost felt that I would swoon. But it contained that same frantic note that had been in her eyes, and part of me wondered what could be the reason for it. Her words made no sense—not dead? Of course we were both dead! I tried to reach out, to hear her mind, but it was as much a mystery to me as it had been in life...I supposed I could not have expected anything else. I listened, bemused, as she continued. "Please Edward, we have to move. They can't be far away!"

She struggled in my arms, as if trying to get away, and for the first time since she'd crashed into my arms, I felt true confusion. What did she mean, _they can't be far away_? We were alone, utterly alone. Gloriously alone. And together. Why move anywhere, when right here was perfect?

"What was that?" I asked her, wanting to understand the reason for her strange anxiety.

"We're not dead," she almost growled, "not yet! But we have to get out of here before the Volturi—"

_The Volturi._

As she spoke, two things hit me: one, the meaning of her words finally came together—in a strange, impossible way—and two, I heard something shift very quietly behind me. In the alley. The alley beside the clock tower. In Volterra.

Almost before I realized what I was doing, I had spun with Bella so that her back was against the alley wall. I released her and whirled, spreading out my arms in a protective shield as I faced the two shadows which peeled casually away from the opposite wall.

Bella was not dead. Alice had been wrong. _Bella was not dead._

The truth coursed through me as I stared at the two cloaked figures before me, and I tried desperately to understand what had happened—how I had got it so wrong.

The funeral the boy had mentioned must have been for someone else. Waves of understanding crashed over me, mixing exquisite relief with deepest horror as the world reoriented itself around me, and I realized the depth of my mistake. Bella was alive...and somehow, she had found out that I was here, and what I was about to do. Alice. Alice must have seen it...of _course_ Alice would have seen it. And she would have tried to stop me herself, whether Bella had lived or not. But Bella _had_ lived...and Alice had been in Forks—with her—when I'd made my decision. Bella had come here to stop me. She had succeeded.

And now she was in mortal danger.

I had to save her. Somehow, I had to save her.

"Greetings, gentlemen." It took a great deal of effort to keep my voice calm and cordial. They could neither hear nor see the desperation which seethed within me. "I don't think I'll be requiring your services today. I would appreciate it very much, however, if you would send my thanks to your masters."

I could hear their thoughts, now that I was looking for them—confusion, curiosity, amusement...and something more from Felix as he looked past me to Bella, something which sent the hate surging through me and made me want to rip him to pieces. As it was, I fought to hold back my snarl; I had to stay calm, or there was no hope. I could hear Bella's rapid heartbeat behind me, and through their thoughts, I could see the frightened expression on her face as she peeked below my arm.

I had brought her into this. I would get her out.

"Shall we take this conversation to a more appropriate venue?" Felix whispered; his smooth voice was full of menace. _The girl has a deliciously sweet scent to her...and she is quite...pretty. I don't suppose they would begrudge me a little fun...she's not from Volterra, after all..._

"I don't believe that will be necessary," I said, glaring at him as I fought to control my anger. "I know your instructions, Felix. I haven't broken any rules."

_Not quite true, is it?_ came Demetri's thoughts. _She seems to know something about _us_, after all..._ Aloud he said, "Felix merely meant to point out the proximity of the sun." His voice was soothing; he didn't want the situation to get out of hand. "Let us seek better cover." _Just get them out of here, away from prying eyes...  
_  
"I'll be right behind you," I said dryly. "Bella, why don't you go back to the square and enjoy the festival?" _For once, please do as I say_, I begged her silently. _Please don't worry about me...you have to get yourself away from here!_

"No, bring the girl," Felix whispered silkily. I could see the images in his mind—lewd, twisted fantasies that made the hatred surge within me once more. Once again, I fought to control myself, remembering the odds I was up against.

"I don't think so." My voice had gone cold; I was past trying to be civil. We all knew what was coming now. Somehow, I had to protect Bella. I shifted my weight every so slightly as I prepared for the worst. If I could somehow take these two down fast enough, maybe I would have a chance to get Bella away from here.

"No," I heard Bella breathe behind me. She could see where this was headed.

"Shh," I murmured, just for her. I didn't dare take my eyes away from the others. I had to hope that their restraint would keep them from simply attacking with so many humans close by—it was obvious to them that I would fight back, now. But my hopes weren't high; Felix was obviously itching for a fight. I surveyed his massive bulk—he was nearly as large as Emmett, and almost certainly a more skilled fighter. I had an advantage that he did not, in that I could see his moves as he planned them...but I knew I was physically weakened—it had been so long since I'd fed. Could I win a fight against him, let alone both of them?

If we could just get away...I might be able to outrun most of the guard, even with Bella on my back. But they would come after us, and we would never have peace...

"Felix," Demetri murmured, shooting a warning glance at his eager companion. "Not here." His thoughts flickered nervously to the nearby square, where more than one pair of eyes had turned in our direction. He did not want a scene here, so close to so many humans. Maybe a fight could be avoided after all. "Aro would simply like to speak with you again," he told me, "if you have decided not to force our hand after all."

Oh, I knew that. Despite what Felix's baser instincts might desire, their instructions were clear. But I had no intention of bringing Bella anywhere near Aro—even if I could have trusted Felix to keep his lecherous intentions in check.

"Certainly," I agreed. "But the girl goes free."

"I'm afraid that's not possible," Demetri said with an rueful smile. "We do have rules to obey." _And clearly she knows too much. Aro would never brook letting her go—it endangers everything._

All the more reason to keep Bella as far away from Aro as possible.

"Then _I'm_ afraid that I'll be unable to accept Aro's invitation, Demetri."

"That's just fine," Felix purred. _I'll enjoy taking you down...and then I'll enjoy spending a little time alone with the girl. No need to kill her immediately...  
_  
"Aro will be disappointed," Demetri sighed, oblivious to Felix's thoughts. _He really didn't want us to kill him..._

"I'm sure he'll survive the letdown," I replied dryly, struggling to keep ahold of myself. _Stay calm. Stay calm. You might be able to win if it comes to a fight, if you just stay calm._ I didn't really believe my own assurances. Even if I could somehow defeat these two while keeping Bella unharmed (and really, the odds of that were pretty steep), how long would I have before the rest of them descended upon us? I stretched out with my mind, searching for others. The city was a babble of human voices; I tried to find the few among them that belonged to our kind...

Behind me, I heard Bella's breath catch, her heartbeat quickening as Felix and Demetri spread out before us, moving closer to the mouth of the alley. Demetri was almost into the light—protected by his long gray cloak, he was safe from detection. They were trying to force us deeper into the alley, away from the watching humans.

I stayed where I was. I would not play this game. If they wanted a fight, they'd just have to take me right—

_Well aren't _you_ a sight for sore eyes!_ _Now don't do anything rash, I'm almost there!_

I looked abruptly down the winding alley, from which a most familiar voice had just sounded in my thoughts. Demetri and Felix did likewise, reacting to the light sound of approaching footsteps.

"Let's behave ourselves, shall we?" a lilting voice suggested. "There are ladies present."

In all the years I had known Alice, I had never been so glad to hear her voice.

She came into view a moment later, her little arms swinging like a child's, deceptively fragile. Her demeanor was quite casual as she tripped lightly to my side.

_Miss me?_ she asked lightly, her eyes fixed on our adversaries.

_You have no idea_, I wanted to say back. But I held my silence, watching Felix and Demetri. They had both straightened from their crouches, upset by this turn of events. Felix scowled, his eyes darting from Alice to me.

_Damn! Where did _this_ one come from? This is going to be more complicated than I thought! Oh well, she's a tiny thing...shouldn't slow us up too much..._

_Not good,_ Demetri thought, his mouth set into a hard line as his eyes flickered between the three of us and the direction of the square. _We really need to avoid a scene here. Aro would be furious if _we_ ended up disturbing the peace.  
_  
"We're not alone," Alice said quietly, as if she too could read Demetri's thoughts.

Demetri risked a longer glance over his shoulder. I knew what he would see, for I could hear _their_ thoughts as well. A few yards into the square, a little family was watching us—a mother, a father, and two little girls. My ears had no difficulty in making out what the woman was saying to her husband, the Italian words spilling from her in her urgency.

"I don't like this. Something is clearly wrong," she whispered, glancing once more toward Bella and me. "Those men in cloaks...I think they are threatening the girl, and the young man and woman are trying to protect her. I think we should tell someone..." She broke off and looked away when she noticed Demetri's eyes on her. I saw her give a slight shudder. _What a creepy pair of men! And the boy! So handsome, and yet so...odd—as pale as if he has been living in a cave. I still do not understand...the girl ran toward him in such a frenzy, as if _she_ were trying to save _him. I saw brief, confused images in her mind of Bella shoving past the bystanders, careening frantically toward me, shouting my name...

_Maybe she's right._ The husband frowned as he looked in our direction. _It is most likely an overreaction, but it would surely be better to err on the side of caution._ With one eye still on the five of us, he walked over to get the attention of one of the many policemen who were scattered throughout the plaza. The mother hugged the two girls closer as she edged away from us.

Demetri shook his head as he turned back to us. _Not good, not good..._ "Please, Edward, let's be reasonable," he said, a hint of pleading in his voice. _This could get very messy indeed...Aro will be furious... _He winced internally as he imagined the torment in store for him if he botched his assignment...

"Let's," I agreed. "And we'll leave quietly now, with no one the wiser."

Demetri let out a frustrated sigh which was almost a growl. _There must be a way out of this!_ "At least let us discuss this more privately."

Privately. Right. Where he and Felix could be free to deal with us away from prying eyes. Even with Alice beside me, I did not like our chances—suppose they were able to call more of them to their side? And how would I protect Bella?

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that the husband had brought back six policemen, all dressed in red to match the rest of the revelers. They stood a dozen yards away from the alley entrance, watching us anxiously.

_This _does_ look suspicious..._

_What would be the best course, I wonder?_

_They haven't done anything wrong...yet._

_Probably a drug deal gone wrong._

_The girl looks terrified, and the boy is clearly protecting her. But if they feel so threatened, why not just move into the square? It is only a few meters away. This makes no sense._

_Why me? Why does this have to happen on _my_ watch?_

_I hope they can do something,_ the mother thought, her worried eyes fixed on Bella's pale face. _She looks so frightened..._ I stared at Bella through her thoughts, even as my eyes remained firmly on Demetri and Felix. She did look frightened, her wide eyes darting from the cloaked figures to Alice to me, and back again. Then the woman's gaze shifted momentarily, back to her own family—her husband, her two children...

Witnesses. Well, it seemed unlikely that any confrontation would go unnoticed now. I found that I was suddenly able to care, again, what might happen to these people. It was as if Bella had reawakened all of my better instincts with her presence, with the knowledge that she was alive. These innocents should not die because of us. Was there a way to save them as well? I wanted to shout for them to run, but knew that would only doom them faster—not to mention us as well.

Beside me, Alice was as still as a statue. I could see images flashing like lightning through her mind as she tried to see all of the possible outcomes. I almost shuddered as her thoughts centered more and more on dark passageways...on a circular room...on a pair of dull red, milky eyes, full of barely disguised greed...

My teeth came together as I glared openly at Demetri. "No."

Felix smiled. _And now you die._

"Enough."

I felt a jolt of panic shoot through me at the sound of the high, reedy voice. _No. No, no, no! Not her—anyone but her!_

But of course, it was her. I could hear her thoughts, now that I focused on them, and I fought hard to resist the urge to yank Bella away. But I knew it was hopeless. There was no escape now. I glared as she approached—a slight little thing, no bigger than Alice, yet just as deceptive in her power. No, more so. A stranger might have looked upon her face and seen an angel, but I could see the demon behind it. I wanted to snarl.

_Ah. It seems there is more here than I expected. Hmm. Two unknown females, one immortal, the other human. Human. Hmm. And Edward stands as her guardian—could it be that Isabella Swan is alive after all? Intriguing. And now I have them all. Aro will be pleased with me. It shouldn't be a problem to get them to cooperate. Edward, at least, knows what I can do._

Yes, I did know what she could do. I had seen it all too clearly in their memories when I had first gone to see the Volturi—to ask them to kill me. Aro had few scruples when it came to putting everyone in their rightful place, including members of his own guard...and Jane's power was a useful tool for doing just that. The very thought of it made me feel sick, if a vampire could truly feel such a thing. Her dull crimson eyes flickered momentarily to Bella. She would enjoy testing her power, if given the excuse. I knew there was nothing I could do but obey her. In my peripheral vision I saw Felix and Demetri retreat to the shadows of the wall, their faces smug. They knew they had won.

My arms dropped to my side; there was no point in fighting now. Any slim chance we might have had against them had vanished with Jane's appearance.

"Jane," I sighed in resignation.

Beside me, Alice folded her arms across her chest. _So, this is the famous Jane. Somehow I thought she'd be...smaller. _In her head, I could see the visions stabilizing, solidifying, as the decisions became clear.

"Follow me," Jane said in a monotone. She turned her back on us and drifted back down the alley, her footsteps a bare whisper. _Aro will be so pleased..._

Felix smirked as he gestured in the same direction. _After you, honored guests...I wonder if they'd notice if I slipped away with the girl...nah, better not risk it._

Alice shot him a dark glance as she started after Jane. _Come on, let's get this over with. I think...if we play our cards right, this might work out...  
_  
I kept my eyes on Felix as I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist and pulled her along, keeping her between myself and Alice. I could only hope that my sister's optimism was warranted, and that there was some way out of this nightmare that I had brought down upon us all.

* * *

**A/N: So did anyone like that? Please take the time to review! This story will continue all the way through to the epilogue. All the chapters are written already, I just have some editing to do before they're in their final form. I will most likely have the second chapter up in a few days.**

**Now, a couple of explanations. First, there's a bit of a sticky situation with the exact number of months Edward was gone. You may have noticed that he says 'six' in this story, whereas Bella says 'seven' in the book. I'm going on the assumption that Saint Marcus Day is on March 19th, which would make it a little over six months since he left in mid-September, and I will continue to use this date as a reference. If I'm wrong, and Forks High School actually has their spring break in April...then I apologize. I'm only human.**

**Second, if anyone's wondering about the title of this story, it comes from one of Edward's lines in The Truth , where he describes what Bella meant to him and what it felt like when he left her. He uses the metaphor of a meteor which shoots across his sky then falls over the horizon, leaving everything in darkness. Thus, 'beyond the horizon' is where they find each other again. **


	2. Chapter 2: Into the Lion's Den

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns this, not me. Sadly, I do not own anything so wonderful. :(**

**Chapter 2: Into the Lion's Den**

I could hear Bella's frightened heartbeat beside me as we made our way down the alley. She looked up at me, her eyes frantic and full of questions, but I could only shake my head. I wanted so much to comfort her, to do what I could to ease the dread she must be feeling. But I couldn't—not with Felix and Demetri so close behind, not with Jane just ahead, her dark cloak fluttering quietly in the shadows. My own curiosity burned like a hungry flame; I wanted to talk to Bella, to ask her what had happened, but this was not the place for an extended explanation. I glanced sideways at Alice's hardened expression. I could not read Bella's mind, but I could get the information I needed from my sister.

It was difficult to decide how I felt about Alice at the moment. It seemed like a lifetime ago that I had wanted to wring her neck for going back to Forks. Maybe I still did, in a way—after all, if not for her, Bella would probably be safe at home this very moment. _And if she'd never had that vision,_ I thought sardonically, _or if she'd somehow stopped Rose from making that call, I might still be in that slum in Rio, doing my best to get through another day—no, more like another hour—of being apart from Bella...yes, how wonderful, Edward._ Just being with Bella again was indescribably wonderful, even if we were in mortal danger. Maybe that was why it was difficult to feel anything but gratitude toward Alice at the moment.

"Well, Alice," I said, trying to keep my tone conversational, all too aware of the three unwelcome sets of ears which surrounded us. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see you here."

"It was my mistake," Alice answered just as casually. "It was my job to set it right." In her mind, I saw the image of Bella hurling herself from the top of a high seaside cliff—the vision which had begun this mess. I suppressed a shudder.

"What happened?" I kept my tone almost indifferent, as if I had little interest in the matter. No outside listener would have guessed at the burning curiosity behind my words.

"It's a long story." Alice's eyes flickered toward Bella and away. _A _very_ long story, actually, and to be honest, I can't pretend to understand all of it._ "In summary, she did jump off a cliff, but she wasn't trying to kill herself." _What?_ I wanted to ask, but I let her finish. "Bella's all about the extreme sports these days," she added, her golden eyes suddenly boring into mine with something which looked rather like accusation.

And the images assaulted me then, a flurry of her memories from the last few days—conversations with Bella, with Charlie...a confrontation with Jacob Black. My horror grew as I began to form a sketchy picture of what the last six months had been like for Bella. I noticed that Bella herself had turned her gaze resolutely forward, her cheeks suddenly quite red. I wondered if she understood what was passing before my eyes right now.

I almost recoiled from the knowledge, unable to digest it all. She _had_ nearly drowned when she'd jumped, but she had been saved by Jacob...who was...a werewolf. That knowledge hit me particularly hard. She had befriended a _werewolf_—no, a whole damn pack of them! Did the girl have no sense of self-preservation at all? I'd had no idea, no idea at all that the wolf transformation had reasserted itself among the Quileutes—it had been so long! My eyes widened involuntarily as I heard the rest, and I realized how much danger she had been in.

_Victoria._ Even in my thoughts, the name came out as a snarl. I hadn't paid her enough attention in the clearing, what seemed like a lifetime ago. I had underestimated her bond with James. True, I'd thought she might come after _me_ one day, but I should have realized what her true target would be. All the time I'd spent tracking her had been wasted; I should have known, when she'd shaken me off in Texas, where she would have gone. She had come back for Bella, and I had not been there to protect her.

I felt the venom rise in my throat like bile; it was a wonder that the others could not feel the hatred pouring off of me. It would have alarmed Jasper, had he been there. Hatred for Victoria...hatred for myself. My thoughts from just a few minutes ago came back at me, and I did not miss the irony: _I had kept myself away from her to protect her, to give her a chance to live the safe, normal, happy life she deserved...and I had accomplished the opposite._

No, she was not dead, as I'd thought. But that changed nothing. I remembered how I used to tell Bella, half-jokingly, that she was a magnet for trouble. It seemed I'd been more right than I had ever realized. Even with my cursed presence gone from her life, danger continued to stalk her. Victoria, Laurent, werewolves...and her own recklessness. Another conversation with Bella flickered through Alice's thoughts. Hmm. The werewolves had killed Laurent, it seemed. Good. At least the mongrels were good for something. And they had protected her from Victoria, kept her safe...but how long could they have continued to do so? I suppressed another shudder.

And Jacob Black had done more than just save her from drowning. Before that, he had been a friend to her, had comforted her during those painful months. A very good friend indeed. My eyes narrowed slightly as I felt a stirring of jealousy within me. Nothing more than friendship, I told myself. And surely she was entitled, even if it were somehow more than that. Despicable wretch that I was, I had abandoned her, and what right had I to complain about anything she chose to do, or anyone she chose to be with?

But I could not afford to think of any of that just now.

"Hm," I said curtly, my casual pretense gone. _Focus, Edward_._ Concentrate on getting yourself and your loved ones out of this, and then you can berate yourself all you want._

We were nearing the end of the alleyway, where Jane had already disappeared down an open drain. Alice strode toward it without hesitation. _I'll go first; don't worry, I'll catch her._ She raised her arms daintily above her head as she dropped down. I heard the lightest of thuds as she landed.

I felt Bella tense at my side, her heart suddenly beating even faster than before. She was afraid, and I didn't blame her. Of course, the minor obstacle of the drain itself was nothing compared with the horrors which awaited us further on.

"It's all right, Bella," I told her quietly. "Alice will catch you." I watched her eye the hole doubtfully, her brow furrowed with worry, her eyes wide with fear. I would have carried her, but the drain was too narrow. I would have gone first, had Felix and Demetri not been waiting behind. It made me sick to think of leaving Bella alone with them for even a moment.

With hesitant movements, Bella crouched down and swung her legs into the hole. "Alice?" she asked in a shaky whisper.

"I'm right here, Bella," Alice said from below, trying to reassure her. I could see that Bella was not very reassured.

I reached down to close my hands like shackles around her wrists. Her skin was so soft, so warm...and like everything else about her, so vulnerable... With great care, I lifted her from the edge and lowered her down as far as I could reach.

"Ready?" I asked, looking past Bella's body to where Alice waited below.

_Don't worry, I won't let her get hurt...and Jane is out of sight._ "Drop her," she called aloud.

It was easier to let her go knowing that Jane was not waiting at the bottom—I listened and found her thoughts, still centered around Aro's likely pleasure at her success, some fifty feet down the tunnel. Bella squeezed her eyes shut, and I let her fall. I watched her descend into the darkness, never losing sight of her—my eyes were strong enough to see to the bottom. I watched Alice catch her in her arms, wincing a little as I imagined the bruises she'd probably have afterward. _If we live long enough for her to develop bruises, I won't complain_, I told myself. _And I suspect she won't either.  
_  
As soon as they'd moved out of the way, I dropped down beside them. I drew Bella close to my side and began to move forward, wanting to put some distance between us and the drain before Demetri and Felix dropped down. Both of her warm arms snaked around my waist as she pressed herself closer to me; it made walking awkward for her, but she didn't loosen her grip as we made our way down the tunnel. I kept my arm tight around her as well, and tried not to listen to the ominous, metallic sound of Felix sliding the heavy grate back into place over the drain before he dropped the rest of the way down. It wasn't so much that the grate was a physical barrier to our kind...but it was just another reminder of the severity of our predicament.

Walking beside us, Alice was silent—still concentrating on her shifting visions, trying to see the future. Bella's heart beat at a frantic pace as she tripped and stumbled on the uneven stones, her staggering footsteps echoing through the dim, dripping, stone walled tunnel. I doubted if she could see anything at all, now that the dim light from the drain had faded behind us. Maybe that was a good thing. I thought about carrying her, but Bella's human pace at least kept us slow, and I wanted to give Alice more time to explore the possible outcomes. Besides, I wasn't eager to hurry along what was coming.

Behind us, Felix heaved an impatient sigh. _I don't know why we have to keep such an insufferable pace...stupid, slow human. I wonder how long it will be before they let me...  
_  
I tuned out his thoughts, struggling again to control my rage. _Patience._

Instead, I focused on Bella. Wanting to comfort her, and also just needing to touch her, I reached over to cup her face with my free hand. I traced my thumb across her warm, full lips—I'd forgotten just how perfect they were. No, forgotten was the wrong word. I had never forgotten. Just tried not to think...

It had been futile, of course, it had all been futile. I should never have left her, and if we somehow survived this, I would never leave her again. The realization...no, the _promise_ of that spread over me like a soothing warmth. I pressed my lips to her hair, wishing I could make her understand. I didn't know how much she comprehended now about the lies I had told her. Surely she could not still believe them? That terrible day came flooding back to me...the day when my life had seemed to come to an end. I had walked away from her, leaving her heartbroken behind me. Could I ever make amends for that? I would try.

I pressed my face into her hair again, realizing with despair that I might not get the chance to make those amends. She tightened her grip around my waist, and I continued to soothe her face with my hand, trying desperately to tell her without words how much I loved her. Trying desperately to tell her that it would be all right, that we would get out of this somehow, though I barely believed it myself. I pressed my lips silently to her forehead.

Beside us, Alice was still mired in her flickering visions, the future still so uncertain.

I gave part of my attention to the thoughts of those around us, though I was careful to avoid Felix, not quite trusting my temper. Up ahead, Jane was still lost in the exultation of her success, anticipating Aro's delight with pleasure. I was just glad that she wasn't thinking anything _else_...for the moment, at least. Behind us, Demetri was allowing his mind to wander; he too found the pace uncomfortably slow, but he had more patience than Felix. He was thinking of a mission he'd carried out recently, tracking down someone who had been of interest to Aro. I concentrated, trying to understand how his ability worked. He seemed to be able to catch the flavor of someone's mind, and though he could not hear their thoughts as I could, he was able to home in on them across great distances. He was a tracker, the best tracker in the world...and it was for this ability that Aro valued him. He was one of their most important assets—no one could truly escape the Volturi as long as they had him.

But if, as I suspected, his talent worked along the same lines as mine, perhaps Bella was immune...

I mulled over the possibilities as we continued down the tunnel. If we could just get away, maybe I could hide her, make her safe... But I knew that with Jane there, there was no chance of escape.

Slowly, the tunnel began to brighten. Bella could probably see something of our surroundings now. I wasn't certain whether I wanted her to or not. She was already shaking in fear...or was it something else? Abruptly, her teeth started to chatter, and I realized that she must be cold. Her clothes were damp—what had she done, run through the fountain in the square to get to me? I realized how frigid the tunnel had to feel to her...not to mention my skin...

I loosened my grip on her and gently tugged her arms free of my waist, though I kept hold of her hand. I regretted having to put any distance between us, but I couldn't let her freeze to death. For what was surely the thousandth time, I wished I could be warm, like her.

But she wasn't having it. "N-n-no," she chattered as she threw her arms around me again.

_She's been apart from you for so long...she needs you to hold her_, chimed Alice's thoughts. _She'd tell you just the same, if she could._ Of course, she _was_ telling me, with her actions; I doubted words could have made it any more plain. I chafed against her arm with my hand, trying to warm her with the friction. It wouldn't be too long before we left the cold tunnel behind. I felt a shiver of my own at the thought of what waited beyond.

Our progress was slow, though I doubted Bella saw it that way. Felix continued to heave a sigh now and then. But he kept the peace, for the moment. I knew that he was just as wary of Jane as I was. At least that was some comfort.

As we approached the end of the tunnel, I could smell the strong scent of rust coming from the iron bars of the grate. Jane had left the small door open for us; I ducked through with Bella and hurried on to a larger, brighter stone room. The grille slammed shut with a _clang_, and Demetri snapped the lock into place.

We crossed the room and passed through the low, heavy wooden door on the far side. Bella glanced around in surprise as we entered a brighter corridor of a more modern design, and I felt her relax against me. She found the change of setting soothing, it seemed. I wished I could have said the same. I tensed, glowering darkly down the long hallway to where Jane waited by an elevator.

Jane's face was impassive as ever, and her thoughts were still quite controlled. But I could sense the excitement beneath the surface. She was looking forward to delivering her prize to Aro and the others...and she was hoping for the chance to use her unique ability on all of us.

It took everything I had to force myself and Bella down that hallway.

Alice kept closely to Bella's other side. _Don't worry about her right now. I can see it beginning to come together. Aro is curious, it seems. He really doesn't want to destroy any of us._

I knew what he wanted. I didn't need Alice's visions for that. Aro was a collector—a collector of knowledge, power...and most of all, _talent_. The permanent Volturi guard was teeming with it—Jane, Alec, Demetri, Heidi, Chelsea, Renata...not to mention Marcus. And Aro himself. I grimaced at the memory of his touch, at knowing that all my memories belonged to him now. I had half-wondered, at the time, how one mind could hold so much information, from all of the people he must have touched in his three thousand years. I had barely cared then, lost as I'd been.

But now I focused. I knew what Alice meant when she said he didn't want to destroy us. Truly, he didn't. He wanted to _keep_ us. Alice, with her visions of the future, would be an invaluable asset to him. And my ability to read minds—multiple minds, and from a distance of several miles away if they were familiar enough—would be almost as irresistible to him. Yes, Aro would give much to have us both as part of his collection.

I thought briefly of Chelsea, who did so much to hold the Volturi together with her cohesive power. In some ways, I was glad of her influence—for instance, it would help to prevent individuals like Jane or Felix from acting on their own impulses. But could her power force Alice and I to join them—break down our bonds of love and loyalty to our own family and bind us to the Volturi instead? I shuddered again internally. No, I had to believe that we were both stronger than that. Our bonds to our family were so much more potent than those of an ordinary coven. Surely we would be able to resist.

But to what end? Perhaps if it were just us, death would be preferable to such servitude. But what about Bella? Uneasily I realized that they could use her against me, threaten her to force my cooperation. Aro had seen the depth of my feelings when he had taken my thoughts; he knew the power she held over me, even if he could not truly understand it.

Jane watched our approach from where she waited by the elevator, unaware of the gears whirring in my mind. Her face betrayed nothing, but her thoughts were still smug with anticipation. She lived to serve Aro and the others. I was disgusted at the thought that I could ever be a slave like her. That desire to inflict pain continued to hover at the edges of her mind—she took pleasure from that as well. Too much pleasure. Despite Alice's words, I didn't trust her for a moment. I kept myself between her and Bella as we stepped into the elevator.

Jane, Demetri, and Felix all relaxed a little once inside the elevator, content now that we were almost there, and that Bella's human pace would not be slowing us for much longer. Bella watched them with wide eyes from her corner of the elevator as they threw back their hoods, her human eyes seeing their faces properly for the first time. I felt her cringe against me as her shivering intensified again—whether more from the cold or from fear, I could not tell. I continued to chafe at her arm with my hand, never taking my eyes off Jane.

After the short elevator ride, we stepped out into the windowless (of course) reception area. It was decorated in a bland, generic sort of way, meant to seem familiar, comforting...like any other business lobby in the human world.

I wanted to sneer at the deception. It was for the humans who came here, to keep them unsuspecting for as long as possible, before... I didn't allow myself to finish the thought.

To complete the charade, the human woman called Gianna stood behind the high, polished mahogany counter in the center of the room. She smiled pleasantly at us, and I could see Bella's astonished stare through her eyes.

Of course Bella would want to know why this woman was here—whether she knew what was really happening around her, whether she understood the nature of the creatures who surrounded her every day. For once I was almost glad that we could not talk here, because I wasn't sure I wanted to explain this. Particularly in light of Bella's hopes for her own future.

"Good afternoon, Jane," Gianna said politely. She was not at all surprised by our appearance. Half-naked man, frightened girl, cloaked figures with demonic red eyes...just another day at the office.

Jane gave her a lazy nod. "Gianna." _Always so hopeful...almost never able to make the cut. I doubt very much that this one will last out the month._

We all followed her toward the double doors on the far side of the room. Felix threw a wink at Gianna as he passed the desk, and she giggled. _Ooh, he's so unbelievably handsome...I wonder if he'll choose me as his mate when I become one of them? Mind you, Demetri wouldn't be a bad catch either...heck, all of them are beyond gorgeous. That new one is back, I see...I wonder if he's going to join the guard? Looks like he's already attached, though...  
_  
I tuned out the rest of her thoughts in disgust. I didn't need to read minds to know Felix's intentions. I wondered if Gianna would have been less confident had Jane given her own assessment aloud. Probably. But then again, hope springs eternal for some. Gianna was like a dark mirror of Bella, hoping for a soulless future. But at least Bella had chosen a more civilized group of monsters to want to join...

I pulled myself away from such thoughts. _Focus_.

Alec waited for us beyond the wooden doors. He came forward to meet us, smiling as he reached out to embrace his twin. "Jane."

"Alec," she responded, her reedy voice almost warm. They exchanged kisses on both cheeks in greeting—anyone would have thought she'd been away for weeks, rather than half an hour. Once they had parted, Alec turned to appraise us.

_Impressive...and unexpected._ "They send you out for one and you come back with two...and a half," he noted with a glance at Bella. Rage roiled within me at the indignity of his pronouncement, but of course, that was how they all thought of humans. "Nice work," he added, smiling. _Aro will be very, very pleased_.

Jane's answering laugh of delight did nothing to comfort me. Her thoughts were filled with adoration for her brother; this affection, at least, did not need to be enhanced by Chelsea's bonds. Alec and Jane were as close as any of the Volturi...had their bond not been so tainted by their vile natures, I might almost have called it love.

"Welcome back, Edward," Alec said with a nod toward me. "You seem in a better mood."

"Marginally," I told him, remembering the state of utter despair I'd been in the last time I'd been here. I saw Bella glance up at me.

Alec chuckled, studying her with a bemused expression. "And this is the cause of all the trouble?" he asked with a doubtful frown. _How very odd...I wonder what pull the human girl could possibly have for him...apart from the obvious._

I smiled contemptuously. Then I froze as I heard the tenor of Felix's thoughts.

"Dibs," he called casually from behind.

I turned to fix him with a murderous glare as a warning snarl began to build deep in my chest. Felix smiled. _Come on, then...I'd love to have some fun... _He beckoned me forward, his crimson eyes dancing with anticipation. _Isn't your little girlfriend worth a fight?_ I literally saw red as I glared at him, fighting for control.

I felt Alice's touch on my arm. "Patience," she cautioned me. I looked at her, and she held my gaze as unstable visions flickered across her mind—some of them pictures of violence, others of the two of us stumbling around, blinded by Alec's power, and still others of me writhing on the floor, being tortured by Jane as Bella's screams echoed from somewhere in the distance. I clenched my teeth. _Fighting isn't going to help, Edward_, Alice told me, her eyes boring into mine. _ We're in their power now, so please, get a grip on your temper; the last thing we want is to give them an excuse to act. We have to play along for now, that's the only way we're getting out of this. Felix isn't the one we have to worry about._

In her mind, I saw Aro's face, and then Caius's.

No, Felix wasn't the one we had to worry about. That didn't mean it was any easier to listen to him. I took a deep breath, shoving my anger into a corner of my mind as I turned back to Alec.

"Aro will be so pleased to see you again," he said in a calm voice, choosing not to comment aloud on what had just passed. _I wonder, though, which of them would win if it came to a fight. I'd have to stop them, of course. Aro wants them all alive, for now. I wonder if Jane had to teach them a lesson up there...probably not, she still looks unsatisfied, somehow.  
_  
I fervently hoped that Jane would remain 'unsatisfied'.

"Let's not keep him waiting," Jane suggested. She was impatient; she wanted to get her prizes to Aro. And there was something else...

I nodded once.

Jane took her brother's hand, and together they led the way down the wide, ornate hall. I reached out with my mind, searching for Aro's thoughts. To my surprise and chagrin, I found them in an unexpected place. I realized they were taking us to _that_ room. Halfway along the hall, Alec stopped to slide aside a piece of paneling and pull open the plain wooden door which was revealed, holding it open for his sister.

Of course, I should have realized where we were going from Alice's visions. But I hadn't been concentrating so much on the specific setting.

Every part of me rebelled at taking Bella into that place—that little tower room where so many humans had gone to their deaths. I told myself that this was different, that their plans for her were not the same. Still, I understood now that other thing that Jane was anticipating—that they were all anticipating, in fact. Heidi was scheduled to arrive soon, with a group of unsuspecting humans in tow.

They were getting ready to feed.

I kept Bella clutched close to my side as I pulled her through to the other side of the door.

The small stone antechamber opened quickly into a brighter, cavernous room, perfectly round. It was the interior of a castle turret, high above the unsuspecting city. I scanned the room quickly—it was the first time I'd seen it with my own eyes, though on my last visit it had featured prominently in the thoughts of the Volturi and their guard. The stone walls were barren, apart from some high, narrow windows, and the only pieces of furniture were the three massive wooden thrones which belonged to Aro, Caius, and Marcus. They were more props than anything else, symbols of their power; like all of our kind they never tired, and did not really need to sit. I tried not to look at the drain in the center of the room, and I fervently hoped that Bella wouldn't guess what it was for.

There was only one way in or out, unless I pulverized the wall itself...which I could certainly do, if it came to it. Of course, escape would still be impossible. A fair number of the guard were in attendance; they had been milling around, but paused in curiosity as they surveyed the newcomers. I focused only on Aro. His delight at seeing us was obvious...and beneath the facade, his greed.

"Jane, dear one, you've returned!" he cried in his soft, sighing voice.

I felt Bella tense as he drifted forward; I could see her widened eyes through the minds of those who faced us. I wondered what she thought of Aro's appearance—his clouded eyes...and his skin, so papery and thin, surely an obvious distinction even to human eyes.

He took Jane's face in his hands and placed a light kiss on her lips, then retreated a step. _What success! I knew I was right to send her—I could never trust Demetri and Felix with such a delicate task._

"Yes, Master." Jane's eyes sparkled as she smiled. _Yes, yes, yes! I knew it would please him!_ "I brought him back alive, just as you wished."

"Ah, Jane." He smiled back at her with genuine fondness. "You are such a comfort to me." _The best acquisition I ever made, you and your brother. It frightens me, sometimes, how much I rely upon you both._ He turned toward us then, his smile brightening enormously.

"And Alice and Bella, too!" he rejoiced with an eager clap of his thin hands. _So the human girl is not dead after all...I look forward to hearing _that_ tale!_ "This _is_ a happy surprise! Wonderful!" _More than I ever could have hoped for! Think of it, the possibilities! If I could but convince them to join us... Ah, but of course, you can hear me, can't you Edward? How thoughtless of me to forget, even for a moment. You would be such an asset to us, you know... But first things first...I must send for Caius and Marcus..._

He turned to Felix. "Felix, be a dear and tell my brothers about our company. I'm sure they wouldn't want to miss this." _Not that anyone would truly miss _their_ company, I suspect_, he mused as Felix acknowledged the order and left the room. _Caius dwells in such extremes, and Marcus...well, I suppose I can understand his indifference. But it _was_ a long time ago...  
_  
I knew what Marcus's problem was. He'd had a mate, once: Aro's biological sister, Didyme. But Didyme had been killed, under circumstances which I gathered had been suspicious at best. Though Aro was very careful with his thoughts, I had an inkling that he'd had something to do with it. I could not fathom what his motive might have been, unless the strength of Marcus and Didyme's bond had interfered with their loyalty to the Volturi. In any case, Marcus had been left an empty shell of a man; Chelsea's gift had been all too useful in keeping him a part of their coven. I wondered how Marcus would have reacted to his loss, if not for her cohesive influence. Would _he_ have been the one to rip aside his clothing and step into the sunlight, hoping his brothers would grant him death?

"You see, Edward?" Aro chided. His smile held a fondness that had a great deal to do with how he coveted my talent. "What did I tell you? Aren't you glad that I didn't give you what you wanted yesterday?"

That much, I could say ardently and without question. "Yes, Aro, I am." I drew Bella even closer to my side as I spoke.

"I love a happy ending." Aro sighed. "They are so rare. But I want the whole story. How did this happen? Alice?" He turned to look at her, his greedy eyes teeming with curiosity. "Your brother seemed to think you infallible, but apparently there was some mistake."

"Oh, I'm far from infallible," she assured him, flashing a smile. She was working hard to maintain a casual facade; the only thing which betrayed her were her hands, balled into fists at her side. "As you can see today, I cause problems as often as I cure them." _I'm not the only one who does that, of course. Certain all-knowing mind readers can be pretty darn thickheaded at times...  
_  
"You're too modest," Aro admonished with a slight shake of his head. "I've seen some of your more amazing exploits, and I must admit I've never observed anything like your talent. Wonderful!" _Ah, yes, such a powerful addition she would make! I wonder if she could be persuaded to join us..._

Alice's eyes flickered to mine. _He's seen some of my exploits? Carlisle did say he had some sort of mind reading power... _I saw the visions wavering in her mind. _Hmm...is he thinking what I think he's thinking? Blink once if I'm right._

I blinked once.

_Huh. I'd like to see them try. But I think there might be a way out of this...just a few more decisions so I can see clearly...  
_  
Aro had not missed our exchange.

"I'm sorry, we haven't been introduced properly at all, have we?" he said apologetically. "It's just that I feel like I know you already, and I tend to get ahead of myself. Your brother introduced us yesterday, in a peculiar way. You see, I share some of your brother's talent, only I am limited in a way that he is not." He shook his head, his thoughts full of envy.

"And also exponentially more powerful," I added dryly. I really did believe it. After all, those who understood my power could at least try to hide their thoughts, lie to me in their own minds. With Aro, such a thing was impossible. He saw everything. I met Alice's gaze as I explained. "Aro needs physical contact to hear your thoughts, but he hears much more than I do. You know I can only hear what's passing through your head at the moment. Aro hears every thought your mind has ever had."

Alice raised her delicate eyebrows, her golden gaze fixed on mine. _Every thought? So...if he touches one of us now, every half-formed plan we've come up with to get out of this...he'll know all of that? _I inclined my head. _Wonderful. And he sees everything we've ever experienced—every conversation, every private moment you've ever shared with Bella...or I with Jasper...every kiss, every touch?_ _Sheesh, and Em thinks you and I are voyeurs! _

It did make me feel a little sick that Aro was so intimately acquainted with my love life. But at least I didn't think he dwelled on that part too much. Well, I could hope.

"But to be able to hear from a distance..." Aro sighed with a wistful gesture toward the two of us, and the exchange that had just taken place. "That would be so _convenient_." _Truly, Edward, you don't know how powerful your gift is. To be able to know the thoughts of everyone in this room...to be able to flit from mind to mind as easily as a hummingbird flits from flower to flower!  
_  
And I _was_ flitting about, albeit with only part of my attention. I was trying to pick their brains for a way out of this...but most proved uncooperative. They were all vaguely excited, anticipating the coming bloodbath which they euphemistically called a 'feast'. But mostly they were focused on our conversation with Aro.

I noted that one of the females—Renata—never strayed too far from Aro's side, and was concentrating on him even more than the rest of them were. She was Aro's personal bodyguard, and a talented one at that. She was what they called a 'shield', because she possessed the ability to divert any attacker away from the object of her protection. I knew that if I tried to attack Aro now, I would suddenly find myself heading in the wrong direction, muddled by her power. But that wasn't really important, because attacking Aro wouldn't get me anywhere, even if Alec, Jane, and the others didn't stop me before I even got close. Fighting was not an option; the only thing we could do was to try and talk our way out of this.

I continued to scan the others, but found little of use. My best lead was still Demetri and the potential weakness in his talent...and even that I could not be certain of (and in any case, it did us little good at the moment). And now I could hear more minds approaching...

Quiet footsteps sounded from the hall, and we all turned to look. Felix had returned with Caius and Marcus.

"Marcus, Caius, look!" Aro crooned. "Bella is alive after all, and Alice is here with her! Isn't that wonderful?"

_'Wonderful.' Hah. Ever the fool, Aro, ever the fool. What is so wonderful about any of them? I don't trust them. No one should ever trust their kind—deviants, every one! And imagine falling in love with a _human_...ugh! And it would sully us to have any of them join our coven, so don't even _think_ about it. But of course you _are_ thinking about it, aren't you. You are a fool, Aro, an utter fool for letting this play out._

It was clear that Caius's attitude toward me had not softened since I'd last seen him last.

_Ah...I see. Interesting, I suppose. Sigh. Surprisingly strong connection between them. Hmm. Never seen its like in three thousand years, in fact. I suppose Aro will want to hear about this. He always does. Sigh._

And Marcus had apparently found no new lease on life, either. Not that I had expected him to. I found that I pitied him, in a way. I knew exactly what he had gone through, after all...only _my_ ending, at least, now had some chance of being a happy one.

It was interesting, seeing our connection through his eyes. The best way to describe it would be as a glow which seemed to envelop us. To a lesser extent it extended over to Alice as well—the three of us were the brightest thing in the room to him, far outshining the lesser glow which hovered between Alec and Jane—but clearly the strongest part of the bond was between Bella and myself. Not that I needed Marcus's gift to know the way I felt, but it was still something to see it in such a way.

"Let us have the story," Aro crooned, almost quivering with anticipation. _Come on, Marcus, can't you move any faster than that? I know you're bored out of your wits, but you must have _something_ to tell me. I can almost see their bond with _my_ eyes—I certainly felt it in Edward's mind, tainted as it was by the pain...  
_  
Caius drifted away, still grumbling in his thoughts as he headed for his wooden throne. Marcus paused beside Aro, reaching out to touch his palm briefly. I felt the rush of thoughts pass between them. Aro raised one black brow.

_Ah! So very interesting indeed!_ He was both confounded and delighted with what Marcus had to tell him. I tried not to think about why that bothered me. _So very, very interesting. _Really_, Marcus...you find a bond which is stronger than anything you've ever seen before, and you're still bored out of your mind, aren't you. What _am_ I going to do with you, old friend? Ah, but the _strength_ of it—for a bond between a human and an immortal to be so strong...stronger even than any mated pair of of immortals that Marcus has encountered! I would never have believed this possible! For one of our kind to feel this way about a human...and for a human to feel the same about him, knowing what he is! I can scarcely believe it!_ _And her blood is such a beautiful temptation to him...most of us would have succumbed by now, surely! Such a waste!  
_  
I snorted very quietly.

_What?_ Alice asked silently, looking at me._ What did Marcus tell him? He looks like he's been hit over the head with an anvil..._

"Thank you, Marcus," Aro said aloud. "That's quite interesting." _An understatement to end all understatements! If only every day were as delightful as this!_

Marcus had drifted over to join Caius, who continued to glare at us balefully. Bella was watching them with a fearful fascination in her eyes. I wished I could know what she was thinking. Any _ordinary_ human would have fainted by now.

Aro shook his head. "Amazing. Absolutely amazing."

Alice was frustrated. What_ is amazing? Don't keep me in the dark here!_

I turned to explain to both her and Bella. "Marcus sees relationships. He's surprised by the intensity of ours."

_Surprised? Huh. I'd like to see him on a normal day.  
_

I met Bella's eyes for a moment; she stared back at me, her expression oddly blank. I wished I could hear what she was thinking.

I turned back to see Aro smiling at us. "So convenient," he repeated to himself, before addressing us again. "It takes quite a bit to surprise Marcus, I can assure you."

_I can believe that_, Alice added.

"It's just so difficult to understand, even now," Aro mused. His milky eyes were fixed upon my arm, still wrapped around Bella's waist. _Your singer...the call must be nearly irresistible._ "How can you stand so close to her like that?"

"It's not without effort," I answered. But as I said the words, I realized that it was taking far less effort than normal. I took half a second to contemplate this. I remembered how it had felt when I had inhaled her scent back in the alley—painful as ever, yes, but there had been no instinct for me to fight, no monster inside of me ready to take her life if I let down my guard. At the time, I had thought it was because we were both dead and in heaven (hah! heaven indeed!), where the monster could not follow.

But we _weren't_ dead, and it didn't make sense, really. We had been apart for so long...more than long enough for me to lose any desensitization I'd had to her scent. And I was thirsty, probably more so than at any other time in my life. I had been denying myself for nearly two months prior to Rosalie's phone call, in the hope that a different kind of suffering might help to take my mind off of Bella. I had been wrong, of course—nothing had been strong enough to do _that_.

Standing so close to her now, inhaling her sweet scent, I could still feel the familiar burn in my throat. But nothing more. No monster waiting in the wings for me to make a mistake, no instinct to sink my teeth into her flesh. Nothing. It was as if my very being recoiled from wanting to hurt her. It could be just the stress of our current situation, I supposed. But what if it was something more? What if the thought of her loss had somehow cured me of this? Perhaps even my very instincts had been changed by that experience—just as my whole outlook had changed. The thought heartened me somewhat.

But there was no need for Aro to know any of this, of course. Unless he decided that he needed to share my thoughts again...

"But still," he was saying, "_la tua cantante!_ What a waste!"

It would seem that way to him. I almost pitied him; if he lived another three thousand years, if he spent all of that time studying my memories, I doubted he would ever understand the true power of what Bella meant to me. I huffed a humorless chuckle.

"I look at it more as a price." It was still true, though the burn in my throat was such a tiny price compared to what the monster had been. I almost laughed again.

Aro narrowed his eyes, skeptical. "A very high price."

"Opportunity cost," I said softly.

Aro laughed. _Ah Edward, it is good to see that your dry wit has not deserted you entirely._ "If I hadn't smelled her through your memories, I wouldn't have believed the call of anyone's blood could be so strong. I've never felt anything like it myself. Most of us would trade much for such a gift, and yet you..."

"Waste it," I finished, unable to keep the sarcasm from my voice.

Aro laughed again. "Ah, how I miss my friend Carlisle!" Memories flashed past of the many debates they'd had on the merits of human versus animal blood, on the morality of taking human life... I had seen these discussions before, of course, but from Carlisle's perspective. "You remind me of him," Aro mused, "only he was not so angry."

"Carlisle outshines me in many other ways as well." In just about every way imaginable, in fact.

"I certainly never thought to see Carlisle bested for self-control of all things, but you put him to shame."

"Hardly." I could hear the impatience in my voice. Self-control was hardly my strength—couldn't he see that? So many times I had put Bella in danger, unable to help myself—of course, even when I tried to take my cursed shadows out of her life, it still caused her harm! But to compare me with Carlisle, to say that I bested him in any way, let alone _that_ way... He had more self-control than any vampire I knew of, able to work around human blood without difficulty or even discomfort. It had taken him centuries to perfect it, and I was nowhere near as disciplined. I wasn't sure I ever would be.

_He's right, you know_, came Alice's calm thoughts from Bella's other side. _Most of our kind would never have been able to be as close to Bella as you've been, particularly not with the draw her blood is for you. You don't give yourself enough credit, you really don't. _

I tried to ignore her.

"I am gratified by his success," Aro mused, his thoughts still focused upon Carlisle. "Your memories of him are quite a gift for me, though they astonish me exceedingly. I am surprised by how it..._pleases_ me, his success in this unorthodox path he's chosen. I expected that he would waste, weaken with time. I'd scoffed at his plan to find others who would share his peculiar vision. Yet, somehow, I'm happy to be wrong."

I didn't reply. It was clear that he _was_ pleased with Carlisle's success. Aro was always fascinated by anything new to add to his histories, even if it was something he considered an oddity. But there was something else as well when he thought of our coven...a touch of unease, or perhaps fear? I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"But _your_ restraint!" Aro sighed in admiration. "I did not know such strength was possible. To inure yourself against such a siren call, not just once but again and again—if I had not felt it myself, I would not have believed."

I was careful to keep my expression neutral, but I could feel it coming, one of the things I'd been dreading about this meeting. His curiosity was insatiable—like me, he relied upon knowing the thoughts of others, and the nagging frustration I could feel from him was all too familiar to me. He would not be satisfied until he had tried to read Bella's thoughts.

I wondered if he would be able to. And what his reaction would be if he could not.

"Just remembering how she appeals to you..." Aro chuckled, momentarily distracted. "It makes me thirsty."

I tensed, for I could feel the truth of his words. Actually, they were all thirsty. These ancients did not deny themselves for weeks at a time as my family did, but it had been a few days since their last meal...and of course, Bella smelled sweet enough to all of them. And at this moment, with my stolen memories swirling in his head, Aro's thirst _was_ the greatest...

"Don't be disturbed," Aro reassured me when he saw my reaction. "I mean her no harm." _Truly, Edward, relax. Do you think I would destroy her now, fascinating as she is? Knowing how it would hurt you? I assure you, she is perfectly safe._ Despite his assurances, the way he looked at her made my skin crawl. "But I am _so_ curious," he said aloud, "about one thing in particular. May I?" he asked me eagerly, holding out his hand in Bella's direction.

"Ask _her_." I could not give permission for such a thing. It was her choice whether to accept, knowing what he could do. Not that any of us had much of a choice about anything at the moment...but I was determined to leave it to her, in any case. Besides, it irked me how they all talked over her, like she was a lesser being.

"Of course, how rude of me!" Aro exclaimed, pulling his hands in to his chest. Looking suitably contrite, he addressed her directly. "Bella, I'm fascinated that you are the one exception to Edward's impressive talent—so very interesting that such a thing should occur! And I was wondering, since our talents are similar in many ways, if you would be so kind as to allow me to try—to see if you are an exception for _me_, as well?"

Bella glanced up at me, looking terrified. Again, I wanted to comfort her, to tell her that everything would be all right. I hated the thought of Aro touching her, even if she confounded his efforts to read her mind. But I could see that he had no intention of hurting her...and there really wasn't any choice. I gave her a nod of encouragement.

She turned to hold out a trembling hand to Aro. I tightened my hold on her ever so slightly. It was tearing me apart that I couldn't protect her from this...

Aro came slowly forward—his gentle smile was meant to be reassuring, but I doubted Bella saw it that way. Could she see the greed that lurked there, ever-present, never quite satisfied? And the confidence...his very being exuded it. He did not expect to be thwarted—no one, human or vampire, had ever blocked him before. He thought his gift stronger than mine, in this respect at least.

There was a very small part of me, loath though I was to admit it, that hoped he was right...for if he could see into her mind, I would be able to glimpse her thoughts as well, as they passed through him. But the very thought of him _knowing_ her in that way repulsed me. And I knew how she valued the privacy of her thoughts. My own petty curiosity was not worth violating that.

I tried to listen to Alice, to see what would happen. But she was deep in concentration at the moment, trying to see further into the near future. Did that mean she was certain that this wouldn't be a problem?

Aro reached out to take Bella's hand, and I felt her give a minute shudder. He smiled down at her, his filmy eyes full of greed and anticipation, and it took everything I had not to yank her away from his touch.

* * *

**A/N: Had to end it there, before it got too long! Please take a moment to review, I'd love some feedback. Chapter 3 should be up soon!**


	3. Chapter 3: Dealing with the Devil

**Disclaimer: As always, Stephenie Meyer owns this material; I'm just playing with it a little. No infringement is intended. **

**A/N: Thank you to those of you who took the time to review! Here's the next installment...**

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* * *

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_Aro reached out to take Bella's hand, and I felt her give a minute shudder. He smiled down at her, his filmy eyes full of greed and anticipation, and it took everything I had not to yank her away from his touch._

**Chapter 3: Dealing with the Devil**

_Hmm. Odd. It is as though there's nothing..._ I felt him concentrating harder...harder than he'd ever had to before. His confidence faded slowly into confusion and doubt. _Surely not...I've never... _ He redoubled his efforts, but was no more successful. He stared at her, incredulous. _Impossible..._impossible_...what sort of creature _is_ she, who can deny me so? Remarkable..._ He managed, with some effort, to recompose his expression.

"So very interesting," he said in an indifferent tone, releasing her hand. He drifted back from her, trying to hide the depth of his amazement from the others. In truth, he was quite dazed. _Remarkable creature...simply remarkable...  
_  
Bella's eyes flickered to my face. I could not help but feel a little smug that she had managed to deny him as well as she could me. And if her thoughts were hidden from both of us, then surely she was immune to Demetri's talent as well...

_Edward,_ Alice warned me silently, _don't do anything rash._ She sounded almost pained. _Please, Edward, promise me... _She was keeping her thoughts controlled, hiding something from me. A vision? I had been so focused on Aro I must have missed it. Panic began to build within me. What did she mean, _don't do anything rash_? What was about to happen that had her so worried?

Aro drifted about, still lost in his ruminations. _Such a rarity, to come across a human with such an ability. Perhaps a defect in her mind? But she is intelligent enough—I can see that from Edward's memories. Why then, can neither of us hear her? _He paused in his meanderings, and his gaze darted between Alice, Bella, and myself, finally settling on Bella again. _Alice can see her well enough...and her mate Jasper can affect her moods. Something exclusive to the mind, then. Hmm. What an interesting phenomenon. I wonder..._ I caught a glimpse of something unsettling in his mind. _One more little experiment, perhaps... _He shook his head, his decision made, and his thoughts flickered to Jane's angelic face.

_Edward, don't..._ Alice warned again, as the near future solidified into a painful picture.

"A first," Aro mused. "I wonder if she is immune to our other talents...Jane, dear?"

"No!" I snarled, and Alice's slender fingers were suddenly viselike on my arm. _No Edward, don't! You'll only get yourself hurt—besides, I don't think Jane can touch her any more than you or Aro can!  
_  
She didn't _think?_ That wasn't good enough for me. I shook her off.

Jane smiled up at Aro, her eyes sparkling; she was eager to test her own power against Bella. "Yes Master?" she breathed. _Yes, let me, Master! I will show the human girl her place...she won't be able to resist _my_ power, if you just let me try..._

I would not allow it.

I glared at Aro with murder in my eyes as I began to snarl in earnest. I couldn't help it. I was seeing red again. All rationality had left me, and the urge to fight, to protect Bella, was overriding my more sensible thoughts. I was vaguely aware that the room had gone very still, and stunned thoughts assaulted me from all sides. I didn't care. I was not going to let Jane hurt Bella.

_Looks like I'll get my chance at the fool after all..._ Felix took an eager step forward, but Aro stopped him with a glance before turning back to Jane.

"I was wondering, my dear one, if Bella is immune to _you_." _Now Edward, just let Jane have her chance. I promise it won't be for long, even if she does manage to get through. I am not a sadist after all._

I had my own opinion about that. But whether he was or not, _Jane_ certainly was. My warning growls only increased in intensity as I let go of Bella and placed myself between her and Jane.

_Edward._ Alice again. _Edward, really, this isn't going to help. Even if you block her, she'll just take you down, and then move on to Bella anyway. There's nothing you can do to stop it...so please, calm down...  
_  
I was too far gone to listen to her. Caius had drifted over to watch, his bodyguards hovering nervously behind him. _This should be interesting...it looks as though Jane will get to play with _someone_ today, even if the girl is somehow immune..._that_ ought to make her day._

Jane turned toward us, a demon in angel's clothing.

"Don't!" Alice cried aloud as I sprang for Jane's throat.

And then I was on the floor.

The pain ripped through me like fire, as if every part of my body was being torched in a white-hot blaze. It was beyond agony, beyond anything I had felt since my initial transformation, when I had begged Carlisle for death to end the fiery torture...in fact, it was very like that transformational burning had been.

And through it all, I could hear Jane's thoughts—her wordless ecstasy as she tortured me, as she watched me suffer. There was nothing which gave her more pleasure than to watch one of her victims writhing helplessly on the floor, ensnared in her burning power...

And yet, I realized that I had known a worse kind of pain—when I had believed that Bella was dead. This agony was nothing compared to that. That knowledge alone made it bearable, gave me the strength to keep my mouth clamped shut as I writhed on the floor, keeping the screams from leaving my throat. I could not give Jane the satisfaction...and I could not hurt Bella. I knew what the sight of my suffering would be doing to her—at least let me keep the sound at bay! _For her, for her...I will endure this for her..._ I clung desperately to that thought as the fire ripped through me...

"Stop!" I heard her shriek as if from a great distance away. Everything was a confused jumble, dwarfed by the scorching pain that washed in waves over my entire body. How much longer could it last? I must surely be ashes by now. It felt like I would die from the agony as I cringed against the stones...

"Jane," came Aro's distant voice.

Suddenly, the pain was gone. At first I was too stunned to move. It took me a moment to realize that Jane had released me, and looked away in some other direction...

"He's fine," I heard Alice whisper as I sat up. I realized she was talking to Bella.

_Bella!  
_  
I sprang to my feet, my eyes darting to Bella's in horror. She stared back at me, her brown eyes full of anguish, and for one terrible moment I thought Jane was hurting her. But no, I could see the pain was not for herself; she was still reacting to what Jane had done to me. I glanced at Jane—she was staring straight at Bella, but the smile had begun to fade from her face, giving way to a hate-filled glare as she redoubled her concentration. I looked back to Bella, who was obviously untouched, and I relaxed in relief as I realized that my angel had defeated the demon.

_How? _ _How is she doing this? I want to hurt her! I want to make her suffer! It's not fair—she's just a stupid, insignificant human! Even the most powerful vampires cannot resist my power! WHY CAN'T I MAKE HER SUFFER?  
_  
Bella shrank back into Alice's arms, as though afraid the pain was about to hit her. But I knew now that it would not. Jane was trying as hard as she could, and Bella hadn't felt a thing.

I flitted back to Bella's side and touched Alice's arm; she released Bella, and I drew her warmth close to my side. Alice folded her arms across her chest again, shaking her head slightly. _You see? I _told_ you...if you'd just listened to me you could have saved yourself all that suffering. Then again, when do you _ever_ listen to me?  
_  
For someone so tiny, she could be awfully annoying sometimes.

Aro started to laugh, his eyes sparkling as he regarded Bella. "Ha, ha, ha," he chuckled. "This is wonderful!"

Jane leaned forward into a slight crouch, hissing in frustration. _She can't be doing this! I hate her! I _hate_ her!_! I focused, ready to defend Bella if she acted on her impulse to spring.

"Don't be put out, dear one," Aro said to placate her, placing a restraining hand on her shoulder. He found the whole episode quite amusing, now that Jane had been thwarted as well. "She confounds us all."

Jane, on the other hand, did not find it amusing in the least. Her upper lip curled back over her teeth, her thoughts a wordless muddle of hatred as she glared at Bella. I found myself quite glad of Chelsea's influence at that moment.

"Ha, ha, ha," Aro chortled again. "You're very brave, Edward, to endure in silence. I asked Jane to do that to me once—just out of curiosity." He shook his head in admiration, even as he cringed inwardly at the memory.

I glared, disgusted.

"So what do we do with you now?" Aro sighed, his papery brow creasing into a frown.

I stiffened, and felt Alice do the same beside me. This was the part we'd been dreading, the trickiest part of this entire meeting. Our fate would be decided within the next few minutes, one way or the other. Alice's visions flickered between possibilities, and I focused on Aro and Caius, trying to read their intentions. I felt Bella begin to tremble against my side.

"I don't suppose there's any chance that you've changed your mind?" Aro asked me hopefully. "Your talent would be an excellent addition to our little company."

I hesitated. I could hear grumbling thoughts from both Felix and Jane, neither of whom relished that idea. The feeling was mutual. I focused on Aro, trying to see what he would do if I refused. Beside me, Alice was concentrating furiously.

_Please, do not dismiss the idea out of hand, Edward,_ Aro begged me silently. _I know you feel an aversion to us, but I think it would surprise you to learn how fulfilling it can be to serve as a member of the guard...if only you gave us a chance._

Right._  
_

I weighed each word before I spoke it, paying attention to both Aro's thoughts and Alice's wavering visions. "I'd...rather...not." Abruptly, Alice's visions snapped into greater clarity, and I relaxed. A little. There was still Caius to worry about.

_Well, I suppose I did not expect anything else...a pity._ Aro turned to Alice, still hopeful. "Alice? Would you perhaps be interested in joining with us?" _But I suppose I already know the answer...alas..._

"No, thank you," Alice said, her thoughts serene. _This is going to work, Edward...this is going to work...  
_  
"And you, Bella?" Aro raised his eyebrows as he turned his enthralled gaze upon her. _So remarkable even as a mere human...what a fascinating immortal you would make..._

I hissed a warning at him, my anger building again. Bella stared at Aro with a blank expression—probably wondering if he was joking.

"What?" Caius demanded in a flat whisper, glaring at Aro. _What is the fool up to now?  
_  
"Caius, surely you see the potential," Aro chided. _Always so quick to dismiss everything out of hand; if you would but open your eyes, you would see so much more, my friend._ "I haven't seen a prospective talent so promising since we found Jane and Alec. Can you imagine the possibilities when she is one of us?"

Caius looked away, his mouth set in a bitter sneer. _He can't seem to help himself, the fool. The girl is not nearly as special as he seems to think...her brain is probably just defective in some way._

Felix shifted uncomfortably. _Please say no...please say no...you'll be _so_ much more fun as a human my pretty...for a few minutes, at least..._

I clenched my teeth.

Jane was just about beside herself with indignation. _He compares her to us? To _me_? Alec and I have powers which are feared throughout the vampire world, and he gets excited about a human who just happens to have a thick skull?_

_Edward_, Alice thought wearily, _I know you find it difficult, but _please_ try to keep ahold of yourself. I don't like seeing you hurt._

But I couldn't stop the low growl which had begun in my chest as I glared at Aro. Never. I would never allow them to take her. I would die first. There had to be a way out of this. Again, I scanned the thoughts in the room, looking for anything that might help us...

"No thank you," Bella told Aro in a broken whisper. I relaxed a little as I read his reaction.

Aro sighed, his disappointment profound. "That's unfortunate. Such a waste." And this time, he was not talking about the sweetness of her blood.

I saw Caius about to speak, and decided to preempt his logic. I could not let this get out of hand. I hissed again, and chose my words with great care as I addressed Aro. "Join or die, is that it? I suspected as much when we were brought to _this_ room. So much for your laws."

"Of course not." Aro blinked, astonished by my outburst. _Really, Edward, how could you think such a thing of me?_ "We were already convened here, Edward, awaiting Heidi's return. Not for you."

I had known that already, of course, just as I knew that Caius's train of thought ran somewhat differently to Aro's.

"Aro," Caius hissed. "The law claims them." _The girl is a liability, that much is clear. If she does not join us, she must be disposed of._

"How so?" I demanded, glaring at him. I was determined to make him speak his thoughts aloud, knowing that Aro would not be happy with his line of reasoning. I knew I would never convince Caius to show leniency; his thoughts were set. But the other two were another matter. Marcus remained seated along the wall, utterly bored by the whole proceeding—I doubted he'd even payed much attention to Jane torturing me on the floor. But I could tell that he didn't see Bella as a threat. I suspected he wouldn't have particularly cared even if he'd thought she _was_ a threat. If I could just convince Aro, he would go along, and Caius would be outnumbered.

In answer to my question, Caius pointed an accusatory finger at Bella. "She knows too much. You have exposed our secrets."

"There are a few humans in on your charade here, as well," I pointed out. But I knew he would have an answer for that.

Caius's face twisted into a cruel smile. _Ah yes, the ones we're saving for dessert, you mean._ I bit back my rage at his thoughts.

"Yes," he agreed aloud. "But when they are no longer useful to us, they will serve to sustain us. That is not your plan for this one. If she betrays our secrets, are you prepared to destroy her? I think not."

"I wouldn't—" Bella whispered, her eyes pleading, but she broke off when Caius turned his icy glare on her. I wanted to kill him. Of course Bella wouldn't say anything—she'd proven that time and time again over the months I'd known her. And who would believe her, even if she did?

"Nor do you intend to make her one of us," Caius continued. He knew that much from my previous visit. "Therefore, she is a vulnerability. Though it is true, for this, only _her_ life is forfeit. You may leave if you wish."

I bared my teeth.

"That's what I thought," Caius said, his thoughts sanguine.

Felix leaned forward, his eager eyes fixed on Bella. _Finally, time for some fun..._ I tensed, ready to defend against him.

"Unless..." Aro interrupted. As I had predicted, he was unhappy with the direction the conversation had taken. He raised his eyebrows at me, almost pleading. "Unless you do intend to give her immortality?"

Immortality. Such a benign term for it. I had different words in mind. Undeath. A cursed half-life. A damned existence. A soulless future.

I pursed my lips, and chose my words carefully. "And if I do?"

Aro smiled in relief. "Why, then you would be free to go home and give my regards to my friend Carlisle." He paused, the relief gone from his face. _Of course, it is not quite as simple as that, is it?_ "But I'm afraid you would have to mean it."

He held out his hand toward me.

Caius relaxed, his furious scowl melting back into a confident smile. _Ah yes, we have you now...just try wriggle out of this one...  
_  
I pressed my lips together as I met Bella's eyes.

"Mean it," she whispered, her eyes imploring. "Please."

When she had asked me before, it had always been because it was what she really wanted...or _thought_ she wanted, at least. But what about now? Did she want me to mean it because she still felt the same way? Or was it fear which drove her now? The possibilities tormented me as I stared down at her, wishing once again that I could see her thoughts, see what she really meant.

But even if she _did_ still want this, how could I give it to her? How could I take away her soul, condemn her to an eternity of damnation? Was death preferable to that? I had once thought so. But death like this? So immediate, her life taken so young, before she'd had a chance to live it? Could I condemn her to that—was that truly preferable to becoming one of us?

Could I mean it when I said I would change her?

Of course, that was not the only reason I did not want to take Aro's hand. I didn't want him to see the half-formed plans in my head about hiding Bella from them. Now that I knew she was immune to both Aro and Jane, I was even more certain that she was immune to Demetri's talent as well. Even if I could somehow force myself to mean it when I said I'd change Bella, Aro would not want to chance it, not once he shared my suspicions about Demetri. He relied on his talent almost as much as those of Alec and Jane.

As the tortured arguments continued to whirl in my mind, Bella stared back up at me, her eyes full of an anguish I did not understand...

I heard a slight rustle to the side, and tore my eyes away from Bella's to see Alice step calmly forward. Her hand was raised as she approached Aro.

_No._ I could see what she was about to tell him—of course, she was about to tell him everything she knew, but her thoughts were focused on one thing in particular. A conversation she'd had with Bella on the plane... My eyes narrowed just a little.

Several members of the guard made to prevent Alice from reaching Aro, but he waved them aside impatiently. He moved forward to meet her, reaching for her hand eagerly. He was suddenly focused as much on Alice herself as on the information she had for him, all too eager to get a first-hand glimpse of her unique power.

Aro gave himself over completely to the transfer; he closed his eyes as he bent his head over their touching hands, concentrating hard. I concentrated as well, reading Alice's thoughts as they passed between them. Alice had become a tiny statue, her face blank as she lost herself in her latest vision: Bella, cold and pale, her eyes the fiery red of a newborn vampire, putting a tentative hand to her cheek as she stared at her own reflection in a large mirror. I did not recognize the vision specifically; it was a different one than those Alice had shown me before. A new one. I clenched my teeth, fighting to hold back a new snarl.

I could see it all now. On the plane, Alice had as good as promised Bella to change her herself. I wasn't having that! It was absurd! Alice probably didn't even have the restraint for such a thing, and even had the very idea of taking Bella's life away from her not been repulsive to me, I would never have allowed _Alice_ to be the one to do it. I'd rather do it myself...or at least ask Carlisle—who had proven himself capable of it before, after all. No, no no! I wouldn't even consider this. There must be a way to get around it!

And then I tried to force myself to stop thinking about it, just in case Aro decided he needed to check _my_ thoughts after all.

Let him see Alice's misguided intentions. Let him see her subjective visions. It didn't change a thing.

Aro remained frozen over Alice's hand as the seconds passed and he delved further into her mind. I tried to keep my temper under control. I told myself that this was the only way we would get out of here today, and tried to be grateful for what Alice was doing. I could hear Caius fuming in the background, clearly unhappy with the way things were going.

"Ha, ha, ha," Aro laughed suddenly, still bent over their joined hands. His eyes danced with excitement as he looked up into Alice's face. "That was _fascinating_!"

He wanted her. More than anything else, he wanted her.

Alice smiled dryly as he released her hand. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"To see the things you've seen—especially the ones that haven't happened yet!" He shook his head, a dazed look in his eyes. _I _must_ have her...I simply must...think of the potential, if she were to join us!  
_  
"But that will," she said, confident and serene. I wondered if she had any idea how much he coveted her now.

"Yes, yes, it's quite determined. Certainly there's no problem." _The girl will be one of us soon enough, and perhaps one day...ah, the possibilities!_ In his mind, I saw a sickening image of all three of us—Alice, Bella, and myself—standing at his side, cloaked in dark gray; our faces were expressionless, our eyes a vivid ruby. It was not one of Alice's visions, only a product of Aro's own wistful imagination...but that made it no less chilling.

"Aro," Caius complained, bitterly disappointed with the way things had turned out. _Fool...fool...fool...why does his sense of whimsy always have to interfere with the course of justice? Fool.  
_  
"Dear Caius," Aro smiled. "Do not fret. Think of the possibilities! They do not join us today, but we can always hope for the future." _Indeed, we can hope!_ "Imagine the joy young Alice alone would bring to our little household... Besides, I'm so terribly curious to see how Bella turns out!" _Such a remarkable creature...surely she will be a talented one, just like her mate! Oh, how I wish Eleazar were still with us...he would be able to tell me so much more!  
_  
I felt Bella slump a little against my side, her face turned downward. Was it in reaction to Aro's last pronouncement? _Had_ she seen sense and changed her mind at last? Regardless, I had to get her out of here as soon as possible.

"Then we are free to go now?" I asked, already certain of the answer. Aro was patient; he would be content to let us go...for now.

"Yes, yes," Aro said pleasantly. "But please visit again. It's been absolutely enthralling!" _Such a fascinating coven!_ But again, I felt that flicker of unease run through him. He _was_ fascinated by our family...but he was also just a little afraid. _So much talent concentrated in one place...Edward, Alice and her mate...and perhaps Bella as well... Yes...so very...talented...  
_  
"And we will visit you as well," Caius promised, gazing at me through half-closed eyes. "To be sure that you follow through on your side. Were I you, I would not delay too long. We do not offer second chances." _I almost hope that they _do_ delay too long...if you ask me, that entire coven would be better off in burning pieces. I don't know _what_ Aro sees in them.  
_  
My jaw tightened, but it was easier to give him my nod of acquiescence, knowing that there were ways around his pronouncement.

Caius smirked as he drifted back to his throne. Marcus still hadn't stirred at all, and though I was certain he'd taken in every word, he didn't seem to care much one way or the other. _So this is what centuries of being alone does to a man_, I thought dryly.

Felix let out a groan. _I can't believe it...I was _so_ looking forward to killing him. And the _girl..._ah, the girl...  
_  
"Ah, Felix." Aro gave him a knowing smile, amused by his henchman's obvious disappointment. "Heidi will be here at any moment. Patience."

_Uh-oh_, came Alice's thoughts, urgent. I caught a flicker of a highly unpleasant vision, and I saw her cringe slightly. _I think now might be a good time to leave...  
_  
"Hmm." I reached out with my mind to the corridor and beyond. They were close. Damn. I didn't want Bella to see this. Hell, _I_ didn't want to see this. "In that case, perhaps we'd better leave sooner rather than later," I said, my voice low but hard. It would be exceedingly dangerous for her to be there when they started to... I swallowed, unable to finish the thought.

"Yes," Aro nodded, suddenly serious. "That's a good idea. Accidents _do_ happen. Please wait below until after dark, though, if you don't mind."

"Of course," I said quietly, feeling Bella cringe again into my side. Did she understand what was coming?

"And here." Aro motioned Felix forward. Felix obeyed at once, though he was still grumbling in his thoughts. He stiffened in surprise when Aro reached up to remove his cloak and toss it to me. "Take this. You're a little conspicuous."

I had to admit that he had a point. I threw the long cloak around my shoulders, though I left the hood down; Felix's scent clung to it, a mild annoyance that I would gladly put up with if it got us out of this place. Felix himself gritted his teeth, silently fuming over the indignity of having to surrender his cloak to me.

Aro sighed. "It suits you." _If you ever reconsider, Edward, you know where to find us..._

I had to chuckle at the wistfulness of both his voice and his thoughts, but I broke off suddenly as a sound made me glance toward the door. I could hear them coming now—their voices, their footsteps, their beating hearts... A large group of them, all with no idea of their impending fate. "Thank you, Aro. We'll wait below."

"Goodbye, young friends," Aro crooned, his eyes bright as he too stared toward the approaching humans. He inhaled delicately; their scent had already begun to waft ahead of them into the room. _Ah, this is good. I didn't realize just how thirsty I was until remembered Bella's scent in your thoughts, Edward. _

The excitement of the room as a whole grew with each second; they were all eager to satisfy their thirst.

"Let's go," I said to Bella. I couldn't let her see this. I kept my arm tight around her as we followed Demetri toward the door.

"Not fast enough," Alice muttered in chagrin. _Damn. Damn, damn, damn!_

I felt the same way. Bella stared at Alice with wide, frightened eyes, and then her head whipped around. She could hear the voices now. Coming closer...

"Well this is unusual," a man's voice boomed.

"So medieval," his wife gushed back, her voice unpleasantly shrill. _Oh, my sister would _love_ this. I'll have to recommend this tour group to her when I get back. And the rates are so reasonable, as well!_

Demetri motioned for us to make room as the large crowd began to file through the little door, and I had no choice but to press back against the wall with Bella, allowing them to pass. Beside us, Alice closed her eyes, her expression pained as she tried to distract herself from what was happening before us. I clutched Bella close to me, trying unsuccessfully to block out the rush of human thoughts that assaulted me in a number of different languages...all of which I knew, unfortunately.

_Amazing! Those medieval Italians sure did know how to build things, didn't they?_

_Well..this is...a little unsettling, actually. I wonder if they used to torture people in here?_

_Ooh, a throne room! That's what this is, right?_

_I don't understand...I thought she was taking us to a museum, but this doesn't look like any museum I've ever..._

_That tour guide...I wonder if she'd give me her number afterward? She sure is hot!_

_I don't like this. Who _are_ these people? It's like a Renaissance fair, only a lot creepier..._

_Please? Why won't anyone listen to me? I don't understand why we are here. There is something wrong here, I can feel it. __I need to get back to my family—they will be worried about me... __Please, sir? Please help me?_

Bella was staring at the small, dark woman whose thoughts I'd heard last. She gripped the cross of her rosary tightly in one hand as she walked haltingly forward, her eyes darting about uneasily. Every now and then she would reach out to touch one of the other tourists, asking a question in Indonesian; none of them understood her. She was a devout woman, and had traveled to Italy with her family to visit the heart of her church; Heidi had scooped her up along with a dozen others in Rome. She was a long way from home...a home she would never see again. Both her voice and her thoughts grew more panicked as the crowd jostled her forward...

Belatedly, I pulled Bella's face against my chest, wishing there was some way for me to save the little woman—to save them all. But there was nothing I could do for them; their fate was sealed. All I could do was get Bella out.

I pushed her toward the door as soon as the smallest break appeared in the jumble of doomed humanity. Her face was a mask of horror, and tears had begun to form in her eyes. She understood. I wished she hadn't.

We emerged into the relative quiet of the hallway to find a female vampire in our path: Heidi. She shifted to block my way when I tried to move around her. _Not so fast, handsome..._ I clenched my teeth to contain my snarl, knowing it would be the opposite of helpful. Heidi's curious eyes lingered on me for a moment before they moved on to Bella. _What have we here? I don't remember bringing this one in... Ah. She's with Edward. Does this mean that this is his little human girlfriend? Is she alive after all? Hmm. She smells quite delicious, actually._

"Welcome home, Heidi," Demetri purred from behind us. I was burning to get Bella further away from the room, but worried to push their patience. Heidi still blocked our way, unwilling to let us pass.

Heidi tossed him an absent smile. "Demetri," she responded in a silky voice. She glanced between Bella and me, taking in Felix's cloak. _Hmm. Does this mean he's joined us after all? No...that can't be it. Otherwise he'd be staying for dinner, wouldn't he? He certainly looks thirsty enough..._ She was dressed, as they say, to kill, in a way that most human males would find irresistible. Of course, she also possessed an extra degree of magnetism—that was _her_ talent. The blue contact lenses she wore disguised the crimson hue of her eyes, though the resulting color was far from natural.

I noticed that Demetri's eyes were roving appreciatively over her body; apparently, some non-human males were also affected by her charms. "Nice fishing," he complemented her. _You can catch _me_ any day, beautiful..._

She was not only the fisherman, but the bait as well.

_Edward, they're going to start any minute now..._ Alice cautioned me, her thoughts strained. I could hear the jumble of thoughts and voices behind us, though I tried very hard to tune them both out. The humans—most of them, at least—were not frightened yet. But I could see from Aro's thoughts that it would be very soon indeed.

"Thanks," Heidi said in answer to Demetri's compliment, flashing him a stunning smile. _Putty in my hands...it really is too easy..._ "Aren't you coming?"

"In a minute," he sighed. "Save a few for me." _I liked the smell of that brunette with the ponytail...Swiss, I think. Nice and sweet...probably Felix or someone else will get to her before I get back, though...sigh...  
_  
Heidi nodded and shot one more curious glance at Bella before she ducked through the door. _Oh well, guess I'll hear the full tale soon enough. For now, time for dinner..._

I started off as soon as our path was clear, walking so briskly that Bella had to run to keep up with my long strides. If we could only get through the double doors at the end of the hallway in time, maybe she wouldn't hear it when they started.

_Too late..._ Alice sighed in resignation.

I realized then that I should have simply picked Bella up so I could run with her. But Alice was right, it was too late. In the turret room behind us, dozens of thoughts turned first to confusion, then to terror.

A tiny whimper escaped Bella's throat when the screams began.

* * *

**A/N: I chose to give Alice a different vision than the one she sees in the movie. I wanted this to be a less positive sort of vision, because I think _part_ of what frightens Edward so much about turning her is the idea that she'll hate both her new life and him as a result. The vision from the movie made it obvious, to me at least, that she _was_ enjoying her new life (even if some people seem to think her husband runs like a girl), and that might have changed Edward's outlook a little, the whole 'lost soul' issue notwithstanding.  
**

**Anyway, don't forget to review!**


	4. Chapter 4: Heaven in Hell

**Disclaimer: The wonderful Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight; I do not. No infringement is intended.**

**A/N: Once again, a big thank you to those who took a moment to review!  
**

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* * *

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**Chapter 4: Heaven in Hell**

I did my best to block out the terrible images which came to me from that room; I was mostly successful. I tried to focus instead on my immediate surroundings—on the cheerful reception area with its bright, harmless music which belied the carnage that was happening only a short distance away.

"Do not leave until after dark," Demetri warned us. I nodded my compliance, and he hurried away, eager to join in the feast.

Gianna had looked up from her counter, and she eyed my cloak with appraising eyes. _So he _has_ joined them? That would be nice...he's so good-looking, even for one of them. I wouldn't mind having him around at all. I wonder why he's not taking part in the feast, though..._ I glared at her, wondering how she could possibly condone what was happening. I could find no hint of remorse in her thoughts...only faint excitement. She was enthralled with the vampire lifestyle, and even more enthralled by the vampires themselves.

I looked down at Bella, who was trembling against my side.

"Are you all right?" I asked anxiously, keeping my voice too low for Gianna to hear. She didn't answer, but the shaking grew stronger.

"You'd better make her sit before she falls," Alice said quietly. "She's going to pieces." _I'm feeling a little sick myself, actually...  
_  
Bella was shaking so badly now it almost seemed she was going into convulsions; her teeth began to chatter again. Only this time, it was not from the cold. Broken, ripping sobs escaped her as the tears flowed thickly from her eyes.

"Shh, Bella, shh," I tried to soothe her, pulling her to the sofa farthest away from Gianna's desk. I felt like I would die from the pain of seeing her like this. I should have just pushed past Heidi back there, instead of waiting—she would still have known what those unfortunate tourists had walked into, but at least then she wouldn't have had to listen to the screams.

"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her," Alice suggested in a low voice.

I threw a frantic glance at her. _Slap_ her? I couldn't...

_I'm pretty sure its more than just those...people. She hasn't slept more than an hour or two in the last two days, and to be honest, I don't think she'd been sleeping very well before that. It's everything, Edward, everything she's gone through. It's just...too much._

The guilt, already overwhelming, spiked again. It was my fault, all of it.

"It's all right, you're safe, it's all right." I murmured the words to her again and again as I pulled her onto my lap. _At least this cloak is good for something_, I thought dryly as I tucked the thick wool around her like a cocoon. If only I had been human, I could have cradled her against my bare chest, keeping her warm and comfortable her with my body heat. As it was, this was the best I could do. Alice perched on the sofa across from us, her eyes unfocused as she checked on the near future.

In my arms, Bella continued to shake with sobs. I held her tenderly, rocking her a little as I tried to soothe her.

"All those people," she sobbed after awhile. Yes, she understood perfectly.

"I know," I whispered. It was not easy to completely tune out what was happening in the other room, just a short distance away. It did help that I had something else to focus on, though.

"It's so horrible," she choked out, her voice breaking.

"Yes, it is," I said quietly, rubbing her back gently with my hand. "I wish you hadn't had to see that."

The tears were coming to a stop now; she rested her head against my chest and wiped her eyes on the cloak, inhaling deeply. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Alice tense, and she shot a glare past my shoulder. I didn't have to look into her mind to know the target of her ire, because I could hear Gianna's footsteps approaching—not to mention her silly, shallow thoughts. She wasn't really concerned about Bella, just curious.

"Is there anything I can get you?" Gianna as she leaned over my shoulder. Though her tone was polite, I tensed at her proximity. Her words struck a familiar chord, reminding me strongly of that obnoxious woman who had waited on us at the appropriately named _Bella Italia_ in Port Angeles. Her thoughts were running along the same lines as well...

"No," I told her coldly, in answer to all of the connotations of her question. I didn't want her near Bella any more than the rest of them; in her own way, she was just as much of a monster.

She was disappointed, but she nodded and gave Bella a polite smile before returning to her counter. _Well, it looks like he _is_ already attached. Pity, that. She's not that much to look at, though, not nearly as pretty as I am. I might still have a chance, if I play my cards right..._ I tuned out the rest of her thoughts in disgust.

Bella stared after Gianna with wary eyes, no longer crying. "Does she know what's going on here?"

"Yes. She knows everything." I could see from the turn of her mouth that it disgusted her as well.

Her eyes narrowed. "Does she know they're going to kill her someday?" she asked, no doubt remembering Caius's pronouncement about the humans who worked here.

"She knows it's a possibility," I said. She stared at me in surprise. "She's hoping they'll decide to keep her," I said carefully. I was very aware of Alice, unfocused again, but also half-listening to our conversation.

The blood drained from Bella's face as she stared at me in horror. "She wants to be one of them?" she whispered.

I nodded once, and watched as a shudder went through her.

"How can she want that?" she whispered, her eyes unfocused. "How can she watch those people file through to that hideous room and want to be a part of _that?"_

I didn't answer. Her words came back to me like an echo of my own thoughts, except that I had once wondered the same of Bella herself. I felt my expression twist as I gazed down at her. How _could_ she want to be one of us? Didn't she see what a curse it really was? The monsters we became? But at least she looked at Gianna and saw the same horror as I did.

_She knows the difference between wanting to be like us and wanting to be like them_, came Alice's quiet thoughts. _Sometimes, I wonder if _you_ see that difference as clearly._

I saw the difference; it was just that I saw what _we_ were as the lesser of two evils.

Bella's eyes softened as she gazed up at me, and a new gush of tears began to spill over.

"Oh, Edward," she sobbed.

"What's wrong?" I murmured, rubbing her back again as I looked down into her eyes. I couldn't stand to see her crying like this, particularly when I knew that whatever the immediate reason for it, every tear she shed was my fault.

She didn't answer at first—just threw her arms around my neck and pulled herself tight against me, burying her face in my chest. Her touch was electric, and despite the lingering peril of our situation, I felt a thrill that she still seemed to want me, after all I had done to her.

"Is it really sick for me to be happy right now?" she asked, her voice breaking twice.

_If it is, then we both must have something terminal._ I pulled her even closer to me—it still wasn't close enough—and whispered into her hair. "I know exactly what you mean. But we have lots of reasons to be happy." I pulled back just enough to look into her eyes. "For one, we're alive."

"Yes," she sniffed. "That's a good one."

"And together," I breathed, my dead heart singing with the word.

She just nodded, suddenly looking a little downcast. A feeling of unease shot through me. She _was_ happy about that part, right?

"And with any luck, we'll still be alive tomorrow," I said to distract myself.

"Hopefully," she said, the trepidation obvious in her voice.

"The outlook is quite good," Alice assured her. "I'll see Jasper in less than twenty-four hours." She smiled slightly as an image of her lover's face hovered in her mind. _Relax, Edward, we're all going to be fine. It's quite clear now._ I watched as a vision of the three of us boarding a flight to Rome played out in her mind, quite stable.

I couldn't keep my eyes off of Bella's face for long. I gazed at her tenderly, and she stared back at me. Now that the danger was past and I had the chance to really look at her, I saw things I had not had the luxury of dwelling on before. She was definitely thinner than she'd been before I'd left...and she looked exhausted. Her skin was even paler than usual, and she had dark circles under her eyes. If not for the gentle brown color of those eyes, she could almost have passed for a vampire.

I traced the dark circles with gentle fingertips. "You look so tired," I murmured. _So_ tired, in fact, that I was sure Alice had been right about her not sleeping well—surely this could not be the result of only one night's missed sleep.

"And you look thirsty," she whispered back as she gazed up at me, no doubt studying the purple shadows under my own thirst-darkened irises.

I shrugged. "It's nothing."

"Are you sure? I could sit with Alice," she offered, though I thought a bit unwillingly.

"Don't be ridiculous," I sighed. There was no way I was letting go of her now, not after so many months away from her. "I've never been in better control of _that_ side of my nature than right now." It was true. Her scent still scorched the back of my dry throat, but there was no instinct to have to hold in check. The monster was nowhere to be found, as if he had left me forever.

I did not lament the loss.

She looked as though she wanted to ask me something further, but for whatever reason decided to hold back. She lay quiet in my arms, her deep brown eyes roving over my face. I stared down at her, too, drinking in the sight of her while Alice and I discussed how to get home in low, quick voices.

"We'll have to steal another car, of course." _Oh, you should have seen that Porsche, Edward...even when we were desperately speeding to save your neck, I couldn't help but enjoy myself a little._ "We landed in Florence, and that's probably the best route out. We'll be able to catch a flight to Rome from there—I'll call ahead as soon as we're clear. And from there we should be able to snag a direct connection to the States. I hope you still have your passport, by the way—you didn't dump it or burn it or something else stupid, did you?"

"No, it's in my pants pocket, with my wallet."

"Good." _I didn't want to have to take her back on a plane while you swam home after us—you have _no idea_ what a fuss she would have made._

I wouldn't have been too happy about it myself.

Alice was quiet for a moment, her thoughts ranging back over our conversation with Aro. One part in particular had her puzzled. "What was all that talk about _singers_?"

_"La tua cantante_," I said softly, gazing down at Bella.

"Yes, that," Alice said. _You know I've taken Italian almost as many times as you, Edward—I _know_ its _literal_ meaning...but what did _he_ mean by it?_

I shrugged. "They have a name for someone who smells the way Bella does to me. They call her my _singer_—because her blood sings for me."

Alice laughed. _I suppose that's poetic, in a way. But then, everything about her sings for you, doesn't it?_

Yes. I brushed my lips against Bella's hair and inhaled deeply through my nose. Resisting the wine while enjoying the bouquet, as I'd once explained it to her. Only now, there was no dark instinct that I had to resist. Only her familiar scent, sweet and warm and burning...

"What about Carlisle and the others?" I asked Alice.

"We should call them too, but they're already on their way. They'll get there well before we do." I saw a flash of our family arriving in Seattle.

"You told them?"

"I talked to Jasper on the plane." _And I expect Rose had a tale of her own._ Anger blazed through me, but I didn't let it show. _Listen, I was furious with her too, no question. But it was a mistake, and she's sorry...she _claims_ she is, at least. And besides, things worked out all right in the end, didn't they?_

I supposed they had, to a point. I wished that Bella had never had to see this place, and even more that she had never come to the attention of Aro, Caius, and the rest. But despite all of that here we were, together once again. My beautiful Bella had traveled halfway around the world, had braved death itself to come to my rescue...and rescue me she had. What my own stubborn resolve had prevented, near-disaster had accomplished of its own accord, as if fate willed us to be together. I leaned down suddenly to press my lips to her forehead; her heartbeat accelerated, its sound seeming to fill the entire room. Together. I would never leave her again.

"We'll need to get you a shirt," Alice said, frowning as her eyes swept over the borrowed gray cloak. "You'll blend in well enough in _this_ city tonight, but anywhere else people will be staring." _Saint Marcus Day indeed...you sure do know how to make an entrance, don't you?_

"I'm sure you'll find me something suitable."

"Hmm..." I saw her concentrating on the vision she'd had of us at the airport. _Looks like Armani, maybe? You know, I just might have to do a little shopping for myself while I'm at it..._

"Alice..." I warned her in a low voice.

"What? You expect me not to take advantage while we're here?"

"I expect you to keep the purchases to within what our carry-on luggage can withstand," I murmured as I trailed my fingertips along Bella's jaw. "And to be honest, I don't exactly relish the idea of lingering in this country any longer than we have to."

"Neither do I," she sighed. _Don't worry Edward, I'll be quick. Just a shirt for you and maybe a nice little dress for Bella...and another for me..._

I rolled my eyes, but didn't see the point of further argument.

_I hope you have enough sense to do the right thing this time, Edward_, she thought seriously._ I don't think I could stand another six months like that_.

"You don't think _you_ could?" I asked her softly, raising my eyebrows.

_I didn't say you could either...but you might still be both stubborn and masochistic enough to try, knowing you...I just wanted to make sure. _

My lips twitched. "You mean you don't know the answer to that yourself?"

_I can only see what you've decided for the _moment_, as you well know. All I'm saying is you'd better not change your mind and pull another disappearing act, or I just might bite _your_ head off, dear brother...  
_  
"Don't worry, Alice," I murmured, still gazing at Bella's face.

Fortunately for me, there wasn't really a choice to agonize about, because what was right and what I wanted seemed to be more in line than ever before. I watched as Alice played a more complete version of her latest visit to Forks for my benefit—all the time, I kept my eyes on Bella's, and my conviction only grew stronger with each passing moment. I had wronged her in so many ways when I left...it staggered me. I would return, and I would make amends for as long as I had to—decades, if that was what it took. I would make her life right again, not by keeping myself away, but by being a part of it.

Looking down into her eyes, having her soft and warm and safe in my arms, I knew that even had what was right and my own needs been two different things, I would never have had the strength to leave her again. I leaned down to brush my lips against the tip of her nose, and smiled a little as her heart rate spiked again.

It was heaven—right smack in the middle of hell.

Alice retreated back into her visions for a spell while Bella and I continued in our mutual reverie. Time passed without seeming significant, until I heard quiet footsteps approaching the double doors. I drew Bella a little closer as Alice and I looked warily in that direction. I reached out to see who it was. Alec. Well, at least it wasn't Felix...or Jane. Still, Bella cringed into my chest as he entered the room.

"You're free to leave now," he told us warmly. His eyes were a vivid ruby from the afternoon meal; I tried not to think of the humans who had died to sustain him and the others. His thoughts were far from hostile toward us, though he was a little bemused. Like many of the others, he didn't quite understand Aro's insatiable fascination with us. "We ask that you don't linger in the city," he added.

"That won't be a problem," I answered him coldly. As if we'd linger in their cursed city any longer than we had to.

Alec gave us a smile and a nod, then retreated through the double doors. _I'll never understand it, I suppose...oh well...  
_  
Bella seemed stiff as she tried to get up off my lap; I helped her to stand, then steadied her when she wobbled a little. She was truly exhausted. I was glad we would be in a car soon, where she could finally get some much-needed sleep.

"Follow the right hallway around the corner to the first set of elevators," Gianna told us, pointing out the direction as she spoke. "The lobby is two floors down, and exits to the street. Goodbye, now," she added in a pleasant voice which hid her slight disappointment. _Well, it looks like he won't be joining us after all...a pity.  
_  
I didn't even spare her a glance as we passed, though Alice shot her a dark look. _You know what, I hope they decide _not_ to keep her. I suspect she'd make a particularly evil vampire._

I didn't answer, but I suspected she was right. I remembered Jane's assessment of Gianna's chances, and I suspected that _she_ had been right as well. I couldn't bring myself to feel sorry.

We left through the lobby, yet another part of the elaborate business facade—no casual visitor would ever have guessed the true nature of what lurked within this castle. Outside, the sun had dipped below the city's walls, leaving us safely shrouded in shadow. I noticed Bella glance back as we left the nightmare behind. I knew she wouldn't be able to see the turret from here...and for that I was grateful.

The humans of the city—locals and tourists alike, were still reveling in the festivities. The color red was everywhere, in flags, scarves, cloaks... I remembered seeing all of this earlier in the day, but I had taken so little notice, at the time.

As Alice had predicted, my attire did not stand out particularly—some of the revelers had donned black satin cloaks, and many an adult happily sported the sort of plastic fangs usually worn by children at Halloween. One man bared his 'fangs' at us as we passed, waggling his eyebrows in a pathetic attempt to look sinister.

_The trappings of vampires, as they see them_, Alice mused beside me.

"Ridiculous," I muttered.

_Listen, I'd better go see about procuring us a car...and I have to fetch Bella's bags—she'll need her passport, and she'll be happier if she has access to a change of clothes and a toothbrush._ In her mind, I caught a glimpse of a backpack stuffed into a back alley cranny, about twenty feet above street level. _I'll meet you outside_, she added as she slipped away.

Bella didn't notice Alice's absence at first, but when she did she looked panicked.

"Where's Alice?" she whispered, glancing around.

"She went to retrieve your bags from where she stashed them this morning."

Bella frowned. "She's stealing a car too, isn't she?"

I grinned. _Always the police chief's daughter._ "Not till we're outside."

She wobbled a little as she walked, her exhaustion catching up with her. I wanted very much to carry her the rest of the way to the gate, but knew that would attract undue attention. So instead I wound my arm around her waist, drawing her close so that I could support her as we walked. It was good to have her so close, regardless. I never wanted to let go of her again.

I felt her give a shudder as we passed beneath the dark stone archway, and I held her a little tighter, relieved that we were leaving the city and the nightmare behind.

I reached out with my mind and found Alice immediately, in the dark car waiting in the shadows to the right of the gate. The engine was running, and she was anxious to get away. So was I. I opened the back door for Bella and helped her inside before sliding in next to her. I wrapped both my arms securely around her as Alice took off down the hill. I felt lighter, almost giddy—we were finally putting distance between ourselves and Volterra, on our way home.

"I'm sorry," Alice apologized with a vague gesture toward the dashboard. "There wasn't much to choose from." A wistful image of a yellow Porsche flitted through her mind.

"It's fine, Alice." I grinned. "They can't all be 911 Turbos."

She sighed. "I may have to acquire one of those legally. It was fabulous."

"I'll get you one for Christmas." Hell, I'd get her _ten_ of them if she wanted. I owed Alice a lot for what she had done for me today. For us. I rested my chin on the top of Bella's head.

Alice turned to beam at me as we sped down the winding road. "Yellow," she told me. _You are quite honestly the best brother anyone ever had...except when you're being completely idiotic and aggravating, of course._

Of course.

Bella shifted a little in my arms, her expression peaceful as she gazed up at me. I gazed back down at her tenderly. I was content; we had escaped with our lives intact, and she was safe in my arms.

"You can sleep now, Bella," I murmured. "It's over."

Her expression wavered a little, and she swallowed. "I don't want to sleep. I'm not tired."

I dipped my head to press my lips to the warm hollow beneath her ear, reveling in both the softness of her skin and the concentration of her scent there. "Try."

She shook her head, keeping her eyes fixed on my face as I drew back.

I sighed. "You're still just as stubborn." _And yet I love you all the more for it._

My beautiful, stubborn girl managed to stay awake all the way to Florence, where Alice pried her away from me long enough for her to use the restroom and brush her teeth, and change into a fresh set of clothes. Alice cheerfully bought me new clothes as well (I was quite amazed by her uncharacteristic restraint—she spent only a few minutes in the shop and bought nothing for herself). I left Felix's cloak on a pile of trash in an alley—I wouldn't mind if I never saw its like again. It was also a relief to be rid of his scent at last.

The plane trip to Rome was short enough that Bella managed to keep herself awake, but I hoped the longer flight to Atlanta would be another matter. She really needed to sleep.

So I was dismayed when she asked the flight attendant to bring her a Coke.

"Bella," I said with a disapproving frown. She didn't exactly have much tolerance for caffeine...then again, that was probably the idea. I didn't understand why she was being so stubborn about this—she would feel so much better if she got some rest.

Behind us, Alice was murmuring to Jasper on the phone, filling him in on everything that had happened in a voice too fast and low for the nearby humans to understand.

Bella's brow puckered a little as she gazed up at me. "I don't want to sleep," she said quietly. "If I close my eyes now, I'll see things I don't want to see. I'll have nightmares."

I couldn't argue with her after that. Surely she'd seen enough in the last day to give anyone nightmares.

"No," I heard Alice murmur on the phone. "She's a little shaken, of course, but mostly just exhausted. Edward's trying to get her to sleep, but she's not having it. You know how stubborn she can be...but I think mostly she just doesn't want to take her eyes off him." A pause. "Yes, I think that would be best. We won't be there until after ten tomorrow morning." Another pause, and she sighed. "Yes, of _course_ you should be there. Jazz, she doesn't hold anything against you, I told you. And neither does Edward." _You don't, do you?_

I shook my head ever so slightly. No, I didn't hold anything against Jasper. What had happened hadn't been his fault. Mostly, it had been mine. That terrible day came flooding back to me, and I almost cringed at the memory. But my resolve did not waver. We would just have to be more careful, that was all. Because I couldn't live without Bella again.

It would have been a good time for us to talk, there in the quiet first class section of the plane with only Alice near enough to hear us. I had a number of questions that I wanted to ask her, and she probably had even more for me. But I held my tongue, unable to bring myself to ask those questions just yet. Besides, I still wanted her to sleep, even if she did insist on drinking more soda throughout the flight, stubbornly refusing to succumb to her exhaustion.

I was content enough to hold her in my arms, my fingers tracing the perfect features of her face in an endless caress. She reached up to touch my face as well, though she was strangely hesitant. I worried about that a little. She was just the same as I remembered, and yet different—it was as though she was unsure of herself. But I closed my thoughts to such questions as her fingertips left trails of burning warmth on my cheek. Later, when she was rested...and we were alone. Then I would have answers to my questions. In the meantime, I would just revel in being with her at last. I placed repeated kisses on her hair, her forehead, her wrists as her hands stroked my face... But as much as they called to me, I avoided her lips. That would have seemed wrong, somehow, for some reason I could not quite put my finger on. Maybe it was the fact that we were not alone...or maybe I needed my answers first. Maybe I just wanted her to be the one to make the first move. No, I decided, I just wanted her to sleep. I would have hummed her lullaby for her, but I suspected the flight attendants would bother us if I did.

And besides, I realized with a jolt of despair that hearing that lullaby might bring back a few more unpleasant memories for her right now. I recalled the CD I had hidden from her, along with the other things that might remind her of me. _No reminders. Ha. I should have known better than that._

As I gazed at her, I thought again of all the ways I had wronged her, and all the things I would do to put her life right again. I would pick up my life where I'd left off. I wondered vaguely if Carlisle and Esme had spoken to the school yet, or if they would wait, to be sure of me first. Regardless, school wouldn't be a problem. No doubt either Alice or Emmett would happily hack into the L.A. school system's records to plant evidence of our time there, and the transfer of our credits would be a simple matter. No one at Forks High School would bother to check up on it. Most of the teachers there had thought we all belonged in college from the moment we'd first arrived.

_Charlie_ would be a problem, though. I would have known that even if I hadn't seen his angry face in Alice's thoughts. I didn't blame him one bit for that anger; if only I could have explained to him how much more angry I was with _myself_ than he could ever be. He would probably ban me from the house. I could live with that. With difficulty. There was always school, though—he couldn't touch us there. And at night, after he'd gone to bed, we would be together again.

I allowed myself to linger for a time on the sweet memory of Bella's bedroom...my sanctuary...our little haven that had always seemed to be something apart from the rest of the world...

There were other problems, of course, problems more pressing than Charlie's certain disapproval. The wolf pack, for one. I didn't like Bella associating with them—too dangerous. They were volatile, unpredictable creatures—even Alice couldn't see the outcome of their decisions. I would have to try to keep Bella away from them. I realized uneasily that she would probably resent me for this. She had grown close to them while I'd been away. Yes, I was responsible for that, as well. They had been there to protect her while I had not, and I was certainly thankful for that much, at least. But that didn't mean I would let her be around them now—it was only down to sheer luck that she hadn't been hurt already (and honestly, when had Bella's luck ever lasted?). I gave a little sigh, gazing down into her eyes. She _would_ resent my overprotectiveness, as she always did. But I couldn't let her risk her life by being near them.

I thought briefly of Jacob Black. She had been closest to him. He had been there, in the house—I knew from Alice that he was the one who had answered the phone when I had called. Fleetingly, I wondered what would have happened if Bella had answered instead—would I have kept my resolve and hung up on her, content to know that she was alive? I shuddered ever so slightly at the thought. If I _had_ hung up on her, if I had somehow found the strength to stay away for another month or two, would she have found solace elsewhere—moved on, as I had planned? The pain of that possibility was almost too much to bear. I pressed my lips into her hair again to hide the momentary anguish on my face.

_Stop_, I told myself. _She's here, and she's safe. You can't ask for more than that._

And I reminded myself that I owed Jacob a debt which I could never fully repay. He had saved her—kept her alive in my absence. For that, I owed him _my_ life. I told myself that again and again as I tried to keep the budding jealousy in check.

Of course, there was another nagging problem.

The Volturi. They would come to check, eventually—Caius would see to that. I knew Aro would give us time, though; he did not want to destroy us—at least, not all of us. And he really did want to see how Bella 'turned out'.

No. I would not give him that pleasure. She was staying human, and somehow I would protect her from them. I thought about what I had gleaned from Demetri, and my vague plans began to take more definite form in my mind...

And then there was Victoria; my thoughts returned to her as I felt Alice searching, trying to find any sign that the demon redhead might be returning to Forks in the near future. _There's no trace of her Edward_, she told me, aware that I was listening._ I think the pack must have scared her off, for now. Probably it'll be months before she tries anything again.  
_  
She would have to be dealt with of course; there was no way I was going to let her get away with this, whether she came back or not. But dealing with a lone nomad shouldn't be too difficult, if I could just find her. With Alice's help, it should be possible.

All through that long flight, Bella never took her eyes off of my face, and I never looked away from hers. After a time, I could no longer focus on the problems of the future; I allowed myself to simply bask in her presence, knowing that at long last we were on our way home.

Of course, I was home already; I was with Bella.

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**A/N: Please review! The rest of the Cullens will be joining us in the next chapter. **


	5. Chapter 5: Home Sweet Home

**Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer; no infringement intended.**

**A/N: ...and here come the Cullens!  
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**Chapter 5: Home Sweet Home**

Bella was somehow able to keep herself stubbornly awake from Atlanta to Seattle as well. I hoped she would sleep in the car on the way back to Forks...or at least, when we got her back to her own bed.

_They're all there, Edward_, Alice thought contentedly. Her mind had been fairly quiet for awhile, probably trying to give me time alone with Bella. _Esme's just about beside herself. She'll be over the moon to see you, but pretty furious as well._

I supposed she had a right to be. Even before my 'suicide attempt', I'd been a pretty lousy excuse for a son over the last six months. I'd have to make amends for that as well. It had all begun to matter to me in a way that it hadn't before.

I could hear the familiar minds of our family as we disembarked from the plane in Seattle. For once, Jasper's thoughts were the loudest...not to mention the most impatient. He waited just beyond the metal detectors, and kept his eyes trained on Alice as she danced lightly to his side. He drank in her emotions—the joy and relief at being together again which mirrored his own. It was rare for our kind to be separated from our mates for any real length of time; even a few days could seem an eternity to a closely bonded pair like Alice and Jasper _(and as for a few months...let's not even go there...)_.

But the last few days had been particularly hard on Jasper—the endless hours of knowing that Alice was in grave danger, and yet being powerless to do anything to help. His elation at seeing her again—safe and unharmed—was overwhelming. Neither of them said a word as they stood there, not quite touching—though neither of them could read minds, they knew each other so well that they could almost carry on a silent conversation just by staring into each other's eyes. I turned my thoughts politely away from the intimacy of their reunion, drawing Bella over to where Carlisle and Esme stood in the shadow of a wide pillar.

I was sure Esme's eyes would have been brimming with tears had they been capable of it. Her thoughts when she looked at Bella were full of love and gratitude, and she reached out to her first, pulling her into a fierce hug. It was also a just little awkward, because I refused to let go of her myself.

"Thank you so much," she said in Bella's ear.

When she turned to throw her arms around me, she was almost sobbing. "You will _never_ put me through that again," she nearly growled, her fingers clutching the fabric of my shirtsleeves as she shook me just a little. Rage warred with relief and happiness in her mind—it would have seemed a strange combination, had I not experienced enough of it myself in recent hours. I caught more than one expletive in the thoughts she hurled at me—unusual for my refined 'mother'. Still, I supposed I'd earned it.

I offered her a repentant grin. "Sorry, Mom."

"Thank you, Bella," Carlisle said, putting a hand on her arm. Both his voice and his thoughts seemed weary from all the stress and worry. "We owe you." _Edward, I'm so glad to see you...words fail me. But son...could you please think things through a little more next time? You have no idea what it would have done to us if Bella and Alice hadn't managed to stop you._

I _did_ have an idea, and the guilt I felt for that was nearly as overpowering as the guilt for what I'd done to Bella. I felt ashamed that I had hurt and disappointed him. But I would have to explain, eventually...they all had to understand that when Bella _did_ die one day (I swallowed hard at the thought), I would have to follow. I would not be able to linger behind, alone for the rest of eternity...

"Hardly," Bella mumbled in answer to Carlisle. I could tell she was struggling to keep her eyes open. It seemed the sleepless night had finally caught up to her.

"She's dead on her feet," Esme scolded me. "Let's get her home." _Surely you should have made her get some sleep, Edward, after all she's been through!_

Esme didn't understand Bella's stubborn nature quite as well as I did.

Esme took Bella's left side and I her right, and together we pulled her through the airport. Bella seemed half asleep already; she stumbled along between us, her feet dragging and her eyelids drooping.

_Edward_, I heard Jasper hail me silently from behind. I turned my head just slightly to let him know I was listening. _It's good to see you...both of you. Listen...Alice would kill me for saying this, but I want you to know, I'll stay away if you want me to._

"Oh no you don't!" Alice hissed. Her voice was so low that I could barely hear it, though I was only ten feet ahead of them. "I see what you're planning, and you can stop right now! I'm not going back to Alaska, and neither are you. And you can forget Cornell too—college can wait. It'll be fine, you'll see." _Edward, you're going to have to talk to him, set him straight._

_Sheesh, talk about overreaction_, Jasper grumbled silently. _Edward, just let me know when you've thought about it; we'll talk later._

I nodded for both of them, mouthing the word 'Later' and shooting them a grin before I turned my face forward again. Jasper really ought to know better than to try to keep his intentions from Alice.

_She's right._ Esme had gathered the gist of our conversation from Alice's words. _We'll work something out, but I'm not having my family scattered again._ She glanced meaningfully at Carlisle, who was walking by her other side. His thoughts ran along the same lines.

_I don't believe Jasper will be a problem, Edward. We'll all be more careful, and he'll hold his breath around her if that's what it takes.  
_  
I nodded again, to both him and Esme. I had already made up my mind well before this. In truth, Jasper had far less confidence in himself than the rest of us had in him...still, as Carlisle had said, we would all be more careful now. I would find a way to keep Bella safe, but like Esme, I didn't want my family to be scattered. Just being around all of them again was a very warming feeling, and I knew that Bella would want them all to stay as well. Well, _most_ of them, at least...

I had almost forgotten, as we entered the cavernous parking garage, that two members of my family had yet to make an appearance. Then I saw them.

Emmett and Rosalie watched our approach, leaning casually against the Mercedes. Emmett grinned.

_Hey, bro! Long time no see!_

I stiffened as my eyes flickered to Rosalie, who was biting her lip nervously, her thoughts a little panicked.

"Don't," Esme whispered. "She feels awful."

"She should." I made no attempt to keep my voice down as I glared at the person I might have charitably described as my second-favorite sister.

"It's not her fault," Bella mumbled.

"Let her make amends," Esme pleaded, touching my arm. "We'll ride with Alice and Jasper." _Please, Edward, give her a chance..._

She and Carlisle melted away, leaving me to glower at Rosalie.

_Edward...Edward, please forgive me! I was wrong, I was stupid...I should never have called you, even if it _had_ been true! I was only thinking of our family—I wanted us all to be together again. If I'd realized what would happen—how much it would hurt you, and what it would drive you to do—I would never have done it! I'm so sorry, I'm so very, very sorry!  
_  
The thoughts tumbled out so fast they were almost a jumble, but it was impossible to miss the genuine remorse she felt. That didn't mean I was ready to forgive her.

_You have no idea how much I've suffered over the last few days, knowing what I'd done!_

Of course she would be feeling sorry for herself as well; that was just part of Rosalie's nature.

"Please, Edward," Bella said. I doubted she wanted to ride with Rosalie any more than I did; she was probably just trying to keep the peace. With a sigh, I started to move forward again.

Emmett shot me a rueful look as he and Rosalie got into the front seat. _Listen, Edward, give her a break. All's well that ends well. Mistakes happen.  
_  
I pulled Bella into the back with me, keeping her tightly in my arms. She relaxed against me and closed her eyes as Emmett started the engine and backed out of the parking space. Rosalie twisted in her seat so she could look at us.

"Edward," she began aloud, her eyes imploring.

"I know," I told her shortly, still glaring at her; I was not feeling generous.

Her eyes flickered uncertainly to Bella's face. "Bella?" she asked softly.

Bella's eyelids fluttered open, the shock apparent on her face. Her reaction was understandable; as a general rule, Rosalie did not address her directly. In fact... I made a brief search of my memories. Hmm. Actually, as far as I knew this was the first time.

"Yes, Rosalie?" she asked, sounding bewildered.

"I'm so very sorry, Bella. I feel wretched about every part of this, and so grateful that you were brave enough to go save my brother after what I did," she said, her words stiff and awkward with embarrassment, but quite sincere. "Please say you'll forgive me." I felt nothing false from Rosalie right now, only earnest, repentant truth. I found myself warming to her just a little.

"Of course, Rosalie. It's not your fault at all. I'm the one who jumped off the damn cliff. Of course I forgive you," Bella mumbled, her voice bordering on incoherent.

"It doesn't count until she's conscious, Rose," Emmett said with a chuckle. _Geez Louise, bro, didn't you let her sleep on the plane?_

"I'm conscious," Bella sighed, her eyes closed again as she relaxed against me, her cheek resting on my shoulder.

"Let her sleep," I told them softly, carefully brushing a strand of hair out of her face. They were quiet after that—at least, they didn't speak out loud.

_Rose is right, she _is_ brave_, Emmett mused as he sped down the highway toward Forks. I guessed we'd be there in no more than half an hour, given our present speed. _Maybe the bravest human I've ever seen, in fact. _He shook his head. _We heard what happened...what I wouldn't give to have been there! I wish Jazz and Carlisle hadn't stopped us..._ I saw in his mind what I had already gathered vaguely from Alice—that he and Rosalie had been on their way to the Anchorage airport as soon as they'd realized what I was doing, intent on stopping me themselves. Fortunately Alice had spoken to Jasper on the phone, and told him to get them back before they did anything stupid.

"You know you couldn't have done anything," I said in a murmur quiet enough not to disturb Bella; she had sunk into sleep at last, her slow, even breathing tickling my throat with its warmth. Alice had been right to tell them to stay behind—if I'd seen, heard, or caught a whiff any of them, I would only have acted that much faster to end my existence, knowing that they had come to stop me. And then they would most likely have gotten into a fight with the Volturi, and I would not have been the only one to die that day. I suppressed a shudder. Yes, I was _very_ glad that Alice had convinced them all to stay. "Seeing Bella alive was the only thing that could have stopped me, Em. Anything else...would not have been helpful."

_Yeah, I guess you're right. By the way, did I tell you you're an idiot?_

I smiled.

_You'll have to tell us the whole story, you know. I want details. I know you saw more than Alice—or _heard_, I should say._

"Don't worry, you won't be disappointed," I murmured, laying my cheek gently against the top of Bella's head. There would be time enough to tell them everything, but for the near future I had no intention of straying far from Bella's side.

_I hope you got some sense knocked into your head, at least. Jazz said Alice seemed pretty sanguine about the future, though._

I didn't answer.

_What does _that_ mean? _He eyed me through the rearview mirror. _You're not thinking of leaving again, are you?_

"No."

He relaxed. _Good. You can be a real dunce sometimes, you know that?_

"Yes."

Emmett laughed quietly.

Rosalie's thoughts had been a quiet, penitent hum in the background, but now she glanced back at us again. _Edward...I know I haven't exactly been supportive of your relationship...but...I was wrong to be so obnoxious about it. It took awhile for me to see it, but...she makes you happy, and...well, I guess it makes _me_ happy to see that. I'll...I'll try to be more understanding from now on.  
_

I met her eyes, and gave her a slight nod. Rose and I would probably never see eye to eye on most things, but perhaps she would be a little easier to be around from now on.

I could hope, anyway.

Neither of them addressed me directly with their thoughts for the rest of the journey. I closed my eyes and concentrated on Bella—her wonderful scent, her familiar heartbeat, her steady breathing, the little sighs that escaped her lips every so often. In the background I could still hear Emmett's and Rosalie's thoughts. He was looking forward to running the old trails again—Europe and the eastern US were a little trickier to find good game in, given their population densities, and though Alaska had plenty of grizzlies, he'd missed our favorite stomping grounds around here. He'd missed me too—hunting trips just weren't the same without me. I realized that I was looking forward to hunting with him again as well.

Rose was focused more on the house—she had a fondness for it, as we all did. In her mind, I saw an image of me at the piano, and I had to smile. She had missed that. I found that I had too. Of course, during my time away I'd been far too depressed to even listen to music let alone play, but now I found that I could look forward to that again.

I imagined it was like waking up from a long sleep...as if a fairy-tale enchantment had lifted at last and given me back my life.

I pressed my lips softly to Bella's forehead.

It was just before eleven in the morning when we arrived in Forks, the cloudy little town that would always be my true home on this planet. I searched ahead with my mind as we pulled up to Charlie's house, suddenly worried that Victoria or a werewolf or some other danger might be lurking. But I found only Charlie, pacing the living room and racked with worry. Then he saw our car out the window, and the worry changed at once into rage.

I sighed. This was not going to be pleasant.

"Stay here," I muttered to the others. I opened my door and gathered Bella gently in my arms, trying not to wake her.

The door of the house flew open as we approached, and Charlie stormed out to meet us, equal measures of relief and fury tumbling off of him in wordless waves.

"Bella!" he shouted.

"Charlie," she mumbled, stirring awake.

"Shh," I whispered as I eyed Charlie's approach with wary eyes. "It's okay; you're home and safe. Just sleep."

"I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here!" Charlie bellowed at me. His face was purple with rage, and in his usually murky thoughts, I saw sharp, fleeting images—Bella with a dead look in her eyes...lying dazed and disheveled on the coach...hugging herself as if she thought she would fall apart...waking screaming in the night... I swallowed, a hard lump in my throat, and clenched my teeth to keep from crying out myself.

"Stop it, Dad," Bella groaned. Her voice was too weak for him to hear.

"What's wrong with her?" Charlie demanded, the color draining a little from his face as he stared at his daughter in horror.

"She's just very tired, Charlie," I assured him quietly. "Please let her rest."

"Don't tell me what to do!" Charlie yelled, and suddenly the image of his police-issue gun belt was foremost in his mind, along with a number of choice four-letter words. I was finding it easier than usual to read his thoughts—probably due to his anger. "Give her to me. Get your hands off her!"

I tried to pass Bella to him, but she refused to let go of my shirt—her knuckles were white with the strain. Charlie scowled and yanked on her arm, but she just clung to me more tightly.

"Cut it out, Dad," she said, her voice louder than before. She half-opened her eyes to glare at him blearily. "Be mad at _me_."

"You bet I will be," Charlie promised. "Get inside."

"'Kay. Let me down," she sighed.

I didn't want to—she was barely conscious, and I doubted very much that she could walk. But I couldn't just ignore her request, not with Charlie's enraged glare directed at both of us. I set her carefully on her feet, and she took a step and a half before she started to fall toward the sidewalk. Fortunately, I was there to catch her.

"Just let me get her upstairs," I told Charlie as I gathered her into my arms again. "Then I'll leave."

"No," she cried, panic in her voice.

"I won't be far," I whispered in her ear, low enough that Charlie would not be able to hear. _As if I could stand to be any distance away from you now..._ I carried her toward the open door.

"You bet you'll leave," Charlie muttered in a very low voice as he followed close behind us. I carried her upstairs to her room and laid her gently on the bed. She was clinging to my shirt again, and I pried her fingers loose carefully, all too aware of her father watching from the doorway. I swiftly pulled a blanket over her before he could stop me, then turned away. Charlie glared daggers at me as he stepped aside, jabbing a finger toward the stairs.

"Now you listen to me, Cullen," he said, his voice low but still rough with anger as he followed me down the stairs. "I don't know what all this was about, but I'm _not_ going to let you hurt her again. You've done enough to mess her up already, and _I'm not having it_, do you hear me?" We were at the door, and I turned to face him once outside. His face was a deep purple again. "You are never to set foot through this door again, do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," I said stiffly. This was not the time to argue with him. I was very grateful that I had another avenue of entry.

"Go on, then!" Charlie snarled, his thoughts once again straying to his gun belt.

I went swiftly to the car before he decided to act on his impulse. Charlie was not normally a violent man, but he had been pushed to extremes lately...

"Drop me off around the corner," I muttered to Emmett as I slid into the back seat, my eyes still on Charlie, who was watching us from the doorway.

"Careful, kid...he looks a bit upset."

"Don't worry," I grinned. "I'll steer clear of him for a day or two."

Emmett laughed. _Wonder what he'd do if he caught you up there...  
_  
I didn't even want to contemplate that. "Don't worry, he won't."

_Not that you two ever get up to anything he wouldn't approve of, eh?  
_  
I snarled quietly.

That's_ the Edward I remember! Listen, bring her home as soon as you get a chance. I've missed her too, you know...it'll be nice to talk to her when she's fully conscious._

They left me off out of sight of the house, and I took even more care than usual in my approach. But as I drew near I saw that Charlie had turned on the TV and was trying to lose himself in a late-season hockey game. His thoughts were becoming more difficult to read again, now that his anger had started to calm a little, but I could still discern the gist of them. He was thinking of calling Billy Black and a few others to let them know that Bella was back safe and sound, but he was trying to figure out just what to tell them. It didn't matter; all I could think of was getting back to Bella's side.

It took me less than half a second to close the rest of the distance and scale the wall. I slid the window open and slipped inside, my eyes already drawn to her sleeping face. Carefully, so as not to wake her, I lay down beside her on the bed, draping my left arm lightly over her blanketed form. I knew Charlie would probably look in a few times during the day, so I kept a small amount of my attention focused on him, ready to leave if I had to. Even the anticipation of that temporary separation set my unbeating heart to aching.

How I'd ever had the strength to leave this, I was not sure. I remembered with painful clarity the last night I'd spent here, when I'd kissed her goodnight and good-bye and lain awake with my conscience warring with my selfishness, trying to find a less painful solution but always coming up short. I remembered as well the heated arguments that had followed—with Carlisle, with Esme, with Emmett...and with Alice. They had thought I was doing the wrong thing, that it would hurt her just as much as it would hurt me...

They had been right...and I had been a fool. I had hurt them, and I had hurt her even more. My own pain had been difficult enough to bear, but I could never have left, let alone stayed away for as long as I had, if I had realized the depth of _her_ pain. Like a fool, I had thought her love for me to be something fleeting, something more akin to what most humans tended to feel, something that would ease with time, forgotten like a schoolgirl crush. I'd _had_ to believe that she would move on...I'd _forced_ myself to believe it. But I realized now that her love was as lasting and unbreakable as my own, and I felt ashamed for ever believing otherwise.

I watched Bella's perfect face as she slept, and vowed yet again that I would find a way to make amends for my mistakes.

As I'd predicted, Charlie came in several times to check over the course of the day. Each time, I hid in the closet—in the daylight it was safer than slipping out the window. Bella did not wake, and I was grateful when Charlie went away each time without disturbing her. His thoughts were muted again...tender when he looked at her, though he continued to grumble beneath the surface. When he went back downstairs to the television, I stole quietly back to resume my place at her side.

Bella did not say much—it must have been a very deep sleep. But twice she sighed my name, and both times my unbeating heart swelled with emotion.

As the sky darkened outside and Charlie grew more and more drowsy downstairs—he hadn't slept much in the last few days either—I turned my attention to the problem I'd set aside earlier. The Volturi. It would probably be years, but they _would_ come for her, eventually. I was growing more and more confident, though, that we could deal with it. The only real problem was Demetri, and I grew more certain at every moment that whatever the mysterious reason behind it, Bella would be immune to him, just as she was to Aro, Jane, and me. I would have Alice keep tabs on them, and she would be able to tell us in advance if they planned a visit. We could hide Bella then, somewhere safe...

Of course, Demetri would be able to track the rest of us, and he'd probably choose me as his target to home in on, as I was the most likely to be with Bella. That was just fine. I'd be ready for him...probably Emmett and Jasper would be eager to help out. Emmett would love to have a chance at Demetri—even more eager to match muscles with Felix, if he came along. Of course, we'd have to hope that Alec or Jane wasn't part of the group. That...would be a problem. But Alice would be able to see that as well...and we had plenty of time to work out the details, after all. The Volturi counted years like days; they probably wouldn't think about checking for a decade, at least.

I had to hide in the closet once more, when Charlie looked in on Bella before he went off to bed. When he'd gone, I crept back to settle myself more permanently on the bed—the room was warm, and I slipped beneath the covers to gather Bella carefully into my arms. She sighed and snuggled closer to me in her sleep, and I closed my eyes, listening again to the ebb and flow of her breathing and the quiet, steady beating of her heart.

"Bella, sweet Bella," I murmured, low enough so as not to wake her. "My beautiful, brave Bella. Thank you. Thank you for saving me...from myself." I swallowed, closing my eyes as I tried not to think of what would have happened if she'd found me a few seconds later. _So many things in this world are chance, pure chance...or are they fated to unfold as they do?_ I wasn't sure what I believed anymore...it was frightening to contemplate. I focused on her, safe and warm in my arms, and did my best to shove the last six months into the dark corner of my mind where they belonged.

_Never again._

_

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**A/N: Yes, I think he learned his lesson, don't you? Please remember to review; I value any comments you might have. **

**I will try to keep adding a chapter every few days, but I've been quite busy lately (in Alaska, summers are short and there's never enough time!). They're all written, but I still have some editing to do. My thanks to all of you for reading this; I hope I'm doing these characters justice!  
**


	6. Chapter 6: State of Denial

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns this material; I wish I did.**

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**Chapter 6: State of Denial**

It was close to one in the morning when Bella began to stir awake. I watched as a ghost of a smile lingered on her lips...she looked so content, so peaceful. But then the smile faded, and the little crease appeared between her eyebrows, as if something unpleasant had intruded upon her thoughts. That bothered me. I wanted to chase away that hint of a frown, to make her thoughts peaceful again. She stirred and took in a deep breath, coming more fully awake.

I leaned in to press my lips very softly to her forehead.

Her eyes squeezed more tightly shut, her frown more pronounced than before. I grew anxious as I watched her. Was she still dreaming? Surely she could feel my arms around her—did she not find that a comfort? A dozen insecurities surfaced in my suddenly panicked thoughts as I watched her. Then at last, with a great sigh, she opened her eyes.

"Oh!" she gasped, and threw her fists over her eyes. Had I frightened her? Maybe she hadn't expected me to be here, and so close. Maybe she was still wary of my dark, thirsty eyes...or maybe she had decided after all that I was the stuff of nightmares.

It took four tenths of a second for her to begin to lower her hands again—not long in human terms, but an eternity of torment and doubt for me. Slowly, she opened her eyes again.

"Did I frighten you?" I asked, searching her face anxiously. For a few moments, she just stared at me, her expression morphing from panic to confusion to wonder...and back to confusion again. I just watched her in alarm, not quite sure what to make of her reaction. What was she thinking? Why had she reacted this way? _Was_ I a monster to her, after all? She blinked twice, her brow creasing again as if in concentration. Then a look of utter despair crossed her features.

"Oh, _crap_," she croaked.

Those weren't exactly the words I'd been hoping for.

"What's wrong, Bella?" My anxiety was even stronger now as she frowned at me, clearly upset. Was she unhappy that I was here? I didn't understand...she was acting so differently than she had in Italy and on the plane...

"I'm dead, right?" she moaned. "I _did_ drown. Crap, crap, crap! This is gonna kill Charlie."

I frowned back at her in confusion, still not quite following her logic. Why on earth would she think she was _dead_? "You're not dead," I told her, deciding it was best to state the obvious.

"Then why am I not waking up?" she challenged, raising her eyebrows.

God, she really did believe I was a dream. Or a nightmare, more like...

"You _are_ awake, Bella." I was beginning to think she should go back to sleep; clearly she wasn't completely rested yet.

She shook her head, rolling her eyes. "Sure, sure. That's what you want me to think. And then it will be worse when I do wake up. _If_ I wake up, which I won't, because I'm dead. This is awful. Poor Charlie. And Renée and Jake..." She trailed off, a look of horror on her face.

"I can see where you might confuse me with a nightmare." My lips curved briefly into a grim smile; hadn't I done enough to her that she should see me as such? "But I can't imagine what you could have done to wind up in hell. Did you commit many murders while I was away?" I asked lightly. _Yes, make a joke out of it, Edward. Might as well...  
_  
She grimaced. "Obviously not. If I was in hell, you wouldn't be with me."

But of course, if it was the other place, I _couldn't_ be with her. I sighed.

She was silent for a moment. Her eyes darted away from my face for a moment, then returned. A faint blush began to spread over her cheeks—I'd almost forgotten what a truly beautiful thing that was—and her eyes probed mine with a new expression. I waited, tortured as always by the maddening silence of her mind.

"Did all of that really happen, then?" she whispered at last.

_Ah. At last we're getting somewhere.  
_  
"That depends." My smile remained hard as I thought of the danger I had put her in—all because of two stupid phone calls and my own stubbornness... "If you're referring to us nearly being massacred in Italy, then, yes."

"How strange," she mused, her brow puckering again as her eyes lost their focus for a moment. "I really went to Italy. Did you know I'd never been farther east than Albuquerque?"

Typical Bella. She had spent hours in mortal, bone-chilling danger, and she was marveling at the air miles she'd put in. I rolled my eyes. "Maybe you should go back to sleep. You're not coherent."

"I'm not tired anymore." Her eyes seemed wary as they studied my face. "What time is it? How long have I been sleeping?"

I didn't have to look at the clock; being able to keep perfect time in my head came in handy at times. "It's just after one in the morning. So, about fourteen hours."

She stretched within my arms as I spoke, wincing just a little. I wondered if she had bruises yet from when Alice had caught her beneath the drain.

"Charlie?" she asked, her eyes flickering toward the closed door.

I frowned. "Sleeping. You should probably know that I'm breaking the rules right now. Well, not technically, since he said I was never to walk through his door again, and I came in the window... But, still, the intent was clear."

"Charlie banned you from the house?" she demanded. The guarded look had disappeared from her widened eyes; they flashed in fury, reminding me as always of a furious kitten.

I looked at her sadly. "Did you expect anything else?" After what I'd done to her, any sane father would have reacted the same way—some would have done a mite worse. I was a little glad that I was bulletproof, as Charlie might still decide to shoot me one of these days.

Her eyes remained angry as she contemplated my words. Then suddenly, I caught a flash of pain in them—what was _that_ about? It was maddening, not knowing what she was thinking! She cleared her throat.

"What's the story?" she asked, her voice casual, though I thought I heard a slight quaver.

"What do you mean?" I stared at her, trying to figure out what was going through her mind. As usual, it was hopeless.

"What am I telling Charlie?" she clarified. "What's my excuse for disappearing for...how long was I gone, anyway?"

"Just three days." _Just three days_...I made it sound so easy. My eyes tightened as I thought of all she had gone through in those three days. But at least it was over now. I found that I could smile more naturally now as I thought of the first part of her question. "Actually, I was hoping you might have a good explanation. I've got nothing." I'd been spending my time thinking of other matters...I probably should have given a little thought to this as well.

She groaned, rolling her eyes again. "Fabulous."

"Well, maybe Alice will come up with something," I offered, trying to comfort her. I didn't want her to get into any more trouble with Charlie than she was in already.

She gazed at me for a moment, relaxing a little, though the guarded look had returned to her eyes. "So," she began, still in that same maddeningly casual tone. "What have you been doing, up until three days ago?"

Ah. I supposed it was natural for her to be curious about that. It was my turn to be wary now as I gazed at her; this was not a subject I was particularly eager to discuss. I wanted to leave that darkest period of my life behind as much as possible. "Nothing terribly exciting," I said truthfully, leaving out all the dark and frightening words I _would_ use to describe my time away from her.

"Of course not," she mumbled, looking disgruntled.

"Why are you making that face?"

"Well..." She pursed her perfect lips as she considered—it made me want to close the distance and kiss those lips, but I restrained myself. Not yet. We obviously had some talking to do first. "If you were, after all, just a dream," she continued, tenacious in her flawed logic, "that's exactly the kind of thing you would say. My imagination must be used up."

Yes, it would be nice if I could convince her that she was awake before I kissed her.

I sighed. "If I tell you, will you finally believe that you're not having a nightmare?"

"Nightmare!" she scoffed, as if I didn't deserve to be categorized with the worst nightmares imaginable. I watched her expression smooth as I waited for her answer. "Maybe," she said after a moment. "If you tell me."

"I was...hunting." _Part of the time, at least._

"Is that the best you can do?" she asked, frowning. "That definitely doesn't prove I'm awake."

I hesitated. How much of this did I want to tell her? It was painful even to think about it, let alone speak of my failures. I looked into her expectant, wary eyes, and spoke slowly, choosing my words with care. "I wasn't hunting for food...I was actually trying my hand at...tracking. I'm not very good at it." _That_ was an understatement.

"What were you tracking?" she asked, her eyes glinting with curiosity.

"Nothing of consequence," I said uncomfortably. I had failed, utterly. The one task I had set myself in my time away from her, and I had proven completely useless.

"I don't understand."

I hesitated again, torn. As difficult as it was to admit my failings to her, I knew it was something I had to tell her. I felt utterly wretched as I gazed into her perplexed eyes. I reminded myself that she already knew the worst of what I had done—that I had left her not only heartbroken but in horrible danger. Part of me was still amazed that she hadn't already told me to get lost like the creep that I was.

I needed her to understand, at least, that I'd had no idea of that danger—no thought at all that Victoria would try to avenge James's death by coming after her and not me. I had to make her understand that if I'd had any inkling of what would happen, I would never have left.

"I—" I took a deep breath, but knew I had to press on; she deserved to know this. "I owe you an apology. No, of course I owe you much, much more than that. But you have to know," I pleaded, speaking faster as my agitation grew, "that I had no idea. I didn't realize the mess I was leaving behind. I thought it was safe for you here. So safe. I had no idea that Victoria" —the hateful name came out as a snarl— "would come back. I'll admit, when I saw her that one time, I was paying much more attention to James's thoughts. But I just didn't see that she had this kind of response in her. That she even had such a tie to him." Inwardly, I cursed myself again for not paying more attention to all three of the nomads during that encounter. James had been the obvious threat, but I should have sensed how dangerous Victoria could be. Some mind reader I was! Useless!

"I think I realize why now," I continued miserably, "she was so sure of him, the thought of him failing never occurred to her. It was her overconfidence that clouded her feelings about him—that kept me from seeing the depth of them, the bond there." But I _should_ have seen it! In hindsight, it was painfully obvious.

"Not that there's any excuse for what I left you to face." No, I refused to allow myself any excuses for that despicable act. "When I heard what you told Alice—what she saw herself—when I realized that you had to put your life in the hands of _werewolves_, immature, volatile, the worst thing out there besides Victoria herself..." I shuddered, and for a moment I was unable to continue. I had left her in such danger—how close had she come to death, and how many times?

"Please know that I had no idea of any of this," I said in a broken voice. "I feel sick, sick to my core, even now, when I can see and feel you safe in my arms. I am the most miserable excuse for—"

"Stop," she interrupted me, both her voice and her eyes full of pain. I stared at her, wondering if she could ever forgive me for what I had done. And even if she could, did I deserve that forgiveness? In my heart, I knew the answer was no; there should be no forgiveness for my contemptible behavior.

But that didn't mean I would stop asking for it.

Bella was silent for a few moments, as though trying to find the right words. She composed her face into a smooth mask as she looked at me, though I could still see the torment in her eyes.

"Edward," she said, and she took a deep breath, as if to steady herself. "This has to stop now. You can't think about things that way. You can't let this...this _guilt_...rule your life. You can't take responsibility for the things that happen to me here. None of it is your fault, it's just part of how life _is_ for me." I felt myself frowning as I listened to her, not quite able to grasp what she was trying to tell me—it felt as though my mind was working far more slowly than normal, that there was something important and obvious that I was missing...

"So, if I trip in front of a bus or whatever it is next time," she continued, her voice breaking a little, "you have to realize that it's not your job to take the blame. You can't just go running off to Italy because you feel bad that you didn't save me."

I could barely comprehend her words. _Because I felt bad that I didn't save her?_ Did she really believe...?

"Even if I had jumped off that cliff to die," she went on, her voice pained, "that would have been my choice, and _not your fault_. I know it's your...your nature to shoulder the blame for everything, but you really can't let that make you go to such extremes! It's very irresponsible—think of Esme and Carlisle and—"

She stopped to take another shaky breath, her distress obvious. I could hardly believe what she was telling me.

"Isabella Marie Swan," I whispered, staring at her in incensed disbelief. "Do you believe that I asked the Volturi to kill me _because I felt guilty_?"

She stared back at me with a look of blank incomprehension. "Didn't you?" she whispered.

"Feel guilty? Intensely so. More than you can comprehend."

"Then...what are you saying?" Her brow puckered in confusion, as though I was trying to explain some ridiculously advanced concept to her. "I don't understand."

"Bella, I went to the Volturi because I thought you were dead," I said, my voice soft as I held her in my fierce gaze. _Because without you, my life was over...because there was no longer any reason for my existence...because the pain was beyond anything I'd ever imagined..._ "Even if I'd had no hand in your death" —I couldn't help but shudder as I whispered the last word— "even if it _wasn't_ my fault, I would have gone to Italy. Obviously, I should have been more careful—I should have spoken to Alice directly, rather than accepting it secondhand from Rosalie." _Yes, note to self: the next time Rose decides to tell you something important, be sure to treat it with a little more skepticism...(sigh) not that it was entirely her fault..._ "But, really, what was I supposed to think when the boy said Charlie was at the funeral? What are the odds?"

"The odds..." I muttered to myself. "The odds are always stacked against us. Mistake after mistake. I'll never criticize Romeo again." In the mistake department, I put him to shame.

"But I still don't understand," she said, still frowning. "That's my whole point. So what?" She gave a little shrug of her shoulders as she said the last word, her gaze downcast.

I frowned back at her, not sure I'd heard her right. "Excuse me?"

"So what if I _was_ dead?"

I continued to stare at her dubiously. Was it possible that she still didn't understand? That she still believed the lie I'd told her, all those months ago? After all we'd gone through in the last few days, how could she possibly still think that way? "Don't you remember anything I told you before?"

"I remember _everything_ that you told me," she said firmly, her eyes tightening in pain. Ah, so she _did_ still believe... I could scarcely imagine how—the girl had a capacity for self-delusion that was beyond anything I'd ever seen. Even after all she'd seen and heard over the last two days, the hours she'd spent in my arms—in Volterra, in the car, on the plane—after all the times I'd tenderly touched her face, pressed my lips to her forehead, buried my face in her hair... Somehow, after all of that, she _still_ believed that odious, unforgivable lie.

Her lower lip trembled a little as she gazed at me; I brushed the tip of my finger against it, wanting more than anything to reassure her, to make her believe... "Bella, you seem to be under a misapprehension." I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly, a sad half-smile on my face. "I thought I'd explained it clearly before. Bella, I can't live in a world where you don't exist."

"I am..." She exhaled. "Confused."

I stared deep into her bewildered eyes. "I'm a good liar, Bella," I told her quietly. "I have to be."

She went rigid—I could feel every part of her body tense, as if she dreaded what I would say next. I shook her shoulder, cursing myself for beginning in such a way.

"Let me finish! I'm a good liar, but still, for you to believe me so quickly." I winced at the memory. "That was...excruciating."

She did not move. Her lips were slightly parted, her dazed eyes fixed on mine.

"When we were in the forest, when I was telling you goodbye—" The memory of that day, of that conversation in particular, was so painful that I could scarcely get the words out of my mouth. "You weren't going to let go," I whispered. "I could see that. I didn't want to do it—I felt like it would kill me to do it—but I knew that if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you anymore, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if you thought _I'd_ moved on, so would you."

"A clean break," she whispered. Her brown eyes were wide.

"Exactly. But I never imagined it would be so easy to do!" Part of me—the selfish part—had been counting on her resistance to the idea, hoping that she wouldn't let go, knowing that I could never have left without the hope that she would be able to move on. "I thought it would be next to impossible—that you would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head. I lied, and I'm so sorry—sorry that I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort. Sorry that I couldn't protect you from what I am. I lied to save you, and it didn't work. I'm sorry." I wondered how long it would be before I could stop apologizing to her. Never, I decided. I would keep doing so for the rest of her life, if she'd let me.

"But how could you believe me?" I almost moaned. "After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?"

She didn't answer—just stared at me with wide, shocked eyes.

"I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly _believed_ that I didn't want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept—as if there were any way that _I_ could exist without needing _you_!"

She was still frozen, as if she could not comprehend my words. I shook her shoulder again, and heard her teeth rattle a little.

"Bella," I sighed. "Really, what were you thinking!" _Please, please, _please_ say something! I can't bear any more silence!  
_  
And then, to my horror, she started to cry. I watched in helpless anguish as the tears began to gush down her cheeks. I didn't understand...

"I knew it," she sobbed. "I _knew_ I was dreaming."

It felt like we were going in circles, like rats lost in a particularly devious maze.

"You're impossible." I huffed a hard, frustrated laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Here I was, back in her life at last, and she refused to believe I was real! She really could be infuriating at times, much as I loved her. "How can I put this so that you'll believe me? You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I love you. I _have_ always loved you, and I _will_ always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy."

I watched in dismay as she shook her head, more tears seeping from her eyes.

"You don't believe me, do you?" I whispered, my dead heart throbbing in agony. It was like fate was playing a sick joke on us—perhaps this was my punishment, my penance for what I had done. "Why can you believe the lie, but not the truth?" What could I possibly do to convince her? It felt as though my heart would split in two from the pain.

"It never made sense for you to love me," she said in a broken voice, fresh tears welling in her downcast eyes. "I always knew that."

My jaw tightened in indignation as I stared at her through narrowed eyes. Of all the absurd, ridiculous ideas I'd ever heard, this one had to be the most insane. Well, I'd have to see if I could convince her otherwise...

"I'll prove you're awake," I promised.

I brought my hands to either side of her face—her cheeks flamed beneath them, and she tried to twist out of my grasp, a look of panic in her eyes. But I wasn't about to let her turn away. I was determined to make her forget her doubts about me. I could feel the old, familiar charge of electricity between us as her full lips loomed enticingly closer...

"Please don't," she whispered, her warm breath tickling my lips.

It took a supreme effort for me to stop, but I did. Our lips were barely half an inch apart; I could feel the heat coming off of her in waves.

"Why not?" I asked, hurt by the rejection. Still, some part of me was pleased to note that she looked...a little dazzled.

"When I wake up..." She broke off and raised a hand to silence me when I opened my mouth to protest again. She huffed a quick breath and started again. "Okay, forget that one—when you leave again, it's going to be hard enough without this, too." She cast her eyes down again as she spoke, her brow creasing again into a pained frown.

I pulled back a little to look at her, trying to understand her meaning. That vague sense of unease I'd felt the day before—in Gianna's lobby, and again on the plane—came back to me in a rush, and with a sinking feeling, I wondered if I'd somehow been reading her wrong.

"Yesterday," I began, the words painful as they left my mouth, "when I would touch you, you were so...hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same. I need to know why. Is it because I'm too late? Because I've hurt you too much? Because you _have_ moved on, as I meant for you to? That would be...quite fair." I wasn't sure how I would survive it if she confirmed my fears. But I had to do right by her, and if she wanted me to leave... "I won't contest your decision," I continued with a great deal of effort. "So don't try to spare my feelings, please—just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I've done to you. Can you?" I whispered, dreading the answer.

She scowled at me. "What kind of an idiotic question is that?"

"Just answer it. Please."

For a long, agonizing moment, she held me in her dark stare. At last, she spoke again, the words defiant and assured. "The way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love you—and there's nothing you can do about it!"

_Bliss._

"That's all I needed to hear."

I closed the distance between her lips and mine, and I was in heaven. My dead heart sang as she responded to me, as her hands found my face, caressing it just as mine traced hers... Her heart pounded unevenly as I pressed myself against her—I could feel every line, every soft curve of her body against mine. Her breathing came out in panting gasps...I was breathing harder than usual myself. I wasn't being as careful as I probably should have been, but the monster was still nowhere to be found, and I couldn't hold back anymore. Her scent scorched my throat, but I almost couldn't feel it, so intense was the pleasure—and the relief!—of her warm lips moving with mine. In the brief moments when my lips were free, I whispered her name, the beauty of it caressing the very air it touched. Finally, after so many months of pain, of longing, of despair...it was over. Finally we were together.

I pulled away with great reluctance, only able to do so because I knew she would be getting lightheaded by now, and I needed to let her breathe. Unable to stand any distance between us, I shifted so I could lay my ear against her heart. I listened to the sound which had once made my mouth water, but had come to mean so much more to me—the most significant sound in my world. Gradually, her heartbeat slowed, as did her gasping breaths.

"By the way," I said, just to be sure she was clear on this point. "I'm not leaving you."

She said nothing, but I heard the skepticism in her silence. After _that_, could she still think me capable of leaving her? Then I remembered the kiss we'd shared the night of her birthday. I supposed that one had been similar to this in some respects, like the way I'd let my control slide past our usual boundaries. But for me, the two kisses had been utterly different—the first full of pain and desperation, the second an act of joy...of relief. Surely she sensed that difference as well? But what if she did not? Her silence bored into me, a silence full of doubt.

I lifted my face to look at her—yes, there it was in her eyes as well. "I'm not going anywhere. Not without you," I told her, willing her to believe me. "I only left you in the first place because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life." The words felt empty as I said them; whatever I had once believed, I knew now that it had been nothing but a hollow dream. But I had to explain. "I could see what I was doing to you—keeping you constantly on the edge of danger, taking you away from the world you belonged in, risking your life every moment I was with you. So I had to try. I had to do _something_, and it seemed like leaving was the only way. If I hadn't thought you would be better off, I could have never made myself leave. I'm much too selfish. Only _you_ could be more important than what I wanted...what I needed. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I'll never be strong enough to leave again. I have too many excuses to stay—thank heaven for that! It seems you _can't_ be safe, no matter how many miles I put between us."

"Don't promise me anything," she whispered. Her eyes were cautious, almost pained...

I scowled at her—why was she so stubbornly refusing to believe me? "You think I'm lying to you now?"

"No—not lying." She shook her head, her eyebrows pushed together. "You could mean it...now. But what about tomorrow, when you think about all the reasons you left in the first place? Or next month, when Jasper takes a snap at me?"

I flinched at the memory that conjured. But I'd made my decision already; nothing could sway me now. I doubted I'd have been strong enough to leave again even if there hadn't been enough good reasons for me to stay. I simply could not live without her again.

Bella was still frowning, deep in thought. "It isn't as if you hadn't thought the first decision through, is it? You'll end up doing what you think is right."

"I'm not as strong as you give me credit for," I said heavily. "Right and wrong have ceased to mean much to me; I was coming back anyway. Before Rosalie told me the news, I was already past trying to live through one week at a time, or even one day. I was fighting to make it through a single hour." I remembered the constant war it had been, an argument within myself that had only escalated as the days had crept slowly by. I wasn't certain how much longer I would have lasted, but I doubted it would have been long. "It was only a matter of time—and not much of it—before I showed up at your window and begged you to take me back," I told her quietly. "I'd be happy to beg now, if you'd like that."

She made a face. "Be serious, please."

"Oh, I am." I fixed her with a fierce glare. "Will you please try to hear what I'm telling you? Will you let me attempt to explain what you mean to me?"

I watched her for a few moments to make sure she was really listening. I would make her understand this if it was the last thing I did.

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor." _A beautiful, warm, glorious meteor!_ "Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything." _And now here, beyond the horizon, we've found each other again...and can begin anew...  
_  
Her expression remained maddeningly skeptical.

_...if only you would just _believe_ me! _

"Your eyes will adjust," she mumbled after a moment.

_Adjust? Can a man blinded by the sun learn to see at night?_ "That's just the problem—they can't." Why couldn't she see that?

"What about your distractions?" The disgruntled way she said it forced a humorless laugh out of me. Distractions indeed!

"Just part of the lie, love," I assured her, feeling utterly wretched. "There was no distraction from the...the _agony_. My heart hasn't beat in almost ninety years, but this was different. It was like my heart was gone—like I was hollow. Like I'd left everything that was inside me here with you."

"That's funny," she muttered.

I arched an eyebrow. "Funny?" I was glad _she_ thought so. Maybe, given a little time, I might come to see the humor of this situation...but for the moment I couldn't see anything remotely funny about any of this.

"I meant strange," she clarified, "I thought it was just me. Lots of pieces of me went missing, too. I haven't been able to really breathe in so long." She took a deep breath then, a wan smile touching her lips. "And my heart. That was definitely lost."

I closed my eyes and laid my ear over the heart in question, listening to its strong beat. She had felt the same way as I had...and now we were both home. I smiled a little when I felt her cheek press against my hair, and for a long moment we both held our silence. It was a more peaceful silence than before; it was as if the tension had been drained from the air.

"Tracking wasn't a distraction then?" she asked, her voice curious.

"No." I sighed. "That was never a distraction. It was an obligation." And I had failed miserably, just as with all my other obligations...

"What does that mean?" she asked, confused.

Reluctantly, I lifted my head again so I could meet her gaze. "It means that, even though I never expected any danger from Victoria, I wasn't going to let her get away with..." _...with helping James in his quest to kill you_, I finished silently, not wanting to remind her of that episode any more than necessary. "Well, like I said, I was horrible at it. I traced her as far as Texas, but then I followed a false lead down to Brazil—and really she came here." I groaned as I thought again of how much danger Bella had been in—and how oblivious I had been to it. "I wasn't even on the right continent! And all the while, worse than my worst fears—"

"You were hunting _Victoria_?" she shrieked, her eyes widening in what appeared to be horror.

In the other room, Charlie's snores stuttered, his latest fishing dream momentarily interrupted as he almost came awake. But he sank back into slumber almost immediately, the snores picking up a regular rhythm again. The dream had changed, though...it was a little vague, but he seemed to be doing his best to beat a bronze-haired young man over the head with a fishing pole...

Bella's expression had not softened. She stared at me with outraged eyes, and I stared back at her in confusion. I wasn't sure why she would be so upset about this—trying to track down Victoria had been the only worthwhile thing I'd done during my time away from her. "Not well. But I'll do better this time," I assured her. With Alice's help, and that of my brothers, it shouldn't prove too difficult a task. "She won't be tainting perfectly good air by breathing in and out for much longer."

"That is...out of the question," she choked out, looking even more upset. I didn't understand; didn't she _want_ me to get rid of Victoria?

"It's too late for her," I told her. "I might have let the other time slide, but not now, not after—"

She interrupted me again. "Didn't you just promise that you weren't going to leave?" she asked, her voice a forced calm. "That isn't exactly compatible with an extended tracking expedition, is it?"

I frowned; she couldn't expect me to just let Victoria be—not after what she'd tried to do! I felt a snarl building low in my chest as I thought of that wild, predatory face, framed by flaming red hair... "I will keep my promise, Bella. But Victoria" —the snarl became more pronounced when I spoke that vile name— "is going to die. Soon."

"Let's not be hasty," she said; I could hear the panic in her voice, though I knew she was trying to hide it. "Maybe she's not coming back. Jake's pack probably scared her off. There's really no reason to go looking for her. Besides, I've got bigger problems than Victoria."

I narrowed my eyes, but nodded. "It's true. The werewolves are a problem." A problem it might be difficult to keep her away from...

She snorted, as if to confirm my suspicion. "I wasn't talking about _Jacob_. My problems are a lot worse than a handful of adolescent wolves getting themselves into trouble."

I opened my mouth to tell her that those adolescent wolves were a bigger danger than she seemed to realize, but perhaps this was not the best moment to press that point. Willing myself to remain calm, I spoke through clenched teeth. "Really? Then what would be your greatest problem? That would make Victoria's returning for you seem like such an inconsequential matter in comparison?"

She thought for a moment. "How about the second greatest?"

"All right..." So there were _two_ problems greater than Victoria?

She hesitated, looking uneasy. "There are others who are coming to look for me," she whispered.

Ah. Of course she would be worried about the Volturi. She had a right to be, though I was sure they would prove a less immediate danger than Victoria—they had no personal vendetta, after all...and far more patience.

I sighed, remembering what she'd said before. "The Volturi are only the _second_ greatest?"

"You don't seem that upset about it," she said, frowning.

"Well, we have plenty of time to think it through. Time means something very different to them than it does to you, or even me. They count years the way you count days." _A few years mean very little, when you've been around for three thousand._ "I wouldn't be surprised if you were thirty before you crossed their minds again," I added, trying to comfort her.

But a look of horror came over her face, and more tears started to form in her eyes; she was not comforted.

"You don't have to be afraid," I murmured, rubbing her shoulders anxiously. "I won't let them hurt you."

"While you're here," she mumbled.

She still didn't believe me.

I took her face in my hands and glared into her eyes, trying to make her see the utter sincerity of my words. "I will never leave you again."

"But you said _thirty_." The tears were coming in earnest now. "What? You're going to stay, but let me get all old anyway? Right."

I could not pretend to understand this horror she had of aging. Her glum mood on her eighteenth birthday—_before_ Alice's disastrous party—came back to me, along with all the conversations in the months before that, when she had begged me repeatedly to turn her into a vampire. It was as if she feared I would feel differently about her as she grew older—_I_, a man of nearly 110, who only looked the way I did because I had been frozen in time, unable to move forward. Was I supposed to get worked up about a few wrinkles? Did she not understand the way I loved her at all?

I gazed at her softly, but my mouth was hard with determination. My plan to save her by leaving had been an utter failure...that left only two options, and only one of those was in any way acceptable. "That's exactly what I'm going to do. What choice have I? I cannot be without you, but I will not destroy your soul," I said fiercely.

"Is this really..." She trailed off, looking pained.

"Yes?" I asked, unable to fathom what she was asking. But whatever it was, she seemed to think better of it; her expression shifted, her scowl returning.

"But what about when I get so old that people think I'm your mother? Your _grandmother_?" She looked revolted by the idea.

As if I cared what other people thought. All that mattered was her, and no amount of wrinkles or gray hair were going to make a difference. My love for her would only grow with time, as it had grown in all the time I'd known her. I only wished it were possible for me to grow old along with her.

I leaned close to kiss away her tears; they were infused with her flavor, and I reveled in the salty sweetness of their taste. "That doesn't mean anything to me," I breathed against her cheek. "You will always be the most beautiful thing in my world. Of course..." I hesitated, flinching slightly as I reminded myself that unlike me, she was human. "If you outgrew _me_—if you wanted something more—I would understand that, Bella." If she wanted those things I could not give her—a real human life...family...children. If she wanted a man who could do more than just hold her in his arms at night—a man who could make love to her, as I longed to be able to but knew I could not... "I promise I wouldn't stand in your way if you wanted to leave me," I finished quietly.

She stared at me like I'd gone insane. "You do realize that I'll die eventually, right?"

Pain shot through me at the thought, but I nodded solemnly. "I'll follow after as soon as I can."

"That is seriously..." Her mouth twisted into a grimace. "Sick."

"Bella, it's the only right way left—"

"Let's just back up for a minute," she said, her eyes flashing angrily. "You do remember the Volturi, right? I can't stay human forever. They'll kill me. Even if they don't think of me till I'm _thirty_, do you really think they'll forget?" She had hissed the word _thirty_ like it was a dirty word.

"No," I answered slowly, shaking my head. "They won't forget. But..." I paused, wondering how much I should tell her of my burgeoning plans. Something told me she wouldn't exactly approve. I was confident that my brothers and I could handle Demetri and whoever else he brought with him just fine, but Bella always worried about me when she shouldn't.

"But?" she prompted.

I grinned to myself, imagining the look on Demetri's face when he realized his gift would not work on Bella. She stared at me warily, like she thought I'd lost my mind.

"I have a few plans."

"And these plans," she said, glaring at me as her words grew more and more acidic. "These plans all center around me staying _human_." Again, she uttered the word like it was an obscenity.

It hurt me to hear her speak this way, as though her humanity were something undesirable—something to be cast aside. Didn't she realize how fortunate she was to still be human? My family and I would have given anything to be like her, instead of frozen in time forever...

"Naturally," I told her curtly. She glowered at me, and I scowled back. I wasn't about to give ground on this most important point...unfortunately, I knew from experience that she wasn't likely to either.

After a long moment, she took a deep breath, a new determination in her expression. I released her from my embrace when she gave my arms a little nudge, and she sat up, tossing her hair indignantly. I lay back a little, bewildered as I watched her.

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked. I tried not to show how much that idea hurt me.

"No," she told me, lifting her chin a little. "_I'm_ leaving."

I watched her suspiciously as she pushed aside the blankets and climbed out of the bed. I realized it was probably too dark for her to see very well as she started to fumble around for something, probably her shoes. What did she mean, _leaving_? Where was she going at this time of night?

"May I ask where you are going?" I asked, not sure I really wanted to know the answer.

"I'm going to your house," she told me in a matter-of-fact tone as she continued her search.

Of course. Where else would she want to go in the middle of the night but to a house full of vampires?

I got up, scooping up her shoes on my way to her side. "Here are your shoes. How did you plan to get there?"

"My truck."

"That will probably wake Charlie," I pointed out. Actually, it would probably wake the entire neighborhood. Not that that would stop her.

She sighed. "I know. But honestly, I'll be grounded for weeks as it is. How much more trouble can I really get in?"

"None. He'll blame me, not you." Boyfriends are always convenient scapegoats for a protective father, and he already blamed me (rightly) for so much that had gone wrong with Bella's life.

"If you have a better idea, I'm all ears."

I did have a better idea. "Stay here," I suggested, not in the least bit hopeful that she would listen to me.

"No dice. But you go ahead and make yourself at home," she encouraged with a teasing little smile. She started for the door, but I ghosted into her path, raising my eyebrows when she frowned up at me. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she turned for the window. I wasn't too eager to find out how serious she was.

"Okay," I sighed in defeat. Obviously, she was not going to be talked out of this. "I'll give you a ride."

She shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant about it...but I could see the glitter of triumph in her eyes. "Either way. But you probably _should_ be there, too."

"And why is that?" I asked suspiciously.

"Because you're extraordinarily opinionated, and I'm sure you'll want a chance to air your views."

"My views on which subject?" I asked; I was speaking through clenched teeth again...and again, I was fairly certain I didn't want to know the answer.

"This isn't just about you anymore. You're not the center of the universe, you know," she told me. "If you're going to bring the Volturi down on us over something as stupid as leaving me human, then your family ought to have a say."

"A say in what?" I asked through my teeth, trying to keep a lid on my temper.

"My mortality," she said, with an arrogant lift of her chin as she stared me down. "I'm putting it to a vote."

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**A/N: Whew! I admit, I struggled with this chapter more than the others. It's harder to be creative, as it's a lot of dialogue with just Bella and Edward (without someone else's thoughts to intrude), plus Edward's being quite candid most of the time. I hope I succeeded, to some extent...**

**Please let me know what you think!**


	7. Chapter 7: Democracy Has Its Flaws

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the wonderful world of Twilight; I own a small green parrot. Well, actually it feels more like the parrot owns me (he's bossy).**

**A/N: Again, my thanks go out to all who have read and reviewed this story. Your comments mean a lot to me!**

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**Chapter 7: Democracy Has Its Flaws**

I could see there was really no point in arguing with her. Short of keeping her prisoner in my arms (which I could not do forever, despite what I might have wished), I wasn't going to stop her. She was set on this lunacy, and I supposed we might as well get it over with sooner rather than later. I was fairly certain that she would have some of them, at least, on her side—Alice, for one, and probably Esme. Emmett, maybe. I wasn't sure about Jasper...and I had to hope that Carlisle would stick to his principles and refuse to take away a perfectly healthy human life. At least I could count on Rosalie to vote no...at least, I _thought_ so. Her brand of logic didn't always make the most sense to me...

But it really didn't matter how. they 'voted'; I wasn't going to allow this, either way. I swept her up into my arms and leapt from the window, carefully absorbing the impact as I landed so as not to jostle her.

"All right then," I said, making no attempt to hide my disapproval. "Up you go." I slung her up onto my back and took off running.

This was yet another thing in which I had lost all enjoyment without her. In my life before I'd met Bella, running had been one of the few things I'd taken true pleasure in—a temporary escape from the monotony of my endless existence. It had not been the same after I'd left her behind. Running had ceased to be any pleasure at all, for there had been no escape from the constant torture, all avenues cut off from me except for the pain.

But now that she was here again, clinging to my back like always, it felt good to have the wind in my hair, to feel the forest rush by us, to feel the exhilaration of the speed... Along with that exhilaration came an odd sense of peace—it was almost as though I'd never been gone at all. She kept her arms locked around my neck, and her chin rested on my shoulder, the heavenly warmth of her cheek touching my neck.

We'd covered most of the distance between her house and mine when I felt her turn her face toward my neck and plant a soft kiss there. My eyes closed for a moment as a smile came to my lips. It felt like an acceptance...at last an acknowledgment from her that I was real, and here to stay.

"Thank you," I told her, still rushing through the trees. "Does that mean you've decided you're awake?"

She laughed—a beautiful, natural sound that I'd missed so much. "Not really. More that, either way, I'm not trying to wake up. Not tonight."

"I'll earn your trust back somehow," I murmured, mostly to myself. "If it's my final act."

"I trust _you_," she sighed. "It's me I don't trust."

I frowned, slowing to a walk as I tried to work out what she meant by that. "Explain that, please." We weren't far from the house now.

"Well—" She seemed to be searching for the right words. "I don't trust myself to be...enough. To deserve you. There's nothing about me that could _hold_ you."

After all the despicable things I'd done to her, she thought that _she_ didn't deserve _me_?

I came to a stop and reached around to pull her from my back into my arms. I set her gently on her feet and drew her to my chest, trying to convey through the action the depth of my love for her.

"Your hold is permanent and unbreakable," I whispered into her hair. "Never doubt that."

I could never forgive myself for all I had done...for how I had hurt her, and for how I had broken faith with her. I knew that the trust between us would not be easy to repair. I wished there was some way I could let her see into my mind, to show her that I meant what I said. And I wished (yet again) that I could see into _her_ mind, to understand how she could still be in such denial. I recalled, then, something that had bothered me back in her room—about how the Volturi were only her second greatest problem.

"You never did tell me..." I murmured, pulling back to look into her eyes.

"What?"

"What your greatest problem is." I thought I knew, though...

"I'll give you one guess." With a sigh, she gave the tip of my nose a tap with her index finger.

I nodded; I had been right. "I'm worse than the Volturi," I said grimly. "I guess I've earned that."

She rolled her eyes. "The worst the Volturi can do is kill me."

I waited for the rest, not breathing.

"You can leave me," she explained, her voice soft and her eyes downcast. "The Volturi, Victoria...they're nothing compared to that."

She looked up into my eyes as anguish coursed through me again. She still thought me capable of leaving, of hurting her as I had before. I wished with all my heart that I could take back the last six months, erase the hurt I had caused her...restore the trust between us...

"Don't," she whispered, her eyes pained as she brushed her fingertips across my cheek. "Don't be sad."

I tried to smile, but knew I wasn't very successful. "If there was only some way to make you see that I _can't_ leave you," I whispered. "Time, I suppose, will be the way to convince you."

Her eyes softened a little; she looked as though she liked the idea of time. "Okay," she said, her voice the softest of murmurs.

I gazed back at her, still tormented by my failures. Her warm fingers traced the line of my cheekbone.

"So—since you're staying. Can I have my stuff back?" she asked, her tone a little lighter. Trying to distract me.

I had to laugh at that, though the misery retained its hold on me. "Your things were never gone," I told her. "I knew it was wrong, since I promised you peace without reminders." _Ha! How could I have been such a fool as to think you'd find peace, reminders or not?_ "It was stupid and childish, but I wanted to leave something of myself with you. The CD, the pictures, the tickets—they're all under your floorboards."

Her eyes bugged out, her lips curving upward. _"Really_?"

I nodded, somewhat cheered by the obvious pleasure my revelation had given her. Not that it was enough to chase the pain away completely...

"I think," she said slowly, "I'm not sure, but I wonder...I think maybe I knew it the whole time."

"What did you know?" I murmured.

"Some part of me, my subconscious maybe, never stopped believing that you still cared whether I lived or died. That's probably why I was hearing the voices."

She bit her lip when she saw my frozen expression, and neither of us said anything for a moment as her words sank in. "Voices?" I asked in a flat voice, not sure what to think. She looked...a little embarrassed.

"Well, just one voice. Yours. It's a long story." She was beginning to look as though she wished she hadn't brought it up.

"I've got time," I said, working to keep my voice even.

"It's pretty pathetic," she said, her cheeks flushing a little.

I waited.

She bit her lip again. "Do you remember what Alice said about extreme sports?"

Alice's vision flashed painfully before me again. "You jumped off a cliff for fun." I really didn't want to ask her if that had been the real reason she'd jumped, for fear of what her answer might be.

"Er, right," Bella said, sounding nervous. "And before that, with the motorcycle—"

"Motorcycle?" I asked, my voice still calm despite the turmoil of alarm and disbelief which seethed beneath the surface.

"I guess I didn't tell Alice about that part," she mumbled, frowning.

"No." _Motorcycle? Bella on a motorcycle?_ I could think of few things more terrifying...

"Well, about that... See, I found that...when I was doing something dangerous or stupid...I could remember you more clearly," she confessed, looking more embarrassed than ever. I stared at her, not breathing. "I could remember how your voice sounded when you were angry. I could hear it, like you were standing right there next to me. Mostly I tried not to think about you, but this didn't hurt so much—it was like you were protecting me again. Like you didn't want me to be hurt."

Her eyes had been wandering as she spoke, never meeting my gaze. Now she shot a brief glance at my face, and her cheeks colored still more from whatever expression she saw there. "And, well," she continued, her voice pitched a little higher than it had been before, "I wonder if the reason I could hear you so clearly was because, underneath it all, I always knew that you hadn't stopped loving me." Her words had slowed at the end, her tone suddenly full of wonderment.

I continued to stare at her as her eyes turned distant and thoughtful. I was picturing Bella in various dangerous situations involving motorcycles and cliffs and god knows what else—being reckless, as she'd promised me she wouldn't be. _Heaven help me!_ And she'd done all of this just so that...

When I tried to speak, I found it startlingly difficult—my throat was constricted, refusing to cooperate. "You...were...risking your life...to hear—"

"Shh." She patted the air with her hand, her eyes still distant. "Hold on a second. I think I'm having an epiphany here."

An epiphany. Well, I certainly hoped it had something to do with realizing how insane she'd been! I couldn't stand the thought of her repeatedly putting her life at risk, just so she could hear my miserable, undeserving voice! The guilt welled up yet again—I would never be free of it. For the rest of my existence, I would regret my decision to leave—the worst mistake of my very long life. This was just one more thing to add to the long list of reasons to hate myself...and the even longer list of reasons to stay.

I stared at her for an interminable minute as her thoughtful look changed gradually to one of wonder.

"Oh!" she gasped, her eyes wide.

"Bella?" I really, _really_ wished that I could hear what she was thinking...

"Oh. Okay. I see."

Good, because I didn't.

"Your epiphany?" I asked, not sure how much more I could take.

She looked up at me, her brown eyes full of both wonder and conviction.

"You love me," she breathed.

Despite everything—the anger, the anxiety, the guilt, the pain—in that moment I was overcome with aching joy. I smiled, gazing back down at her. "Truly, I do."

She smiled up at me, her eyes full of warmth...and longing. I forgot that I was upset with her...I even forgot that I was upset with myself. I took her face in my hands and kissed her...and kissed her...and kissed her...

As before, I only stopped when I thought she must be getting dizzy. I leaned my forehead against hers, realizing that I was breathing just as hard as she was. I waited a few seconds—for her to catch her breath and for me to calm down. I may not have had the bloodthirsty monster to contend with anymore, but that didn't mean there weren't other potentially dangerous desires to hold in check. My head was swimming with her—her warmth, her scent...her soft, delicate body, so close to mine...

"You were better at it than I was, you know," I told her—in part because I needed to distract myself, but mainly because it was nothing but the truth.

"Better at what?" she breathed.

"Surviving," I told her. I wanted her to be in no doubt of her strength, to assure her that of the two of us, _I_ was the weak one. "You, at least, made an effort. You got up in the morning, tried to be normal for Charlie, followed the pattern of your life. When I wasn't actively tracking, I was...completely useless." _An understatement to end all understatements._ "I couldn't be around my family—I couldn't be around anyone. I'm embarrassed to admit that I more or less curled up into a ball and let the misery have me." I offered her a sheepish grin, hoping I had conveyed my point. "It was much more pathetic than hearing voices. And, of course, you know I do that, too."

She gazed up at me, her face flushed with happiness.

"I only heard one voice," she corrected me softly.

I laughed and drew her protectively to my side. I didn't like to think too much about what I was protecting her from as I led her toward the house, which her human eyes were probably just beginning to make out. _Might as well get this over with...  
_  
"I'm just humoring you with this." I swept my arm toward the house as we walked. "It doesn't matter in the slightest what they say."

"This affects them now, too."

I shrugged indifferently. I knew she was worried about the Volturi, but with every moment I grew more and more convinced that we could evade them when it came to it. I would calmly explain my theory to my family, and they would see that this...this _lunacy_ Bella had in mind was completely unnecessary.

They were already aware of our presence, of course. I could hear the hum of their thoughts as we approached—they were understandably curious about why we'd shown up at this time of night, but they were also anticipating our arrival eagerly. They had missed both of us. Of course, I could tell Alice was clued in already. She was practically bouncing off the walls in anticipation, puzzling Jasper exceedingly—apparently she hadn't filled him in yet on what was coming.

They did not make an immediate appearance when we entered through the open front door, politely waiting to be summoned. I flipped on the lights for Bella's benefit; her eyes seemed just as greedy as mine as she cast them over the familiar room, which appeared much the same as when we'd left, six months ago. I hadn't exactly been _homesick_ in my absence...I had been far too busy longing for Bella. Still, it felt good to be there, surrounded by the familiar furnishings and scents of home.

I called out to my family in a conversational tone, knowing they would hear. "Carlisle? Esme? Rosalie? Emmett? Jasper? Alice?"

_About time_, came Alice's silent grumble from somewhere upstairs.

Carlisle was the first to reach us. "Welcome back, Bella." He smiled fondly at her, noting with approval that she looked better after some much needed sleep. "What can we do for you this morning? I imagine, due to the hour, that this is not a purely social visit?"

Bella nodded. "I'd like to talk to everyone at once, if that's okay. About something important."

She glanced up at my face as she spoke, and Carlisle looked at me as well. _Important_. He studied my face. _Ah, I see. I think I can guess._

"Of course," he said aloud. "Why don't we talk in the other room?"

We followed him to the dining room, and he turned on the lights as he went, out of courtesy to Bella. I felt Esme fall into step behind me, radiating contentment at having her family reunited at last (and just a hint of anger, still, directed exclusively at me). The others were not far behind. Carlisle held out a chair for Bella at the head of the large, polished oval table where we so often held family meetings. And she was already a part of our family, a unique member of a unique family. A human among monsters.

I was determined to make sure it remained that way.

Carlisle sat on Bella's right while I took the chair on her left. Everyone else took their seats in silence, though curiosity raged in their thoughts. All except Alice, of course, who was already aware of what was happening. She grinned at Bella, images of the future swirling in her thoughts. I clenched my teeth.

Rose gave Bella a tentative smile, which Bella returned timidly. _Oh, maybe this means she can forgive me? She seemed so nice about it in the car, actually, even though she was half-asleep... I really will _try_ to like her...  
_  
Though I was still a little upset with her, I was somewhat gratified by Rosalie's effort to be nicer to Bella. Still, I didn't think she would be in agreement with Bella's plan today; Rose was one of the ones I was counting on to take my side.

_Hey bro, you have _got _to watch that new flat-screen sometime—I know you didn't get much of a chance before you took off. The picture's pretty good—sharp enough that you can almost watch it without getting a headache. _Of course Emmett would be excited about something as mundane as a new television...typical. I wasn't really in the mood to sympathize. _So, what's the deal anyway? What's this important thing she wants to talk about?  
_  
He'd find out soon enough.

Carlisle nodded toward Bella. "The floor is yours."

Bella swallowed—nervously, I thought. I took her hand under the table, watching the others fiercely. It didn't matter what they said, _it didn't matter_... I would find a way to talk her out of this, even if they outvoted me...

"Well," she paused. "I'm hoping Alice has already told you everything that happened in Volterra?"

"Everything," Alice assured her. _I had them on the edge of their seats, Edward—add storytelling to my already impressive list of talents. I guess I have you to thank for the riveting plot, though, if 'thank' is the word..._

Bella threw her a meaningful look. "And on the way?"

"That, too," she nodded. _And you can take that look off your face right now, Edward Cullen, because you're simply going to have to accept that this isn't just about you anymore. Well, it _is _about you, I suppose...but what I mean is that your exalted opinion is not the only one that counts. _Her_ opinion, for instance, just might be the most important one to consider here, don't you think?_

How _could_ someone that tiny be so annoying?

"Good," Bella sighed. "Then we're all on the same page."

They waited while she bit her lip; she seemed to be gathering her thoughts. They were all beginning to understand, now. My jaw tightened as I measured their responses. She had Alice and Esme already...and Emmett, I was fairly certain...

"So, I have a problem," Bella began, her eyes darting nervously between their faces. "Alice promised the Volturi that I would become one of you. They're going to send someone to check, and I'm sure that's a bad thing—something to avoid." I waited, letting her speak. I would have my chance at a counter-argument soon enough.

"And so," she continued, "now, this involves you all. I'm sorry about that." I hated to listen to her apologize, as if it had been _her_ fault that we had stirred up a ruckus in Italy; she always tried to take the blame for my mistakes... I watched her as she looked at each of them in turn, saving me for last. Her brow puckered as she studied my face, and then she looked down. "But, if you don't want me, then I'm not going to force myself on you, whether Alice is willing or not." _Why_ did she have to phrase it that way? Of course we wanted her (well, most of us did, anyway). That wasn't the issue at all...

Esme opened her mouth to assure her that she was very much wanted, but Bella held up a finger to stop her.

"Please, let me finish. You all know what I want. And I'm sure you know what Edward thinks, too. I think the only fair way to decide is for everyone to have a vote. If you decide you don't want me, then...I guess I'll go back to Italy alone. I can't have _them_ coming _here_." Her forehead creased in worry.

If she heard the rumble of a growl that had begun in my chest, she didn't acknowledge it. She didn't _honestly_, after all we'd been through, think for one moment that I was going to let her run off to Italy, did she? She wouldn't even make it as far as the door.

"Taking into account, then, that I won't put any of you in danger either way, I want you to vote yes or no on the issue of me becoming a vampire." I cringed at the little half-smile which came to her lips as she uttered the last word. She looked to Carlisle, gesturing for him to begin. You'd think she was putting a motion before the city council.

"Just a minute," I interrupted before Carlisle could speak. He, at least, seemed undecided...a little more torn than I would have thought, though...

Bella narrowed her eyes suspiciously. I raised my eyebrows, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze; I wasn't about to let this go without having my say. Surely she wasn't averse to a little honest debate? I turned to address the others.

"I have something to add before we vote." I ignored Bella's quiet sigh. "About the danger Bella's referring to," I continued. "I don't think we need to be overly anxious."

_Oh Edward, give it a rest. I've seen it. She's decided. It's _going_ to happen._

Ignoring Alice, I leaned forward, my free hand on the table while the other still gripped Bella's. It was essential to present my case well, to make them understand this. They would agree with me, once they understood all of our options.

"You see," I explained, meeting each of their gazes in turn as I spoke, "there was more than one reason why I didn't want to shake Aro's hand there at the end. There's something they didn't think of, and I didn't want to clue them in." I grinned, enjoying their burning curiosity.

"Which was?" Alice prodded, her expression just as skeptical as Bella's. _You'll find any excuse to get out of this, won't you. Personally, I don't get it. She wants this..._you_ want this, if you'll just admit it to yourself.  
_  
Yes, the selfish part of me did want it. But I wasn't about to let _that_ rule my decisions.

"The Volturi are overconfident," I told them, "and with good reason. When they decide to find someone, it's not really a problem. Do you remember Demetri?" I glanced down at Bella, and she shuddered; I took that as a yes. "He finds people," I explained, "that's his talent, why they keep him."

_Wait a minute, _Alice thought. _I think I see where you're going with this, and that doesn't matter, Edward, it really doesn't. Even if he can't find her, he can still find us._

But I had an answer to that.

"Now, the whole time we were with any of them, I was picking their brains for anything that might save us, getting as much information as possible. So I saw how Demetri's talent works. He's a tracker—a tracker a thousand times more gifted than James was. His ability is loosely related to what I do, or what Aro does. He catches the...flavor? I don't know how to describe it...the tenor...of someone's mind, and then he follows that. It works over immense distances.

"But after Aro's little experiments, well..." I shrugged, confident that I'd made my point.

"You think he won't be able to find me," Bella said in a flat voice, her eyes still narrowed.

I gazed back at her, quite smug. "I'm sure of it. He relies totally on that other sense. When it doesn't work with you, they'll all be blind."

"And how does that solve anything?"

_Yes, how _does_ it solve anything? _Alice complained._ You're not forgetting the rest of us, I hope...  
_  
"Quite obviously," I said, shooting a glance at Alice, "Alice will be able to tell when they're planning a visit, and I'll hide you. They'll be helpless." Once again, I took fierce enjoyment in imagining the look on Demetri's face when he realized how blind he was to Bella. "It will be like looking for a piece of straw in a haystack!"

_And when he tries to find one of us instead, we'll be ready for him,_ Emmett thought smugly. Our eyes met for a moment, and I answered his smirk with one of my own; I knew he was enjoying the idea as much as I was.

Bella looked less than convinced. "But they can find you."

"And I can take care of myself," I assured her quietly.

Emmett laughed. We_ can take care of _our_selves, you mean._ He leaned forward, extending a fist across the table toward me. "Excellent plan, my brother," he said with enthusiasm, and with an answering grin I stretched out my arm to smack his fist with my own. It was good to be back with him again.

"No," Rosalie hissed, her glare alternating between Emmett and me. Images of a different kind of violence were at the forefront of her thoughts (most involved her giving Emmett a good kick in the arse).

"Absolutely not," Bella agreed, glaring at me.

"Nice." Jasper smiled as he added, _Count me in, Edward._

"Idiots," Alice muttered, crossing her arms and glaring sideways at her mate. _What _is_ it about the Y chromosome that turns reasoning beings into morons?_

Esme just glared at me—the phrase 'if looks could kill' sprang to mind. _Don't you dare...don't you dare even _think_ that, young man! You've put us through enough in the last few months without this madness!  
_  
_Edward_, Carlisle thought wearily. _Son, I don't think getting into a fight with the Volturi is the answer. It wouldn't just be Demetri, there would be others—and what if they sent Jane with them, or Alec? You should know better than any of us... _His thoughts trailed off as Bella straightened in her chair, obviously ready to reclaim the floor.  
_  
_ "All right, then. Edward has offered an alternative for you to consider." Her tone left no mystery as to her opinion of that alternative. "Let's vote."

She looked at me this time, probably figuring it was better to get my opinion out of the way first. "Do you want me to join your family?"

I glared at her, wishing she had worded the question differently. "Not that way. You're staying human." _Another way, though..._ I didn't have time to consider further, because she gave a brisk nod and moved on.

"Alice?"

"Yes." _So deal with it._

"Jasper?"

"Yes," he said, in a grave voice. I glared at him, my jaw tightening, and he met my eyes for a second. _I'm sorry, Edward...but honestly, she and Alice are right. She belongs with us now. With you. And, well...I have to admit, it would be nice to be able to spend time around her without having to fight the urge to kill her...  
_  
I noticed that he was holding his breath at the moment, playing it safe.

"Rosalie?"

Rose hesitated, biting down on her bottom lip. "No."

I relaxed only slightly; I had known her vote all along. But with Jasper voting yes, my hopes for a majority were dashed. Esme and Emmett were already decided, and Carlisle...

My jaw tightened further as I caught the tenor of his thoughts. No..._no_...he _couldn't_ be thinking..._  
_  
Bella turned toward Emmett, but Rosalie held up her hands, not ready to relinquish the floor. _Wait, not like this._ "Let me explain," she pleaded. "I don't mean that I have any aversion to you as a sister. It's just that...this is not the life I would have chosen for myself." In her mind, I saw images of children laughing and playing on a lawn, their doting parents looking on. _You might not realize it now, but you might later...and by then it will be too late._ "I wish there had been someone there to vote no for me," she said quietly, looking down.

I felt Carlisle wince internally; over the years he had struggled with what he had done to all of us, but his decision to turn Rosalie had pricked his conscience more than the rest. She had always made it clear that she resented this life, in particular the fact that she could never have children.

Bella nodded slowly, a slight frown on her face. She couldn't know the reason behind what Rosalie had said. But she should think about that—about everything she would be giving up. There were doors which would be forever closed to her if she went through with the change. I tensed as she turned to Emmett.

"Hell, yes!" He grinned. "We can find some other way to pick a fight with this Demetri." _Come on, Edward, it's not like it's the end of the world! You love her, right? And you _want_ her, right? And this way, you'll get to keep her forever. I honestly don't get what your problem is._

He wouldn't.

Bella was still grimacing in response to Emmett's remark about Demetri when she looked at Esme, who gave her a warm smile.

"Yes, of course, Bella. I already think of you as part of my family." And she had, from the very beginning. I could never fault her for the honest love which she felt for Bella...but couldn't she see how that same love was killing her?

"Thank you, Esme," Bella murmured, turning toward Carlisle.

Carlisle was already looking at me. His mind was made up.

"Edward," he said. _Please, son, be reasonable...  
_  
"No," I growled. I bared my teeth as I glared at the man I had always been proud to call my father. That pride was soured now—so much for his principles! He couldn't be doing this, he simply couldn't...

"It's the only way that makes sense," Carlisle insisted, his eyes boring into mine with grave intensity. "You've chosen not to live without her, and that doesn't leave me a choice." _I will _not_ lose my son._

His words and his thoughts both drove it home: this was all my fault. I dropped Bella's hand, knowing that my temper was about to snap. I refused to look at any of them as I shoved away from the table.

If I hadn't run off to Italy, hadn't shown them all exactly what would happen when Bella died, Carlisle for one would not be so eager to end her life. I was sure that he would never have sanctioned this otherwise. I could barely contain my rage as I stalked from the room, aware that they were all staring after me.

"I guess you know my vote." Carlisle sighed. _Edward, I'm sorry...  
_  
"Thanks," I heard Bella mumble.

My path happened to take me a little too close to the new flat-screen Emmett was so excited about. Unfortunately for it. I ripped it straight down the center, taking savage pleasure in the act of destruction. The earsplitting crash echoed throughout the house.

_Hey now! What was that? That had _better_ not be...  
_  
I tuned out Emmett's thoughts. I was beyond caring about some worthless piece of technology. He'd just voted to end a young woman's life. Great. And all he cared about was his stupid television. I shut my eyes, trying to get my temper under control before I brought the entire house down.

"That's all I needed," Bella was saying. "Thank you. For wanting to keep me. I feel exactly the same way about all of you, too," she said, her quiet voice jagged with emotion. I gritted my teeth.

"Dearest Bella," I heard Esme breathe as she embraced Bella like a daughter. I knotted my fingers into my hair as I tried to regain control of myself, feeling utterly betrayed by all of them. Except Rosalie, who had gotten _her_ bad deed for the decade out of the way a few days ago. That little blunder seemed quite benign now, next to this...

Then Bella spoke again.

"Well, Alice," she said, "Where do you want to do this?"

_What? No!_

For once, my thoughts and Alice's were the same.

"No! _No_! NO!" I roared, charging back into the room. I felt as though everything sane was slipping away from me, piece by piece. I bent over Bella, gripping her shoulders, my face inches from hers as I glared at her. "Are you insane?" I shouted, not caring if I was scaring her. "Have you utterly lost your mind?" _Alice_? And _now_?_ No! ! !  
_

Bella cringed away from me, her hands over her ears.

"Um, Bella..." Alice's voice was even higher than normal. "I don't think I'm _ready_ for that. I'll need to prepare..." _For a few years, at the very least...decades would be nice. Edward, seriously, I'm not going to do anything to her until I'm sure I can control it, so you can stop the theatrics.  
_  
"You promised." Bella's tone was acidic as she glared at Alice under my arm.

"I know, but... Seriously, Bella! I don't have any idea how to _not_ kill you."

And she wouldn't be getting the chance to figure it out, either.

"You can do it," Bella encouraged. "I trust you."

I snarled in fury, glaring at Alice. Bella had a habit of putting trust in the wrong things.

Alice gave a panicked shake of her head as images flashed through her mind of Bella lying drained and lifeless at her feet—not visions this time, just her own imaginings of what could happen. _Calm down, Edward, really! I won't touch her, I swear I won't! Carlisle knows how, and he's agreed it's for the best. He can do it._

Bella clearly had the same thought. "Carlisle?" she asked. She started to turn toward him, but I caught her face in my hand, forcing her to look at me instead. I held my other hand palm-out toward Carlisle as I stared desperately into Bella's eyes. Not like this. Not yet, not _now_. She couldn't do this to me. She had to wait awhile, at least...

"I'm able to do it," Carlisle said calmly, ignoring my outstretched hand. "You would be in no danger of me losing control." _Edward, please. I don't want to fight you on this, but I think the right course is clear, now. It's her decision, and I have to respect that._

Oh, so now it was _her_ decision, was it? I remembered how he had answered her the night of her birthday party, and he had certainly changed his tune. Again, I realized it was my actions that had done this—I had doomed her.

"Sounds good," Bella answered, her jaw still constrained by my hand.

"Hold on," I said through my teeth. "It doesn't have to be now."

"There's no reason for it not to be now." The tightness of my grip on her jaw made it difficult for her speak clearly; I loosened my hold a little, not wanting to hurt her.

"I can think of a few."

"Of course you can," she said sourly, scowling at me. "Now let go of me."

I did as she asked and stood upright again, folding my arms across my chest. I decided to play the most obvious card first—it was also the one which I hoped would have the most effect on selfless, usually responsible Bella. "In about two hours, Charlie will be here looking for you. I wouldn't put it past him to involve the police." I wasn't exaggerating.

"All three of them," she mumbled, but the worried crease had appeared between her eyebrows again. I hoped she was thinking about her parents, realizing just how difficult it would be to say goodbye to them forever. Perhaps the thought of that would give her pause.

I turned to Carlisle, still talking through my teeth. "In the interest of remaining _inconspicuous_," I said, deliberately using the word he so often used himself when stressing the importance of keeping what we were a secret from the humans, "I suggest that we put this conversation off, at the very least until Bella finishes high school, and moves out of Charlie's house." At the very, _very_ least.

To my relief, I could see that Carlisle agreed with me. "That's a reasonable request, Bella," he said, fixing her with his golden gaze.

She pursed her lips. "I'll consider it."

I relaxed at the reprieve. Now I had more time to think, at least. They had agreed on a delay, and that was probably the most I would get out of this meeting. At least the immediate danger was past, and I felt much calmer. Still, I wanted to get her out of there as soon as possible, in case she came up with an argument to persuade Carlisle.

"I should probably take you home," I said to Bella, my voice softer than before. "Just in case Charlie wakes up early."

She looked at Carlisle. "After graduation?"

"You have my word," he said quietly. _And _you_ have my word, Edward, that it will be no sooner than that. That's the most I can give you. _

I gave him a stiff nod.

Bella took a deep breath, smiling in triumph. She looked up at me, her brown eyes meeting mine with sober conviction. "Okay. You can take me home."

I put my arm around her and led her out the back, so she wouldn't see the broken television in the living room. In truth, I was also in a hurry because I didn't particularly relish being around when Emmett saw the wreckage.

As it was, I heard his distant howl of rage as we raced through the forest.

Other than that, it was a quiet trip back to her house. Bella said nothing, just clung to my back with her chin resting on my shoulder like before. I could feel the tension from her, though. She thought I was angry with her. In a way, she was right. But I was far, far more angry with myself.

There had to be a way to persuade her to wait, at least. A few years—enough to experience college, maybe enough to realize that she wanted more than what this half-life could give her. There were so many things the change would take away from her, so many opportunities gone forever, so much pain along the way. It would separate her from her parents forever, and her human friends as well—at first for their own safety, and later because they would see the difference in her, see our unchanging appearances over time. The life we lived was always in motion; in our own way, each of us hated the way we had to constantly leave our homes, our lives, even our identities behind. We could never stay more than ten years in one place, for fear of being found out for what we were. Was that really what she wanted, an endless dance of deception for all of eternity?

And she might want children, one day. Even though I couldn't help her with that, she had other options, as long as she remained human. But once she was a vampire...even adoption would have its complications, then. She would be trapped—either in longing for a child of her own, or in constantly putting an adopted human child in danger. What if she couldn't control herself? Over the years she would grow to hate herself...maybe even as much as I hated myself, if that was possible.

She would hate me. Either way, she would hate me.

No, I had to convince her to wait. There had to be something I could bargain with...

I thought hard, all the way back to her house.

* * *

**A/N: Hmm...let's see, what could he bargain with? The next chapter covers the rest of 'Vote' from the book, along with some new stuff.**

**Please let me know what you thought of this chapter!  
**


	8. Chapter 8: A Proposal

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns this, not me. No infringement intended.**

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* * *

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_Over the years she would grow to hate herself...maybe even as much as I hated myself, if that was possible._

_She would hate me. Either way, she would hate me._

_No, I had to convince her to wait. There had to be something I could bargain with..._

_I thought hard, all the way back to her house. _

**Chapter 8: A Proposal**

I would never convince her to simply give it up, not now that my family was behind her. But if I could just convince her to wait... Maybe she would enjoy college. Maybe she would find that she didn't mind being human so much. I relaxed just slightly as I pondered the possibilities. Yes, surely given time she would begin to realize that her human life was a gift to be treasured, not cast aside. But convincing her to wait in the first place would not be easy. What did I have to bargain with?

What would Bella want? What could I offer her that might make her wait, prevent her from running to Carlisle the night of her graduation and asking him to fulfill his promise?

She wanted me to stay, to be a part of her life. But I couldn't bargain with that; it was set in stone now. I couldn't even pretend to use it as a bargaining chip—I cringed internally at the very notion that I would be capable of hurting her in that way. I had just managed to convince her that I was real, and here to stay...I wasn't about to throw all of that away again.

What else? There must be something. I thought sourly of all the times I'd wanted to give things to her, but she was so stubborn about gifts! She even objected if I tried to pay for her groceries at the supermarket, or buy gas for her truck.

We arrived at her house as the barest hint of predawn began to brighten the eastern sky. I reached out with my mind, just to make sure that Charlie was still asleep and oblivious to his daughter's absence. I caught just the tail end of a dream about a giant black wolf...which turned into a bear...which then sloshed into the river and stole the fish off of Charlie's line...

I dashed up the side of Bella's house and leapt nimbly through the still-open window of her bedroom. The place brought an instant measure of comfort with it, and I realized that more than any other physical location, this was the place I thought of as my home. Every object was suffused with Bella's scent—it would have been enough to make me swoon, had that been possible. But I noted with pleasure, as I set Bella carefully on the bed, that the killer instinct was still dormant, no longer a threat to her life.

But there was a different sort of threat hanging over her now—a threat of my making, encouraged by the very people I had thought I could trust. I simply had to think of a way to stall her, to give her enough time that she would see reason. There had to be something I could tempt her with, something she wanted badly enough to make a delay worth her while. I could feel her eyes on me as I started to pace. What on earth could I give her?

She didn't want a new car (or at least, she stubbornly insisted that she didn't), she wouldn't let me buy her a new computer, and she already had me forever. A world tour, maybe? We'd have to steer clear of Italy, though—we'd both had our fill of that particular country for awhile. But would travel be enough of an incentive? Instinctively, I knew that it wouldn't. No, it would have to be something far more profound...

"Whatever you're planning, it's not going to work," came her sour voice from where she sat on the bed.

"Shh. I'm thinking." It would have to be something personal, I realized, something that could come from me and no one else. But I'd already decided that I couldn't bargain with myself, not without being grossly unfair to her.

"Ugh," I heard her groan, and I glanced over to see her throw herself backward, bouncing slightly on the mattress as she pulled the quilt over her head. Despite my preoccupation, this simple action wounded me to my core, and I ghosted to her side at once to flip the cover back from her face. She stared up at me, looking disgruntled but also a little dazzled. I took a second to sift quickly through past conversations as I reached up to brush a few strands of hair back from her cheek, still trying to think of what she might want badly enough to allow me to negotiate a delay. One conversation in particular stood out in my mind: the night of the prom, when she'd thought...

"If you don't mind," I said softly, "I'd much rather you didn't hide your face. I've lived without it for as long as I can stand. Now...tell me something."

"What?" she asked, her voice wary.

I stared deep into her brown eyes. "If you could have anything in the world, anything at all, what would it be?"

She narrowed her eyes skeptically. "You."

I shook my head impatiently. "Something you don't already have."

She frowned a little as she thought about it for a moment. Then the frown loosened suddenly, and she looked at me with timid eyes.

"I would want...Carlisle not to have to do it," she said softly. "I would want _you_ to change me."

Ah.

I had been on the right track when I'd thought of that conversation at the prom.

I was careful to keep my expression neutral as I continued to regard her. I reminded myself that she was set on this course in any case, and if I didn't do it, Carlisle would...and after all, this might be the only way to convince her to wait. Still, part of me screamed in protest at the very idea that I could be the one to take her human life from her. But the rational part of me remained in control, willing myself to stick to the plan. I had found my bargaining chip; now all I had to do was negotiate the terms.

"What would you be willing to trade for that?" I asked her evenly.

She gawked at me for a moment, then blurted out, "Anything." Immediately, she colored, as though she'd thought better of her outburst.

I smiled faintly at her reaction, then pursed my lips. A reasonable number, to start out with. "Five years?"

I wasn't particularly surprised by her mortified expression.

"You said anything," I reminded her quietly. Not that I thought I could win this argument by trapping her in her own words; when had that strategy ever worked for either of us?

"Yes, but...you'll use the time to find a way out of it," she complained.

No, actually, I hoped _she_ would use the time to see that she was making a mistake.

"I have to strike while the iron is hot," she continued, frowning. "Besides, it's just too dangerous to be human—for me, at least. So, anything but _that_."

But I didn't _want_ anything else but for her to stay human. It bothered me that she saw the change as a way to escape the dangers which constantly stalked her path. The idea of her giving up her life for me was bad enough...the last thing I wanted was for her to rush into this because she was frightened...

I returned her frown. "Three years?" Surely that was more than reasonable.

"No!"

Of course not.

"Isn't it worth anything to you at all?" I asked, feeling a little guilty for exploiting her like this. But if I was going to agree to take away her life and her soul, wasn't I entitled to a little time in return?

She frowned again as she thought about it, and with satisfaction I realized that it was worth a great deal to her, now that she saw it as a possibility. But she was careful to keep her face smooth when she spoke again. "Six months?"

I rolled my eyes. Not even enough for one semester of college. "Not good enough."

"One year, then. That's my limit."

"At least give me two." This really was a surreal situation.

"No way. Nineteen I'll do. But I'm not going anywhere _near_ twenty. If you're staying in your teens forever, then so am I."

I felt like pointing out how silly it was to worry about a year or two when she was talking about giving up her soul for eternity. It wasn't as though she was going to change drastically in the next two or three years...or even the next five or ten, when it came to it. I was sure she would still be able to pass as a teenager in our family's little charade, and what else mattered? Esme was several years older than Carlisle—in human terms, at least—and it had made no difference to them at all.

Maybe years were the wrong thing to ask for, though. Something else occurred to me then, something which had been percolating in the back of my mind ever since the dining room 'vote' with my family. I did want her to be part of my family, just not _this_ way. But what if there was a way that it could be both, and perhaps I could use my newfound hold over her to my advantage?

"All right," I said, suddenly feeling a little nervous. "Forget time limits. If you want me to be the one—then you'll just have to meet one condition."

"Condition?" Her voice was flat, her eyes suspicious again. "What condition?"

Why was I so nervous? Was it because we had never even come close to broaching this subject before? Was it because I would be agreeing to do as she asked, to take away her life and her soul? Or maybe it was just for the same reason that every man who'd ever asked this question had felt nervous: because I didn't know what her answer would be.

My eyes still locked with hers, I spoke slowly. "Marry me first."

She stared at me blankly for a few moments. "Okay. What's the punch line?"

I sighed. _Well, that was a let-down._ "You're wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think it's a joke."

"Edward, please be serious."

"I am one hundred percent serious," I assured her. This was what I wanted, I realized. More than anything. It wasn't like it had been before, when I'd always known in the back of my mind that I would try to be strong enough to leave her one day. That day had come and gone, and I knew myself better now. I knew that I would never leave again, that I was with her for the rest of her life...or eternity. Whichever came first. I wanted it to be official. I wanted her to belong to me, and no one else—just as I would belong to her. I wanted to be able to call her my wife.

But Bella didn't seem thrilled with the prospect.

"Oh, c'mon," she said, her eyes wild and her voice edged with panic. "I'm only eighteen."

"Well I'm nearly a hundred and ten. It's time I settled down."

She looked away, looking even more panicked. I couldn't pretend to understand. Bella was brave to the point of stupidity when it came to dealing with vampires, werewolves, the stuff of nightmares...but when it came to an honest, loving proposal of marriage...

"Look," she said, sounding as though her throat had gone dry, "marriage isn't exactly that high on my list of priorities, you know? It was sort of the kiss of death for Renée and Charlie."

"Interesting choice of words." Given what she was asking from me in return.

She turned back so she could fix me with a weary glare. "You know what I mean."

I inhaled deeply. "Please don't tell me that you're afraid of the commitment." She was willing to give up her family, her friends, and her soul in order to be with me for eternity, and yet she was unwilling to exchange wedding vows with me?

Clearly she understood what I was getting at. "That's not it exactly," she said slowly, looking a little sheepish. "I'm...afraid of Renée. She has some really intense opinions on getting married before you're thirty."

"Because she'd rather you became one of the eternal damned than get married," I couldn't help but quip, laughing darkly.

She raised her eyebrows at me, her expression quite serious. "You think you're joking."

"Bella," I sighed, "if you compare the level of commitment between a marital union as opposed to bartering your soul in exchange for an eternity as a vampire..." I shook my head. "If you're not brave enough to marry me, then—"

"Well," she interrupted, her tone petulant. "What if I did? What if I told you to take me to Vegas now? Would I be a vampire in three days?"

I smiled at her; I knew she wasn't serious. "Sure," I said casually. "I'll get my car." I made as if to move from the bed, but her hand shot out to grab the front of my shirt. I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing.

"Dammit," she muttered, loosening her grip. "I'll give you eighteen months."

"No deal," I said, grinning; suddenly I was having fun. "I like _this_ condition."

"Fine. I'll have Carlisle do it when I graduate," she said, her voice still petulant.

"If that's what you really want." I shrugged, and gave her the most angelic smile I could muster. I knew that I had her now. Now that the idea had been planted in her head, she wouldn't be able to let it go, no matter how much she tried.

"You're impossible," she groaned, slumping back into her pillow. "A monster."

I chuckled; I'd almost forgotten just how fun it was to tease her. "Is that why you won't marry me?"

She groaned again.

I leaned toward her, and heard her heartbeat pick up. I stared deep into her eyes, doing my very best to dazzle her. "_Please_, Bella?" I breathed.

She stopped breathing for a moment, but recovered a little faster than usual. She shook her head quickly, her expression obstinate.

It was hard not to smile. "Would this have gone better if I'd had time to get a ring?"

I had barely finished speaking when she shouted, "No! No rings!"

I felt Charlie stutter awake in the other room, his thoughts bleary and disoriented.

"Now you've done it," I whispered.

Her eyes widened in horror; she understood what I meant. "Oops."

"Charlie's getting up; I'd better leave," I said with resignation. _It'll only be for a few minutes_, I told myself. But even that was painful to contemplate...

Her heart did one of its characteristic little stutters. She wasn't any happier with the idea. I studied her face, seeing the anxiety in her eyes. "Would it be childish of me to hide in your closet, then?" _Again._

"No," she whispered. The anxiety had vanished, replaced by eagerness. "Stay. Please."

I smiled and left her side, ghosting across the room to slip into the closet. I wanted to keep the door open a crack, just to keep watching her face, but I decided to give her some privacy to think. I stood perfectly still, surrounded by the sweet, burning scent which permeated her clothes. I closed my eyes and pressed my face into one of her blouses, inhaling deeply but quietly. Her fragrance was mixed with the sharper, less pleasant scents of laundry detergent and fabric softener, but I didn't care...it was still intoxicating...

As I listened to Charlie stumble around, getting dressed, I thought about my mother's diamond ring, one of the mementos she'd left me. I realized that this was the only ring I wanted to give to Bella. It had been safely tucked away over the years, in various homes and safety deposit boxes, waiting for her for nearly a century. Just as I had. Of course, I realized I would be lucky to get Bella to agree to marry me, let alone wear a ring...

I focused on Charlie as he came down the hall to pause at Bella's door. I cast my mind back to when I'd first started coming to Bella house, over a year ago now—I remembered how difficult it had been for me to hear her father's thoughts back then. At best, I'd only been able to make out the gist of what he'd been thinking. With practice, I'd learned to read him much better, but his thoughts were still far more muted and less verbose than the average human's. I'd noticed, though, that strong emotions tended to bring them into greater clarity than usual.

He hesitated outside of Bella's door, suddenly a little nervous. _Ought to check on her again..._ I heard the door creak a little as he peeked in.

"Morning, Dad," said Bella. There was a forced casualness to her voice which I hoped he wouldn't notice.

"Oh, hey, Bella. I didn't know you were awake." His voice was awkward, and I got the sense that he would have preferred to find her still asleep. Charlie Swan was generally a man of few words, and he did not relish the sort of difficult conversation that was in the offing today.

"Yeah. I've just been waiting for you to wake up so I could take a shower." I heard her shift off of the bed.

"Hold on." Charlie flipped the light on. "Let's talk for a minute first."

_And here it comes_, I thought, cringing in the dimness of the closet as I saw Bella's grimace through Charlie's eyes. I wished there was some way for me to be with her, to hold her hand during this difficult conversation. If not for the obvious fact that my presence would make it a hundred times worse, I could never have left her to face this alone.

"You know you're in trouble," Charlie said sternly.

"Yeah," Bella sighed, her eyes downcast. "I know."

Charlie took a deep breath. "I just about went crazy these last three days. I come home from Harry's _funeral_, and you're gone." I cringed again at the word 'funeral', remembering how I had assumed it was Bella's...how the little life I'd had left had fled from me in that moment, replaced by unimagined agony. "Jacob could only tell me that you'd run off with Alice Cullen, and that he thought you were in trouble." _Understatement_, I thought dryly. "You didn't leave me a number, and you didn't call. I didn't know where you were or when—or if—you were coming back. Do you have any idea how...how..." He couldn't finish, all the fear and worry and anger he'd felt in the last three days overwhelming him. I had to admit, I felt for him. He only wanted Bella to be safe and happy, the same as I did. The guilt welled up in me once again—how many people had I hurt with my actions?

Charlie inhaled sharply, fixing Bella with a stern look. "Can you give me one reason why I shouldn't ship you off to Jacksonville this second?"

She wouldn't go, of course. She was eighteen and legally free to go where she wished. But even if he had somehow been able to force her to go to Florida, I knew that I would have followed. For the briefest of moments, I imagined what my existence would be like there, trapped indoors during the hot sunny days, only free to roam after sundown (_like a real vampire_, as Bella had once put it). But as long as I could be with her, it wouldn't matter.

Through Charlie's thoughts, I saw Bella's eyes narrow. She sat up, defiance in her eyes as she continued to stare down her father. "Because I won't go."

"Now just one minute, young lady—"

"Look, Dad, I accept complete responsibility for my actions, and you have the right to ground me for as long as you want. I will also do all the chores and laundry and dishes until you think I've learned my lesson. And I guess you're within your rights if you want to kick me out, too—but that won't make me go to Florida."

Charlie's thoughts sputtered incoherently, and among other things, flashes of my own face assaulted me as he took several deep breaths.

"Would you like to explain where you've been?" _With _him_...that damned Cullen boy..._

I heard Bella swallow nervously. "There was...an emergency." Damn. _Why_ hadn't I spent some time thinking up a cover story last night? I felt wretched for leaving her to do this all alone.

_Emergency?_ His thoughts centered on my face again. _What does _he_ have to do with anything?_ _  
_  
Through his thoughts, I saw Bella stalling as she struggled to find the right words. I nearly growled in frustration. What was she _supposed_ to say?

_'Well Dad, it's like this. You see, my vampire boyfriend left me for my own good...and then I jumped off a cliff just to hear the sound of his voice again, and thanks to his psychic vampire sister (who couldn't see that I'd been rescued by one of the local werewolves), he thought I was dead...so I had to hop on a plane and fly to Italy to stop him from committing suicide, which he planned to do by exposing himself in public so he'd be executed by the vampire mafia... Oh, and did I mention there's a vampire hiding in my closet right now? Go ahead and look...I promise he won't bite.'_

No, that explanation probably wouldn't go over very well.

"I don't know what to tell you, Dad," Bella sighed at last. "It was mostly a misunderstanding. He said, she said. It got out of hand."

Well, that was about it, actually. Amazing. She had managed to sum it all up in a nutshell without telling any lies and without giving anything away. I wanted to kiss her.

But Charlie wasn't satisfied, of course. He waited, wanting to hear the full story.

Bella set about trying to satisfy him with a fuller explanation, her voice halting as she stumbled over the words.

"See, Alice told Rosalie about me jumping off the cliff..." She stopped talking as Charlie's breath caught.

_Cliff? WHAT CLIFF?_

It seemed that neither she nor Jacob had cared to inform Charlie about that particular incident. I wanted to burst through the closet doors and sweep her away from here, to hold her in my arms, to protect her from everything I had done... It took a great deal of effort to focus, to remain where I was.

"I guess I didn't tell you about that," she choked out.

_Isabella Marie Swan..._ Charlie's blood pressure was sky high. _You jumped off a cliff? Oh Bella...Bella...please...you weren't...trying...  
_  
"It was nothing," she told him, looking a little panicked at his expression. "Just messing around, swimming with Jake. Anyway, Rosalie told Edward, and he was upset."

To put it mildly.

"She sort of accidentally made it sound like I was trying to kill myself or something." I cringed again at the painful words. "He wouldn't answer his phone—" (because I'd chucked it into the nearest trash can in Rio—how much trouble could have been saved if I'd just _kept_ the damned thing?) "—so Alice dragged me to...L.A., to explain in person." The first real lie. And she hadn't been entirely convincing about it, I thought. Fortunately, Charlie was too distraught about the cliff jumping to have noticed. It was agony for him to think about what she had done.

I knew how he felt.

_"Were_ you trying to kill yourself, Bella?" he whispered.

"No, of course not," she answered a little too quickly. "Just having fun with Jake. Cliff diving. The La Push kids do it all the time." _Yes, and they're a little more durable, wouldn't you say?_ I thought dryly, letting out the tiniest of sighs as I reached up to pinch the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. "Like I said," Bella continued, swallowing, "nothing."

Charlie stared at her in silence for a few moments; my face was once again in the forefront of his mind, and I could see that he blamed me for everything. I agreed with him there...but I was starting to worry about his blood pressure. He might have a heart attack if this kept up much more.

"What's it to Edward Cullen anyway?" he barked, and once again, I was treated to cringe-worthy images of the Bella I had left behind all those months ago. It was all I could do not to moan out loud. I buried my face in Bella's clothing, inhaling her comforting scent.

Never again.

"All this time, he's just left you dangling without a word—"

She interrupted him. "Another misunderstanding."

_Misunderstanding my foot_, Charlie raged in his thoughts._ That son of a bitch leads her on for months, then without warning he drops her like a hot poker and doesn't even have the decency to call afterwards!_

Charlie's thoughts really were quite clear at the moment. But I wished he'd leave my mother (both my mothers, for that matter) out of it and direct both his spoken and unspoken words solely at me, where they belonged.

"So is he back then?" Charlie huffed.

"I'm not sure what the exact plan is," she said slowly. "I _think_ they all are." The satisfied way that she said that made my heart swell a little.

_No. No, no, no! I'm not having this. He's not coming within a hundred yards of my little girl! Not again! Not ever!_

"I want you to stay away from him, Bella," Charlie fumed, "I don't trust him. He's rotten for you. I won't let him mess you up like that again."

"Fine," she said curtly.

That gave Charlie pause (though it didn't fool me for a moment). "Oh." _She's...she's going to be reasonable? Maybe she is over him, after all. Maybe she and Jake are closer than I thought..._

I clenched my teeth at the mention of Jacob Black. Charlie was quite fond of the idea of him replacing me as Bella's boyfriend, it seemed. I wondered what he would say if he realized he was trying to set his daughter up with a werewolf...

"I thought you were going to be difficult," he muttered.

"I am." Bella's brown eyes flashed with fire as she glared at him. "I meant, 'Fine, I'll move out.'"

I was momentarily as stunned as he was. She was willing to defy her father in such a way, just to be with me? Of course, I would be with her regardless—at night, in the sanctuary of her room...at school, where he couldn't interfere (short of having a restraining order put on me...which I wouldn't entirely put past him). But she was willing to stand her ground on this, to let him know that she was taking me back, in the broad light of day, for all the world to see. Pleased as I was to hear this, I didn't want her to end up estranged from Charlie over me.

Bella frowned as she regarded her father, likely concerned about the obvious upset her words had caused him. "Dad, I don't _want_ to move out," she said, her voice softer now. "I love you. I know you're worried, but you need to trust me on this. And you're going to have to ease up on Edward if you want me to stay. Do you want me to live here or not?"

"That's not fair, Bella." he choked out. _I love you, Bells...more than anything._ "You know I want you to stay."

"Then be nice to Edward, because he's going to be where I am." She said it with such confidence and conviction that he could not possibly doubt her.

"Not under my roof," Charlie stormed.

But he could still rage against it.

Bella heaved a sigh. "Look, I'm not going to give you any more ultimatums tonight—or I guess it's morning. Just think about it for a few days, okay? But keep in mind that Edward and I are sort of a package deal."

I liked the sound of that.

"Bella—"

But Charlie didn't.

"Think it over," she insisted. "And while you're doing that, could you give me some privacy? I _really_ need a shower."

Charlie glared at her for another moment before he turned to stalk out into the hallway, slamming the door behind him. He stomped down the stairs, grumbling in his thoughts about all the things he'd like to do to teach me a lesson. I was grateful that his thoughts seemed to be losing some of their clarity again; I wasn't sure I wanted to know the details.

I darted out of the closet as Bella threw off her quilt, and was already settled in the rocking chair when she looked up.

"Sorry about that," she whispered, giving me a sympathetic wince.

"It's not as if I don't deserve far worse," I murmured. "Don't start anything with Charlie over me, please."

"Don't worry about it," she breathed as she scuttled about the room, gathering up her bathroom things and a set of clean clothes. She was so breathtakingly beautiful in the weak early morning light...it made me ache just to look at her. "I will start exactly as much as is necessary, and no more than that. Or are you trying to tell me I have nowhere to go?" She widened her eyes at me, though I was pretty sure the alarm was affected.

"You'd move in with a house full of vampires?" I asked, though I knew the answer, of course. Bella would happily take up residence in a nest of vipers if given the chance.

"That's probably the safest place for someone like me. Besides..." She grinned. "If Charlie kicks me out, then there's no need for a graduation deadline, is there?"

_Oh Bella, you would have to bring that up again, wouldn't you..._ My jaw tightened.

"So eager for eternal damnation," I muttered. There _had_ to be some way to convince her of the mistake she was making...

"You know you don't really believe that," she said, her voice cutting into my thoughts.

"Oh, don't I?" I fumed.

"No. You don't," she said firmly.

I couldn't help but glower at her. I opened my mouth to tell her that I very much _did_ believe it, that I had spent nearly a century contemplating the issue and my conclusion had been set in stone long before I'd met her. But she cut me off before I could speak.

"If you really believed that you'd lost your soul, then when I found you in Volterra, you would have realized immediately what was happening, instead of thinking we were both dead together. But you didn't—you said _'Amazing, Carlisle was right_,'" she reminded me, triumph in her voice. "There's hope in you yet."

I stared at her, speechless. I struggled to form a counter-argument in my mind, but my mind didn't seem to be working properly... I could not deny that in that moment, I had believed it. Was it possible that a part of me still believed in that possibility...?

"So let's both just be hopeful, all right?" she suggested, imploring me with her eyes. "Not that it matters," she added in a softer tone. "If you stay, I don't need heaven."

_Heaven_. What was it, after all, but a state of utter bliss and grace? Wherever she was. Maybe that was the only heaven I would get. Maybe it was the only one I would ever, ever need.

Slowly, I got to my feet. Was it truly the same for her? Could being with me, undeserving wretch that I was, be her version of heaven? I crossed the room in measured strides and took her perfect face in my hands, staring into her liquid brown eyes.

"Forever," I vowed, still a little staggered.

"That's all I'm asking for," she said with a little smile, and stood on tiptoe so that she could press her lips to mine.

I wrapped my arms around her, lifting her off the floor.

_Yes, it's hard to see how heaven could top this...  
_  
I set her down before I could get too carried away. There was always an edge to our heaven, a line we could not cross. We rested together for a few moments, our foreheads touching.

"Stay," she breathed, her sweet, burning breath wafting over me.

"I wasn't planning on going anywhere."

"I'll only be a few minutes."

"Take as long as you need. I'll still be here when you get back."

She inhaled deeply, then pulled away. "Charlie will want to talk some more," she said, sounding morose.

I chuckled quietly. "No doubt. Do you suppose in another ten years he'll finally speak to me again?"

"I'll make sure it doesn't take that long." She stretched up once more to give me a peck on the lips before heading for the door.

I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes, allowing my mind to wander over the events of the last few days. It was hard to believe that so much could change in such a short span of time...

As always, I tried to give Bella privacy while she had her 'human minute', but it was difficult to tune it out when she started the shower.

Ah. Bella in the shower. I remembered how sensual an experience it could be, to lie there and listen to her move under the water, sudsing herself up with soap...letting the water run over the soft curves of her body...

I shot to my feet, my hands fisted in my hair. _Dammit._ I needed a distraction. Now. Maybe I should step out for a few minutes. And a mile or two. But I'd just promised to stay. Argh! I cast my eyes about her bedroom, looking for anything to take my mind off what was going on in the room across the hall.

Now that I looked properly, I realized that Bella's room seemed quite different from how I remembered it. In some ways, it was a little tidier than it used to be—or was it...emptier? Her textbooks were stacked neatly next to the ancient computer on the desk, and there was less general clutter than normal. But there were a few articles of clothing strewn uncharacteristically about the floor, and various writing implements and pieces of paper were scattered beneath the desk drawer. I bent to retrieve them, and it occurred to me that this may have been where she'd been keeping her passport. How much of a hurry had she been in when she and Alice had left? Well, of course I knew. It had been a life or death situation, after all.

Very few pictures remained on the walls. Her favorite novels were put away, gathering dust. And there was no sign of any music at all. I frowned as I scanned the room again, even glancing in the closet again to make sure. No CDs. Hmm. What had she done, thrown them all away? Then I remembered a snatch of conversation Alice had shown me, of Charlie telling her that Bella wouldn't listen to music anymore, and how he'd found a bunch of broken CDs in the trash. I remembered how difficult it had been to listen to music during my time away from her—every little snatch of song had seemed designed to torment me, to remind me of the things we used to do together. Apparently, she had felt the same way.

Before my guilt could overtake me again (and to continue my distraction—that damned shower seemed to be taking forever), I rushed to the loose floorboard where I'd secreted all the reminders of me from her last birthday. I found them just as I'd left them—the plane tickets, the photographs, the CD of my compositions. I replaced the floorboard and took the little treasure hoard to the bed, where I laid each item out carefully. I smoothed the crease in the photograph of Bella and myself—I remembered how I'd found it in her album, folded so that my side was facing outward and hers was hidden. It was absurd, the way she regarded me.

The shower came to an end, at last. I waited patiently for her to dry herself off... (_Dammit...stop that! Enough with the mental images!_) Finally, I heard the door to the bathroom open and close quietly, and she was at the bedroom door.

My patience was at an end, and I couldn't wait for her to come to me. I flitted to the door and caught her up in my arms, carefully nudging the door closed behind her. I pressed my face into her wet hair, breathing in her delicious scent, relishing the fresh burn in my throat. She giggled quietly as I swung her around in a little circle. I set her down at the foot of the bed, and she wrapped both arms around me, crushing herself to my chest and inhaling just as deeply as I had a moment before. I planted repeated kisses on the top of her head, smoothing over her wet hair with my hand. Finally she pulled away with a sigh, and her gaze fell to the bed. Her eyes widened as she silently took in the objects there.

"Some things I had to return to you," I told her softly.

She nodded, reaching out to trace her fingers over the CD case. "Thank you." Her voice was quiet, but thick with emotion.

"Will you do me a favor?"

She looked up at me, her brown eyes questioning. "Anything." And there was that slight wince as she realized she might regret that condition.

I chuckled quietly. "Don't worry, it's nothing bad. But I would prefer it if you display this properly when you put it back in your album." I snatched up the photograph of the two of us as I spoke, and held it between us with my finger on the fold line.

She colored a little, looking down. "I guess I could do that. It was just that..." She blushed further, and didn't go on.

_Maddening_.

I slipped a finger beneath her chin to tilt her face upward again. "Your face is the most beautiful thing in my world—far too beautiful to be hidden away. And this is supposed to be a picture of our love...half without the other has little meaning, don't you think?" I frowned as I glanced at the picture, noting my cold, remote expression. "Although...maybe we should have someone take another one to replace it—one where I'm not acting like a complete asshole."

"Edward!" she hissed, her eyes widening. She wasn't used to such language from me. Neither was I, for that matter.

"Sorry," I murmured, pulling her close again. "Ungentlemanly of me to use that kind of language in the presence of a lady...but someone had to say it, and it looked like you weren't going to..."

She pressed her lips to my throat, sending a thrill of electricity through my body. "You were only trying to do what you thought was right," she murmured against my skin. "I'm not going to rake you over the coals for that."

"I wish you would," I sighed. "It's nothing more than I deserve."

"Enough. Let's not talk about it anymore. You're back. It's over. It doesn't matter."

But it did matter. I took a moment to consider how things would have been different if I had not left. For one thing, she would not have spent six months in pain. She would not have had to rely on a pack of dangerously unstable shapeshifters to protect her from Victoria. She would not have developed that close friendship with Jacob Black...

On the other hand, if I had never left, would I have learned my lesson? Sometimes pain can be very educational. My time away from her had taught me what she had already known of herself—that to be apart was not only painful beyond anything I had imagined, but an effort doomed from the beginning. I knew myself better now...and I knew her better as well. I knew that her love was as lasting and powerful as my own, and I knew that I was here to stay. And there was something else that had changed, it seemed, something that cut to the very nature of my being.

The was still no sign of the monster.

I wondered again why this was. Was it a permanent change, or would he one day rear his ugly head again, catching me unprepared? I decided I would have to remain on my guard, just in case. But what if he _was_ gone for good? I had lived through an entire twenty-four hours—twenty-four terrible, agonizing hours—thinking that she was dead. Could it be that my very instincts shied away from ever causing myself that sort of pain again?

I wondered what my reaction would be if she were to cut her finger now—would the potent scent of her blood in the air reawaken the monster? Would I have to struggle to control myself, as I had at her birthday party? Or would it not bother me at all?

I wasn't eager for that theory to be tested, regardless; it would not do to throw caution to the wind just yet.

I was stirred from my brief reverie by a noise from downstairs. Charlie was pacing, his thoughts increasingly agitated. With great reluctance, I loosened my hold on Bella.

"Charlie's getting impatient," I sighed. "You'd better go down before he decides to come looking for you."

She nodded, her brow creased into a frown. "I guess there's no point in putting it off anyway." She reached up to touch my face. "Listen," she said, "I'm going to have to spend some quality time with Charlie here, and it's not going to be that interesting to listen to. Maybe you should take off for a little while. Go find something to quench that thirst of yours. I don't want you to be hurting," she murmured, using her thumb to stroke the shadow under my left eye.

I smiled. That was my Bella, always considerate of others. "Maybe that would be a good idea," I sighed. "I should be able to find some deer or something not too far away. And maybe I should stop by the house on my way back, see if they've arranged things with the school yet."

A worried frown creased her forehead. "Spring break is over, isn't it."

I laughed quietly. "Yes." By several days.

Her frown deepened as she glanced at the clock. "Is it really still that early? I wonder how hard it would be to convince him I should stay home from school today...I could say I didn't sleep very well last night..."

I chuckled quietly. "And you wouldn't even have to lie about it. He does know you slept the whole day, though."

"True," she sighed.

"Still, it shouldn't be hard to convince him you need an extra day. Jet lag and all that."

She rolled her eyes. "Edward, he thinks I was in L.A.—I can't use jet lag as an excuse."

"Oh. Right."

"I'll think of something," she sighed.

"Of course you will."

"And you'll be there tomorrow?" she asked, her face brightening.

"Even if I have to bribe Ms. Cope to let me in," I assured her.

"From what I can remember, you're pretty good at getting what you want just by dazzling her."

I laughed again, and pressed her once more to my chest before I let her go. "Go on, commune with Charlie for awhile. He'll forgive you, he just needs time. I'll be back as soon as I can. And don't worry," I added quietly, "Alice told me Victoria isn't coming back for awhile, so you'll be safe on your own for an hour or two." Bella's face blanched a little, and I felt bad at once for bringing up that subject. "Don't worry, love," I murmured, touching her face. "I won't let her near you ever again. I promise."

"Promise me something else," she whispered, her eyes wide as she stared at me.

"Anything."

"Promise me you won't go after her today. Just deer, okay?"

I nodded solemnly. "Just deer." _Unless, of course, I happen to cross her path...in which case I would not be responsible for my actions..._ But in any case, I knew that wouldn't happen, because Alice had assured me that Victoria wouldn't be coming anywhere near Forks—otherwise I would never have left Bella defenseless for even a moment. I backed toward the window, reluctant to take my eyes off of her until the last second. "Good luck with Charlie." I grinned at her final grimace, and launched myself out the window.

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**A/N: The next two chapters will continue to delve into this in-between stuff. Needless to say, there will be a fair amount of guesswork involved, and if any of this differs from your ideas of what might have happened, I apologize (you can write your own versions, I'd love to read them! ;) ). I felt it would be a good idea to explore what might have happened in those few weeks between the end of 'Vote' and the epilogue, and tie up a few loose ends while I'm at it...**

**Review, please!  
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	9. Chapter 9: Green Eyed Monster

**Disclaimer: The Twilight saga belongs to the great Stephenie Meyer. I offer her my thanks for creating these wonderful characters, and no infringement is intended.**

**A/N: Okie dokie, here we go with the first of my two chapters which cover a few events between 'Vote' and the epilogue. Hope you enjoy!  
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**Chapter 9: Green-Eyed Monster**

The wind rushed through my hair as I sprinted into the forest, determined to get my business over and done with as quickly as possible so that I could be back by her side. Now that I allowed myself to think of it, the dry burn in my throat was uncomfortable to the point of pain, even out of her presence. My body ached for nourishment, and I increased my speed, eager to quench my thirst at last. It did not take me long to catch the scent of a small herd of elk, and with a surge of glee I sprang to sink my teeth into a young bull—my first kill in nearly two months. The warm gush of blood soothed my thirst—usually I found the flavor of large ungulates to be quite distasteful, but at the moment I was thirsty enough that just about anything would do. I chased after the herd and brought down two more before I was satisfied. _I haven't drunk that much in one sitting since I was a newborn..._ I glanced down at my shirt as I rushed back towards my family's home—spotless. _I haven't lost the knack._

I slowed a little as I approached the house, suddenly a little wary. My family and I hadn't exactly parted on the best of terms earlier that morning, and I was still sore at them for what they had done. And there was the little matter of the broken television. I searched for Emmett's thoughts, not sure I wanted to meet up with him just now.

But the house was largely quiet; most of them were gone. Alice sat waiting for me on the front porch.

"Did you enjoy your meal?" she asked lightly as she sprang up from the step.

"Very satisfying."

_I didn't expect to see you here so soon...until half an hour ago, of course, when I saw it. I thought you'd be sticking to her like glue for awhile, thirsty or not._

"It was her idea," I told her quietly as we walked into the house. Jasper was lounging on the sofa, in front of the blank stretch of wall where the television had been.

"Hey Edward," he called. _No hard feelings, I hope._

I was not in the mood to answer that particular thought, so I ignored it. "Where is everyone?" As soon as I asked, I saw the answer in their minds. Carlisle had gone to the hospital; he was going to tell them that Esme had taken such a strong dislike to L.A. that they'd decided to move back to Forks. No doubt they'd be so happy to have him back that they wouldn't ask too many troublesome questions. Esme was down at the school sorting things out so that Alice and I could resume our old schedules as if we'd never left. And Emmett and Rosalie had gone hunting somewhere across the border.

_You should be glad Em's in Canada right now_, Jasper thought idly. _He's a little upset with you about the flat-screen. Rose is trying to get him to calm down, but I wouldn't bet on him being in a much better mood when he comes back._ He had a smirk on his face. No doubt he and Rose had already placed bets on who would win if it came to a fight.

"Still no sign of Victoria?" I asked Alice as I darted up the stairs to my room, deciding a change of clothes would be nice before I returned to Bella. Alice kept pace with me, and waited outside my door.

"Nope, not a whisper." _I guess those mutts must've scared her off after all, for awhile at least._

"I'd appreciate it if you would keep an eye on her regardless."

"Oh don't worry, I'm already doing that." _As long as the mongrels don't interfere, I'll see it._

I smiled a little as I pulled on a fresh shirt. "That annoys you, doesn't it?"

_That I can't see anything when they're around? Hell yes it annoys me! I just hope Bella has the sense to keep her distance from them from now on._

I hoped the same thing.

When I opened the door Alice held out a cell phone to me. "Carlisle asked me to give you this. I told him how you 'lost' your old one."

"Thanks," I said, pocketing the phone. I was grateful that I now had a better way to keep in touch, in case of emergency.

_Are you still angry with me?_ She was wearing that trademark pout of hers that she had worked so hard to perfect.

I had to smile, though it was a little strained. "Extremely."

She sighed. _I guess I expected that. I'm sorry._

I shook my head. "Alice, whatever our differences, I want you to know how grateful I am, for everything you've done."

_You mean how I almost ruined everything by making you think she was dead?_ We both cringed at the word.

"That wasn't your fault. I meant what you did afterward. And..." I sighed. "And you were right, Alice. I should never have left her. You were right all along."

"Yes, I was," she said quietly, seriously. "And maybe I still am."

I glowered at her as she smiled angelically. "I wouldn't go that far."

_But you will_, she added, and sprinted down the stairs before I could take a swipe at her.

I made it back to Bella's house in record time. After waiting to make sure the coast was clear, I dashed out from the cover of the woods and darted up to slip in through her window.

She was already there, waiting for me.

"Edward!" she breathed, throwing herself into my arms. I held her to me, breathing a sigh of relief. Even being apart from her for such a short time had been painful. I drew her over to the rocking chair and sat down, cradling her in my arms. I rocked her in silence, and she seemed content to snuggle against me.

"So," I said after awhile. "How did it go with Charlie?"

She grimaced. "You tell me."

I laughed quietly.

"He's still pretty mad at me, I guess."

"But even madder at me," I assured her. I didn't have to be a mind reader to have gathered that much. "He thinks I'm a bad influence, not to mention a jack-the-lad who enjoys toying with girls' feelings."

"We can't expect him to change overnight," she sighed. "Particularly when we can't tell him the truth."

"You honestly think he'd be happier about me being your boyfriend if he _did_ know the truth?"

"I guess not," she said as we both chuckled quietly. She sobered then, tracing one of my shirt buttons with her fingertip.

"What are you thinking?" I asked her, never able to stand her thoughtful silences for long.

"Well...I was actually thinking about life...and death." I tensed, but she pressed her lips softly to my neck. "I don't mean anything to do with us," she reassured me. "It's just that, well, Charlie's going to head over to the Clearwaters' place this afternoon."

"Ah. He wants to spend some time with Sue," I murmured as I picked up the tenor of Charlie's thoughts downstairs.

"Such a terrible thing, for both her and the kids." She sighed, snuggling a little closer into my chest. "I guess it makes me feel lucky, though."

"Both of us," I murmured softly, placing a kiss on her temple. As grateful as I was that I'd been wrong about the meaning of that phone call, I was chastened by the fact that someone had still died. Someone else's love, taken from them forever...

A short time later, Charlie called from downstairs. "I'm taking off now, Bella!" There was a bit of trepidation in his thoughts, as if he wasn't entirely sure she'd still be here when he returned.

"Okay Dad!" she called back. We listened to his heavy boots on the floor downstairs, and the front door opened and shut. A moment later the engine of his police cruiser roared to life and he sped off down the road.

Bella relaxed again; I rubbed her shoulders.

"I told him I had a lot of homework and studying to catch up on," she sighed. "Which isn't far from the truth, unfortunately. I...didn't get a lot done during spring break."

"You think _you've_ got it bad," I teased.

"Oh, right." She frowned. "Are you and Alice going to be able to graduate on time?"

"Don't worry about us," I assured her with a chuckle. "But maybe I should help you with yours, since I'm responsible for you missing a few days. What's on the agenda?"

"Well, calculus, for one." She groaned. "I missed a big test on Monday."

"Mr. Varner will let you take it over again," I assured her, "I've missed his tests before due to excessive sunshine, and he's always quite reasonable about it. Or I could just bribe him, if you like."

She rolled her eyes. "No thank you."

I chuckled. "Well then, shall we?" I asked, gesturing toward the stack of textbooks.

"In a minute." Her fingers traced my face, lingering at last on my lips. I caught up her hand in mine and she giggled as I peppered kisses from her palm down to her wrist, then further down the inside of her forearm to the crease at her elbow. Our gazes locked, and her brown eyes burned into mine. I leaned in to touch my lips to hers, and we kissed gently for a few moments. It was as if nothing else existed in the world besides the two of us.

But all too soon I had to pull away. Not because of my need for her blood, which was long gone, but because there were other reasons to be careful...reasons I'd rather not share with her just now, in case she got the wrong idea...

"Right," she sighed, and I chuckled again at her obvious reluctance as she slid out of my lap. "Calculus."

We spent the afternoon together. She tried to brush off my offers to help with her studying, but I kept reminding her that I was the reason she'd missed school, after all, and shouldn't I be allowed to at least try to make amends for that?

Partway through she got up from the desk and went over to pick up the CD of my compositions from the bed. I watched her with a smile spreading over my face as she popped it into the player. I'd been debating whether to do the same myself, but worried that it might still have some negative associations with that horrific birthday. But as soon as the her lullaby started playing, Bella sank down on the edge of the bed, her eyes closed and her expression peaceful. Without opening her eyes, she held out her hand. I was there in an instant, sitting beside her on the bed with her hand in mine. She smiled and leaned into me, resting her head on my shoulder. We stayed that way until the lullaby was over and Esme's song started playing. With another sigh, she released me and went back to the desk and the rest of her studies. We said nothing, and we didn't need to. No words were necessary, because our thoughts were as one...and at peace.

I didn't leave when Charlie came home, but Bella went downstairs to fix dinner. I lounged on the bed, waiting patiently for her to return to me. I'd told her to take her time, though I could tell from her grimace she wasn't exactly looking forward to spending an evening with Charlie in any case. But the more time she spent with him the sooner the trust between them would begin to heal. I wondered again how long it would be before he accepted me openly into his house again.

"So," I heard Charlie begin uncertainly. They were in the kitchen, in the middle of dinner. I wasn't exactly trying to eavesdrop, but it was difficult not to when my hearing was strong enough to hear a pin drop across the street. In the rain.

Charlie cleared his throat, his thoughts both embarrassed and petulant. He didn't like having to discuss these sorts of things with Bella...or anyone. He preferred companionable silence most of the time. But just now he felt as though events were forcing his hand. "So, Bella," he began again. "Have you...I mean, do you still feel the same way you did this morning?"

"Yes, Dad. I do."

Charlie sighed. "Bells..." _Please...please don't do this...making a big mistake...  
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"I'm sorry, Dad, but you're not going to budge me on this." Her voice was determined, but I could hear the barest hint of pain in it as well. She didn't like hurting him.

Charlie was silent for a few moments, and through his thoughts I could see that he was looking down at his plate, not wanting to meet her eyes. "So..." He blew out a breath. "Have you...called him?"

"I talked to him today, yes." I smiled at the evasive half-truth of her answer; she hated to lie to him.

"And..." Charlie swallowed, and I could feel his blood pressure rising again. "And what did you talk about?"

"Dad..." she moaned.

"What?" He was petulant again. "I'm your father. I have a right to know."

"Dad, I've told you how it is." Her voice was firm. "And to be honest, I don't think you _do_ have the right to know everything I say to my boyfriend."

His blood pressure spiked at her use of that word, and images of my face together with his police issue pistol were once again swimming in his mind. "Bella," he growled, "Listen to me...I know you don't want to, but please just think for a minute about what you're doing. He left you once, and he could do it again!"

"He won't," she said, her voice icy.

"You don't know that. I can't stand to see you get hurt again."

"Dad, please just trust me. Everything's going to be fine now, you'll see."

Charlie just grumbled incoherently as he pushed away from the table and went to rinse his dish in the sink. He stood there for a moment, fuming. Suddenly, I caught sight of another face in his mind, and my fingers clenched convulsively on the bedspread.

"What about Jake?" he asked quietly.

"What about him?" But I could hear the slight shake in her voice.

Charlie turned back to her, leaning on the edge of the counter as he regarded her. She was refusing to meet his gaze. "He's going to be upset, Bells."

"I don't see why," she whispered, but I caught a flicker of pain on her face. Charlie noticed it too.

"You know why. You can't just..." He stopped speaking aloud, but I could hear the continuation in his thoughts. _...can't just drop him like that. I could see how close you two were getting...I thought..._

I closed my eyes, wishing I had stepped out after all. I shouldn't be hearing any of this. I didn't _want_ to be hearing any of this. It was too painful. I knew I should leave, come back in a little while when their conversation was done. But something held me there. Was it a need to understand just how close she and Jacob Black had become in my absence? Maybe I needed to know this...maybe it would help me when I inevitably had to convince her to stay away from him. Just as her father was trying to convince her to stay away from me.

I had the sinking feeling that I would be no more successful in my endeavor than he would be in his.

"Bella," Charlie said quietly, having composed his thoughts a little. "Bells, Jake was there for you when...well, when _he_ wasn't. I remember how...how lifeless you were before you started going down to La Push. I thought...well...you always seemed so happy when you came back from spending the day with him."

Agony ripped through me again, paired with a surge of jealousy. And guilt. _Idiot. Moron. Why did you leave her? Why? WHY?_

Bella heaved a sigh, and finally glanced up at him, her eyes difficult to read. "I...I was happy. To a point. But Dad, it was...it was like a band-aid on a wound that wouldn't heal. It helped staunch the blood, but the wound was still there underneath. But now it _has_ healed."

"And it'll be re-opened the moment he leaves again_."_

"He's not going to leave again," she said through clenched teeth.

"Maybe he will, maybe he won't—and maybe that isn't the issue," Charlie shot back. "So now he's back, you're just going to drop Jake, just like...like _he_ dropped you?"

_"Dad_..."

"No, you listen to me. I'm not arguing about...about _him_ anymore. Not right now anyway. But can't you see how hurt Jake will be?"

"Dad, I'm not dropping him..."

"But you're with..." he swallowed, "...with _him_ now..."

"Yes, I'm with _Edward_," she said, pronouncing my name with emphasis as she glared at her father. "But that doesn't have anything to do with Jacob. Edward is my boyfriend, and Jacob is my friend. Am I not allowed to have both?"

Listening from her room, my heart turned to ice as I came to realize just how difficult it was going to be to convince her to stay away from him—and how much it would hurt her when I tried.

Charlie sighed, feeling defeated as he looked away. "I...I guess I thought...maybe it was something a little more than friendship."

I waited tensely for Bella to answer, wishing Charlie would look at her again, give me some clue...

"It's not like that," she said after a moment, her voice quiet. "It never was, Dad. He...he might have felt that way about me, but I never...I couldn't..." She was struggling for words.

Charlie sighed again, and pushed away from the sink. "Okay," he said, his voice a little more gentle. "That's enough for tonight. I'm sorry...I didn't mean for things to get so...heated. But you've got to understand, I'm worried about you Bells."

"I know. And after the last few days, you have a right to be," she said softly.

"Try the last few months," he muttered. He shook his head. "Well, we'll talk more about this later." I sighed; clearly, there would be many more such discussions in the coming weeks. "But please, think about it. And give Jake a call sometime. Billy says he was real worried about you while you were gone, and I know he misses you."

"'Kay," she mumbled as he ambled into the living room to switch on the television.

I lay there listening to Bella's heartbeat as she remained seated at the kitchen table. I ached to know what she was thinking. That was the trouble with being a mind reader—it spoiled you utterly.

I met her at the door again when she finally came up to her room; I swept her up in my arms and carried her to the bed before she could protest. I lay down next to her and she nestled into me, seeming content. We didn't talk for several minutes, though I was sure I could feel tension in the air.

"I'm beginning to think I should step out at dinner time," I said softly, breaking the silence at last. "It feels wrong, somehow."

"I'm sorry," she murmured, and she looked up at my face, her eyes anxious. "That must have been difficult for you to listen to."

"It couldn't have been much easier to be in the thick of it."

She smiled a little. "No, it wasn't."

We were silent for another spell. Charlie had turned on the television downstairs, but I blocked it out. Instead I listened to the light drizzle of rain on the roof, the steady rhythm of Bella's breathing, the strong beats of her heart... Each moment with her was like a healing balm, soothing away all my pain from the last six months. It was intoxicating.

Then Bella sighed, stretching a little. "What am I going to do about Jake?"

I tensed. Suddenly my feeling of euphoria was tempered by other things. Fear. Worry. Jealousy.

She stroked my face with soothing fingers. "I mean, Charlie's right. He is going to be...upset." She looked down then, frowning.

"Undoubtedly," I murmured. If he did indeed harbor feelings for my Bella, he would welcome my return about as much as the plague.

"Charlie doesn't even know the real reason for it," she mumbled, still looking down. "It's all so silly...werewolves, vampires..." She trailed off, sighing. "I don't want to hurt Jake." She looked back up at me. "Edward..." She stopped then, her eyes studying my face for a moment before she looked away again.

"Yes?" I tried to keep the tension out of my voice, but knew I wasn't being very successful. I wanted to convince her to stay away from him, but I didn't want to force the subject like this. I didn't want to hurt her again.

She bit her lip for a moment, before heaving another sigh. "Did I mention that I'm grounded for life?" she said, trying to lighten her tone a little.

She was trying to distract me, and it was working, to a point. I smiled halfheartedly. "From Charlie's thoughts I had the impression it was more like the rest of the school year."

She shrugged. "I suppose that's what he said." I realized with a sudden twinge of pain that as far as she was concerned, the rest of her life and the rest of the school year might not be such different things. Unless she ended up accepting my offer of marriage, of course... But if she was thinking about any of this, she said nothing about it. "I guess I was reading between the lines," she mumbled. "Anyway, I'm only allowed out of the house for school and work—if Mike's parents haven't fired me yet."

I hugged her closer to me and breathed into her hair. "I'm sorry."

"Edward, it's not your fault."

"No? You mean you still would have disappeared for three days if I hadn't gone to Italy?"

"Would you have gone there if I hadn't jumped off the damned cliff?"

_Touché_. Not that I was finished yet.

"Would you have jumped off the cliff if I hadn't abandoned you in the first place?"

"And would you have left if I hadn't sliced my finger?"

_Ouch. Painful memory alert._

"Now we're getting down to chance events," I murmured.

She frowned, studying my face for a few moments. _"Would_ you have?" she asked at last, her voice quiet.

That was a question I didn't really want to answer. I was afraid of what she might take away from it.

"Please?" she asked, her brown eyes imploring. "I want to know."

I sighed. "You want my honest answer?"

"Of course." But I could feel her tense a little in my arms.

I looked down as I spoke. "In a way, what happened was a perfect storm—your birthday and your reaction to it already had me brooding over your future, and whether we could possibly continue in the delicate dance we'd kept up for months, balanced so precariously between two worlds. Then came the incident with Jasper, which only brought things into sharper focus." I sighed. "But...it was bound to happen sometime, I think. Even if you'd never gotten that paper cut, eventually something else would have..." I trailed off as I felt her go rigid in my arms. I stroked her face with anxious fingers. "In the state of mind I was in _at the time_," I said, putting special emphasis on those words, "it may have been inevitable." I watched her take a deep breath; it shook a little. "Bella?" I said softly. "Bella, please understand...it's not like that anymore, and it will never be again. I've learned my lesson. I'm a wiser man than I was. I'm here until you send me away."

She took another breath, no steadier than the last, but managed a little smile. "Just so you know, that's never going to happen."

"With all my selfish heart, I hope you're right." I drew her face to mine and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Well," she murmured after a moment, "being grounded isn't so bad...as long as you're here."

"As long as you want me," I assured her again, my lips brushing along her jawline. I smiled as her heart rate increased a little.

"I'll have to try to work on Charlie, though," she sighed as I nuzzled her neck. "It would be nice if you were allowed in the house officially, for a few hours at least."

"Give him a little more time first," I said, drawing back to gaze into her eyes. "He's had a lot to absorb lately."

She looked a little guilty. "No doubt about that."

After a few minutes she sighed and said she had a little more homework to do. I stood behind her chair at the desk, playing with her hair and offering the occasional quiet suggestion as she worked.

Later that night, after she'd had her 'human minute' and told Charlie good night, we lay together on her bed, peacefully entwined in each others' arms. We said little, though I hummed her lullaby quietly in her ear. Soon her breathing took on a slower, deeper rhythm, and I knew she had drifted into sleep.

Inevitably, my thoughts returned to the dilemma of Jacob Black.

It was as though he was here in the room with us, an unwelcome presence intruding on our peace, souring my thoughts as I lay there with my angel in my arms. No! I would not let him do this. But I could not help but remember that it was my fault he had become a problem at all.

My feelings about him were so muddled that I could hardly make sense of them. The jealousy was strong, but so too was the gratitude I felt toward him, for I could never, ever forget the debt I owed him. He had kept Bella safe when I had not—the guilt surged like a dark tide, enveloping me once more. No, I could never forget that all of this pain was my own wretched fault.

But Jacob had done more than keep Bella physically safe; he had helped her through that dark time, been a friend to her when she'd desperately needed one. Fresh guilt surged within me as I thought of what had to be done.

I simply couldn't let her continue that friendship—for her own safety, I had to keep her away from him. I doubted he would ever hurt her intentionally, but there was always a certain risk when dealing with werewolves... That's what I told myself, at least. But somewhere deeper in my understanding was the unvarnished truth: jealousy.

Despite Charlie's hopes, I had no real way of knowing how close Bella and Jacob had become in my absence. But I was fairly certain that Bella saw him as a close friend, and nothing more—and equally certain that _he_ saw _her_ as much, much more. How could he not? He'd already had pretty a strong crush on her last year, even though Bella had not returned his feelings. But what if things had changed? What if Bella was hiding the true extent of their bond from me? She'd known I would hear every word she spoke to Charlie tonight—had she edited the truth, sparing my feelings?

Or was her attachment to him deeper than even _she_ realized?

And if that was the case, could I stand in her way? The green-eyed monster snarled within me, protesting the very notion that I could let her go now. No! I would not! She was mine—hadn't we both suffered through enough to be together?

But if she _chose_ him over me... Could I bear to let her go? A shudder ran through me, the pain of that thought too great to bear...

_Stop._ I sighed quietly, trying to clear my mind of the chaos. _She's here with you. She's asked you to stay. She wants you, not him._ I held her closely, taking comfort from those indisputable facts.

But even if it was only friendship, could I ask her to give that up? I couldn't stand the thought of her being down there with him—and with the rest of the werewolves. Anything could happen. All it would take would be one moment's loss of control—from any of them—and she could be hurt...or killed. I swallowed past the hard lump in my throat. No. I could not live through that again. I could not allow her near that kind of danger.

I closed my eyes, a troubled frown creasing my features. Was I being too controlling? Did I have the right to interfere in Bella's life in such a way?_ We're not exactly dealing with Mike Newton_ _here_, I reminded myself darkly. I told myself that if it _had_ been him—or some other bland human boy—it would have been different. Much as it would have rankled me, much as it would have broken my heart, I would not have interfered. I could even have let her go, if that had truly been what she wanted, because he could have given her a safe and normal human life...not that I could stop my mouth from twisting into a grimace at the thought of her in Newton's undeserving arms.

But Jacob Black and the others were not human...at least, not fully human. They were monsters, like me. Volatile, unpredictable monsters, a danger to Bella no matter what their best intentions might be.

Why did fate have to be so cruel? Just when I'd managed to gain control over my own vile instincts, making myself far less of a danger to my beloved, she'd managed to find another set of dangers to fall into. I sighed again. That was my Bella: always a magnet for trouble.

I decided that the best course would be to wait, for now. Maybe it would be unnecessary to persuade her myself; maybe now that the vampires were back, the wolves would be only too glad to keep their distance. And she was grounded for the moment, not at liberty to go down to La Push herself (though I suspected that Charlie would make an exception for Jacob's sake if she asked...I tried not to think about that too much). All I knew was, I couldn't bring myself to talk about this yet, because I couldn't bring myself to hurt her more. Only if she pressed the issue, I decided. Maybe it would all work out for the best on its own.

I didn't have a great deal of hope that that would be the case.

Fortunately, I was rescued from my dark and troubled thoughts when Bella shifted a little in her sleep, a smile on her perfect face and a sigh on her lips. "Edward..."

I was in heaven again. I lay perfectly still, listening as my love murmured my name several times more; each time brought with it a new wave of bliss. "Edward...I love you..."

"As I love you," I whispered, softly enough that I would not wake her, and I placed the softest of kisses on her forehead. I did not think of Jacob Black once more in that long night—there was nothing else in the world but the perfect angel beside me, peaceful in her dreams, safe in my arms.

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**A/N: Poor Edward. He does like to torture himself, doesn't he? Maybe that's why we all love him so much, though.**

**Please remember to review! In the next chapter, Edward, Bella, and Alice will be heading back to school. **


	10. Chapter 10: Back to School

**Disclaimer: This all belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. I intend no infringement, only worship of her uber-cool characters.**

**A/N: Again, my thanks to all of you who took the time to read and review this story.**

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**Chapter 10: Back to School**

"Would you like me to drive you this morning?" I asked her quietly as she stumbled to the closet, looking for clothes to wear to school.

She hesitated, looking torn. "What I want and what we should do are two different things." I smiled a little at the familiarity of that statement; it always seemed to be that way with us, no matter what. "I mean, even if Charlie leaves before I do...well, it might look strange if we arrived together, after...you know. We're likely to be the gossip of the town for awhile as it is. And word might make its way back to Charlie—what would he think if he heard we'd arrived together in my truck?"

"You're right," I sighed. We didn't need things to be even more difficult with Charlie just now. "Maybe I should go meet Alice—we'll come in the Volvo and we can meet you there." Not that I was looking forward to being away from Bella for even that long...but it was the practical plan, and one which would allow us to maintain the proper appearances.

"Is the Volvo here?" she asked, momentarily distracted.

I grinned. "It is now."

"Did they take all of the cars with them?" she wondered. "Except the Mercedes must have been here, because Alice said she flew down..." She looked at me questioningly, and I chuckled.

"Yes, the Mercedes stayed. Carlisle isn't quite as possessive about his cars as some of the rest of us are. Our family owns a number of them, scattered all over the country just like our various places of residence." I grinned again when she rolled her eyes; I knew she thought our lifestyle was horribly extravagant. "Normally we don't bother taking our cars with us when we have to relocate...but sometimes we get attached. There was no way Rose was going to leave her M3 behind, or Em his jeep, particularly after all the improvements she made to them—they drove back east with the rest of them before they took off on their 'honeymoon' in Europe. But Carlisle doesn't get so worked up about it—he sees a car as more of a utilitarian item. So they left the Mercedes here as a sort of fall-back vehicle." I knew Alice had told them all that we'd most likely be coming back in the not-too-distant future...though only some of them had actually believed her.

"And the Volvo? Wasn't it...with you? Before you went to South America, I mean..."

I gave her a tight smile. "Tracking is best done on foot...not that _I_ was any good at it in any case," I added with a sigh. "No, both the Volvo and the Vanquish made their way to New York state with the rest of them—Rosalie thought I'd want them when I...came home someday." I remembered that fateful phone call from Rosalie, when she'd tried to persuade me to just get over my heartbreak—suck it up and come home. At least she seemed to understand my feelings a little more now—even though it had taken the sledgehammer of my little trip to Italy to get it through her thick skull at last.

I felt Bella's warm fingers touch my hand. I met her deep brown eyes, and saw both pain and understanding there. She took a deep breath. "So," she said, her tone a little lighter, no doubt trying to distract me. "All the cars made it to Ithaca...and then Alaska?" She looked a little dubious.

"Why not? It's a nice drive—beautiful scenery." Not that any of them had been in much of a mood for sightseeing. "They didn't take _all_ the cars, though. The Vanquish is still in Ithaca—Jazz said he'd fetch it back for me sometime this week. They took the Volvo with them, though—good gas mileage."

"Hmm..." The little furrow had appeared between her brows. "So that means...they were _driving_ back from Alaska while we were on the plane from Italy?"

I nodded, my lips twitching into a smile at her expression.

"Hmm... Remind me how long that drive takes? For a Cullen, I mean."

I laughed. "A day or so. They were already underway when Alice called from the return flight."

"A day." Her brow puckered, and I knew she was imagining a parade of Cullen cars speeding down the Alcan like a multicolored line of bullets.

"This time of year there's not much traffic for most of the way, especially at night," I explained.

"No need to hold back," she finished for me, smiling halfheartedly.

"I do seem to remember a fair number of potholes, though. Not to mention moose wandering out onto the road—they don't have a lot of sense when it comes to cars." She arched her eyebrows at me. "Reflexes," I reminded her.

She nodded. "Yeah, I know." She turned back to her closet. "I wonder if I'll feel differently about the whole speedy cars thing after...you know..."

I felt my jaw tighten. I wished she hadn't brought up that particular subject. "Maybe you will." I could not help myself. "Maybe it's the sort of thing that doesn't seem so serious when you've already given away your soul for eternity."

I regretted my words instantly when the look of hurt crossed her features. She composed herself quickly. "Well, I still say you don't really believe that," she mumbled.

I sighed. "Just because I momentarily lost my mind and thought I was in heaven?" I'd had time to mull this over since she'd shocked me with the subject the day before. "Haven't you ever heard the expression that once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth? That's all it was."

She shrugged, undaunted. "So in other words, you thought it was improbable but possible that you were with me in heaven...but _impossible_ that Alice was wrong, or Rosalie had lied, or the funeral was for someone else, or any number of things which could have meant I was still alive? That's something, isn't it?"

My mouth twitched as I fought a smile; I had to admit, she had a point there. That didn't mean I was ready to believe that I still had a soul. Momentary insanity was as good an explanation as anything else for my behavior that day.

Bella shook her head then, shuddering a little. "Edward, do me a favor: check more thoroughly next time."

Despite her grim look, I had to laugh. I went to encircle her in my arms, her warmth and vitality chasing away the demons which haunted me. "Don't worry; I've learned my lesson there as well." I kissed the top of her head. "I should go. Promise me you'll drive safely on the way to school."

"Because I really don't want to hurt anyone else with my truck," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Right. My concern is purely for the other drivers on the road."

"Mmm." Her eyes sparkled as she looked up at me. "Maybe I need a good luck kiss?"

I chuckled, and took her face delicately in my hands. "I'd be happy to oblige, Miss Swan." I touched my lips carefully to hers, and we kissed gently for a few moments before I pulled away. "There," I murmured. "That ought to ensure a little good fortune for you—if being kissed by a vampire counts, that is."

"It counts," she breathed. "The only problem is, now I'll be dizzy."

"It'll wear off," I assured her as I reluctantly stepped away. "I'll see you at school."

I sprinted to my family's house, hating every bit of distance I put between us. When I'd gone most of the way there, I almost decided to turn back. My mind kept conjuring up visions of Victoria creeping up on Bella's house while I was away, or pouncing on her truck from the side of the road. I told myself that this was foolish, that Alice had clearly seen nothing of Victoria returning to Forks in the near future, and that if anything changed she was only a phone call away. But I couldn't help my agitation—wasn't it too much of a risk to leave Bella alone like this with Victoria on the loose, even with Alice's predictions? Hell, that hunting trip I'd taken yesterday seemed the height of irresponsibility now! Maybe I should just go back...I could call Alice and tell her to meet me partway somewhere, so I could shadow Bella on her way to school, in case Victoria made an appearance...

_Stop it_, I told myself furiously. _She's not there, and it's only a few minutes..._ But my agitation did not subside—what about the times when I'd have to be away longer? By the time I reached the house, I was already forming a plan in my head.

"Jazz," I said as I burst through the door. I found him standing with Alice in the living room; they were standing very close, their hands interlocked. Alice scowled at me for interrupting their private moment, but Jasper was a little alarmed at my state of anxiety.

_What's wrong Edward? Is she all right?_

"Fine," I answered. _As far as I _know_, at least..._ "But I wondered if there was something you could do for me, if it's not too much to ask." I explained my anxieties about leaving Bella on her own, even for just a few minutes.

"Oh Edward, really," Alice sighed, interrupting me. "Haven't I told you twice now that I haven't seen a whisper of Victoria coming back? When she decides to, I'll see it." _You worry too much. And you're making poor Jasper edgy.  
_  
"And I appreciate your efforts, truly I do," I assured her. "But what about the wolves Alice? You've admitted you can't see anything when they're involved—what if Victoria somehow uses that to her advantage?"

"And how would she find out about that?" Alice asked bluntly. "I'm sure she knows by now that we have certain talents—thank Laurent and his erstwhile friendship with the Denalis for that—but I doubt very much that she has any idea about the effect the wolves have on me." _Not that I wouldn't relish sending the whole lot of them to the pound anyway...stupid mongrels...  
_  
Despite my anxiety, I had to smile at her irritation. "Still," I sighed, "I'd feel better if she was on her own as little as possible, and I can't be there all the time. Even just a few minutes feels like too long...and whether Victoria knows about the wolves or not, some freak circumstance might—"

"You want me to go over there right now and keep an eye on things?" Jasper interrupted me. His face was grave, but in truth he found my overprotectiveness rather amusing.

Alice rolled her eyes. "We'll be meeting her at the school in ten minutes." _For crying out loud, Edward, get a grip!_

I took several deep breaths, closing my eyes. What exactly was I asking of Jasper? To run around in the woods behind Bella's house whenever I had to be away? Was that an overreaction, as Alice so obviously thought? I felt myself calming a little. _Ten minutes._ That wasn't too long. And I knew I was wrong to have so little faith in Alice.

"Never mind," I sighed. "But maybe when I go hunting..."

"We'll make sure someone is there when you have to be gone longer," Alice said firmly. "But I really don't think Victoria is coming back anytime soon."

"I know. It's just...so hard..."

She laid a comforting hand on my arm. "I know." _You've been away from her for so long; I understand._

"I just feel...so out of control when we're apart," I admitted. _Crazy, more like...  
_  
"Don't I know it," Jasper put in darkly. _Seriously Edward, you need to calm down._ And I felt him using his power to do just that; it helped, a little. _Alice has a handle on things, _he continued, holding my gaze, _and Victoria would be stupid to try anything now that we're back. I'm with you whenever you want to hunt her down, though. I don't think even Carlisle would protest.  
_

I sighed again, and gave him a nod.

"Well," Alice said briskly. "Shall we? All your school stuff is already in the car."

"Thanks." I went out to the garage to give her a private moment with Jasper. I knew that in their own way, it was just as difficult for them to be apart as it was for Bella and me. At least _we_ still had school to be together. I knew that the next time we started high school over again, wherever and whenever that might be, they would probably insist on being put into the same grade so they wouldn't have to deal with the separation. I knew Jasper was tired of pretending to be Rosalie's twin anyway.

Alice joined me after a short while, her expression content as she slid into the passenger seat. _So, is the panic attack over now?_

I smiled as I pulled out of the garage. I really was going to have to calm down, I realized. Bella had survived my prolonged absence, after all. Just. And danger had never been far away... I stepped on the gas, tearing down the long driveway faster than usual. Beside me, Alice sighed, and sank into her visions for a few moments, showing me plainly that Bella was going to be just fine for the foreseeable future. I relaxed a little, but I could never completely forget my worries. Even if Victoria had been scared off for the present, there was no doubt in my mind that she would be back, one day. We had to be ready.

I slowed down to a more reasonable speed when we hit town, and breathed a sigh of relief when I reached the school parking lot to see Bella's truck just pulling into a parking space. I pulled in beside her and leaped out, barely managing to remind myself to move at human speed as I ran around to the driver's side of the truck and pulled open her door for her. She grinned as I helped her out.

"How was your drive?" I asked her as I cuddled her in my arms.

"Lonely," she sighed.

"So was mine ," I chuckled.

_Gee, thanks for the compliment_, Alice grumbled silently as she tarried a few feet away. I arched an eyebrow at her, and Bella followed my gaze.

"Alice!" Bella flew into her arms, and Alice grinned as she hugged her.

"Hey Bella! Ready for things to get back to normal?"

"Am I ever!" Bella laughed, though she sobered again as she glanced self-consciously at the other arriving students. I was a little glad that she couldn't hear their thoughts as I wrapped my arm around her waist.

_Oh. My. God. Omigod! I do not flipping believe it. He's _back_. Edward. Freaking. Cullen. And his freaktastic sister too! And...what the..? They're _together_ again? You'd think he would have found someone else in sunny L.A.—what does he _see_ in her? I never understood it...  
_  
Jessica's mind never had been my favorite to listen to. I could hear similar thoughts from Lauren Mallory and a few others as they stared at us, making no attempt to hide either their curiosity or their shock.

_Oh my...oh Bella! He...he came back?_ Angela was surprised and confused, but as always, her thoughts were full of a warmth and concern for Bella that Jessica's lacked. _I thought the whole family left for good...and the way Bella reacted, I was sure they'd broken up... But we never really talked afterward...maybe I got the wrong end of the stick? She certainly looks happy now. I never understood how it could have ended so abruptly—one minute they're practically joined at the hip and the next... Well, I guess it's none of my business. But I hope he doesn't hurt her again, whatever happened the first time...I don't think I could stand to see her that way again...  
_  
I could not fault Angela for her honest concern for her friend—a concern which was more than justified, given what I had done. I could only hope that my return would not put any strain on their friendship...it seemed that my absence had already done enough to cut Bella off from her classmates.

_What the f**k is _he_ doing here?_ Mike Newton was seething with fury, and several more expletives sounded loudly in his thoughts. _He's got a nerve! After hurting her like that, what, he thinks its okay to just swan back into her life like nothing happened? Argh! I want to rip his head off!_

His thoughts dissolved into incoherent rage as we walked calmly past. It really was quite fortunate for Mike that he lacked the courage to follow through on his silent threats. I didn't really want to end up ripping _his_ head off, after all.

_First that Jacob kid, and now _he's_ back_, I heard Mike grumble as his thoughts briefly made sense again. _Why can't it ever be me? Why can't she be _my_ girl?_ And at that, I caught the beginnings of a fantasy involving him and Bella lounging in a jacuzzi...

Well, _most_ of the time I didn't really want to rip his head off. There were definitely exceptions...

We remained the focus of both whispered gossip and silent musings throughout that first day. But I was able to tune most of it out, largely thanks to the fact I got to sit next to the girl of my dreams (figuratively speaking, of course) in almost every class. In the cafeteria, Alice and I sat with Bella at the end of the long table we'd shared back in September, and I was pleased that Angela and Ben sat near us—at least our return hadn't isolated Bella from _all_ of her human friends. Everyone else kept to their end of the table, shooting us frequent glances as their whispered speculations about us continued.

Angela didn't question us much—it wasn't in her nature to be nosy, no matter how curious she might be. She was still a little wary, out of concern for Bella's emotional well-being, but a contented smile came to her face as she gazed at our clasped hands resting on the table. _They seem so happy again...like they were never apart. I still don't understand, but...well, it _is_ good to see Bella like this again. They always seemed so right for each other, before. Maybe it'll work out this time.  
_

"I'm glad you're both back," she said with a shy smile as she glanced at Alice, then back to me. "It...well, it hasn't been quite the same without you."

_No, it _wasn't_ the same...it was a lot better_, came Mike's silent grumble from further down the table. I bit my lip, trying not to laugh.

"Thank you," I said to Angela, dipping my head as I rubbed my thumb along the knuckles of Bella's hand. "It's good to be back." Alice just grinned.

Jessica, sitting a few people away, leaned forward so she could frown at us. "Was there a _reason_ you didn't keep in touch, Edward? I mean, most people are capable of calling every once in awhile—would it have killed you to pick up the phone?" She glanced at Bella, and I saw memories of her sitting alone, looking dejected. _What's the deal? I could have _sworn_ he dumped her—why else would she have been so depressed? She wouldn't talk to anyone...she wouldn't even eat. I mean, who acts that way just because a guy walks out on her? It was really getting on my nerves, not to mention freaking me out. God, I'll never forget that night we went to the movies in Port Angeles..._ To my horror, I watched a brief replay of Bella walking haltingly toward a group of drunken men outside a bar...

_"Jess_..." Angela hissed, looking pained; she was mortified that her statement of support and friendship had drawn in Jessica's insatiable curiosity. _Let's just keep the peace, please...?  
_  
"It's okay Angela," Bella mumbled, her cheeks flushing slightly. She spoke louder as she glanced toward Jessica and the others. "It...it was my fault, really."

"It was more mine, actually," I corrected her, frowning as I snapped out of my dark contemplations of the men in Port Angeles. I absolutely refused to let Bella take the blame for something that had in fact been almost entirely _my_ fault. "A misunderstanding. He said, she said...it got out of hand." I noticed Bella smile slightly at my re-use of the words she'd spoken to her father the day before. I squeezed her hand.

"I...see." Jessica's eyes narrowed suspiciously, but she didn't press the issue. _Hmph. Like _that_ clears anything up. I still can't believe he wants to be with her. Guess it's true what they say: there's really no accounting for taste...  
_  
I found myself clenching my jaw a little at Jessica's spiteful musings, though Angela's next thoughts did something to soothe me. _Oh, well that's a relief, actually...and hopefully they've got it all sorted out now. It never made sense to me that he would leave—it was so obvious how much he loved her. And still does.  
_  
I was glad that Bella had at least one human friend who truly cared about her.

As we sat down together in our next class, I couldn't help but remember what I'd seen in Jessica's thoughts, about the men in Port Angeles. The recollection was better than most human memories, probably due to the fear. But it had been dark, and the images weren't quite defined enough for me to tell whether any of the men had been the same as the ones Bella had encountered the previous year. At least I knew that 'Lonnie', the ringleader of the group and a serial rapist, was safely behind bars in another state.

But it didn't really matter who those men had been, because they had obviously been drunk, and Bella shouldn't have been going anywhere near them. I stared at her, frowning, and let out a heavy sigh. _No sense of self-preservation._

"What?" Bella asked, looking a little worried as she took in my expression.

"Bella," I said, quietly enough that the rest of the filling classroom couldn't hear, "I swear you're going to give me a heart attack one of these days." _Not the easiest thing to do, that._

"What did I do now?"

"Would you mind telling me about movie night with Jessica in Port Angeles?"

Her eyes widened. "Oh." Her cheeks grew red, and she looked guilty. "That."

I closed my eyes, remembering her confessions about the motorcycle. "Let me guess...you decided to approach a group of drunks so you could hear the sound of my voice?"

"Well...not exactly," she murmured. My eyes flew open; she looked away, refusing to meet them.

"No? You had _another_ reason?" This, I couldn't wait to hear. "Please, enlighten me."

Her brow puckered. "Well...do you remember what we said the day you...left?"

"Every word. I seem to remember making you promise not to do anything _reckless _or_ stupid_," I said through clenched teeth.

"That's right. And in return, you promised it would be as if you'd never existed."

I stared at her, not quite seeing her point.

She sighed. "You see...as far as I was concerned, _that_ promise was broken the moment the words left your mouth. Because really, how was I supposed to forget you? So...I guess I felt like breaking my promise in return. It was sort of tit for tat, I suppose."

I thought about that for a minute while I forced myself to calm down. I kept my expression smooth, so as not to alarm any of the other students. "So," I said casually. "You didn't hear my voice then?"

"Actually, that was the first time," she said, her cheeks coloring further. "You kept telling me to stop being stupid and go back to Jessica."

"Smart advice."

"Yeah, I guess I knew that at the time. But it was just so...so wonderful to hear you again. I wanted it to last as long as possible. But then I saw..." She trailed off, looking as though she didn't want to continue.

"Saw what?"

She sighed reluctantly. "I saw that they weren't the _same_ men," she whispered.

I raised my eyebrows.

"And as soon as I realized that," she went on, "your voice went away. It was like you could only be there when the danger seemed real."

"And did it occur to you that just because it wasn't the _same_ group of men, they might still be dangerous?" It was a real struggle to keep my voice quiet and even.

I heard Lauren snickering on the other side of the classroom. _Wow, they're already fighting again...I'd give it 'til the end of next week at the most..._ The glare I shot her way erased the smirk from her face. _Whoa... He's hot, but sometimes he scares the crap out of me..._

Bella winced at me, thankfully oblivious to Lauren's thoughts. "I guess you have a point. But I wasn't getting the same vibes off of them...they were just a bunch of college kids having a fun night out."

I rolled my eyes, willing patience. "Thank god I'm back. You obviously have no idea how to look after yourself."

She half-smiled, squeezing my hand under the desk. "Sorry. I'll try to behave myself from now on. You have to realize, I'd gone a little crazy by that point."

And there was the guilt again. I doubted I'd ever escape it.

"And this was how you got the idea of motorcycles and jumping off cliffs?" I breathed, still so quiet that only she could hear.

"Pretty much," she admitted. She squeezed my hand again. "I'm sorry. I know I was being stupid, but it's over now. Let's not talk about it."

I could only nod as I rubbed my thumb over her fingers, relishing the feel of her silky skin. But it was difficult to clear my mind of all the things she had done to try to hold onto my memory. I supposed the pain was good for me though—I deserved to feel pain. In a strange way, it was healing...like a cleansing fire.

Our next class was the one I'd been least looking forward to, the only hour in the schedule that we had apart. Bella and I walked hand in hand to Mr. Varner's classroom, our arms swinging gently between us (oh, how I wished I hadn't gotten through with Calculus a year early!). The tension between us had melted again, and it was just the two of us, impossibly in love. She turned to face me when we'd reached the door, and I drew her to the side to say our goodbyes.

I remembered the first time I had walked her to Gym, when our relationship had been in its infancy—how I had lost the battle with my self-control and reached out to brush my fingers across her cheek. My fingertips had burned for hours with the memory of that touch, as I had berated myself over and over for putting her in such danger, for always wanting more...

How far we had come!

She smiled up at me, but there was an edge to that smile; she didn't want want us to be separated any more than I did. I gave her my best crooked smile as I brushed my knuckles down her cheek, and heard her breath catch in her throat. My smile turned a little impish as I heard a familiar mind approaching from behind. _Hmm...this could be fun...in more ways than one..._ Cupping Bella's face tenderly in my hands, I bent to kiss her. I allowed myself to linger there for awhile, my lips working in gentle rhythm with hers. The part of me that was paying attention smiled inwardly as the approaching thoughts turned murderous behind me.

When I pulled back at last, Bella was flushed and breathless but smiling broadly. I kissed her once more on the forehead before I let her go.

"I'll see you after class," I murmured.

All she could do was nod. Grinning, I turned to head off to my own class, barely taking note of the several girls who had all but passed out nearby. But I couldn't help the little chuckle that escaped me as I sauntered past an absolutely furious Mike Newton.

The next hour passed excruciatingly slowly, though I kept tabs on Bella through her classmates. I kept a very small amount of my attention on my own class, but really, I wasn't very aware of anything around me. I was too lost in my own thoughts, as well as those of the students in Bella's class. I tried to do as she had asked and forget about the incident with the drunken men...but that was proving very hard to do. It didn't help that Jessica occasionally strayed back to them in her thoughts, still wondering if Bella had lost her mind. I gritted my teeth and tried to block it out, focusing instead on Angela and her gentler perceptions.

Why did it bother me so much, even now? The danger was long past, and Bella would never do such a thing again—she had no reason to now (not that there had been much of a reason _then_). But maybe I wasn't worried so much about a bunch of drunks. Maybe I was worried that if she could perceive _them_ as less than dangerous, she might feel the same way about a certain wolfpack...

It was a very long hour.

But finally it came to an end, and I flew (at a reasonable human sprint) to meet her outside her class. She smiled when she saw me, and I took her hand. Just like that all my worries melted; I was home.

I kissed her temporarily goodbye as I helped her into the truck, then watched her drive away before I slid into the Volvo. Alice was lounging in the passenger seat already.

_What a day! Everyone was staring at me, you know, like I was from another planet or something...  
_  
I smiled. "You think _you_ had it bad," I murmured as I pulled out of the parking lot. I was determined to reach our secluded driveway as soon as possible, so I could leave the car with Alice and run home to Bella.

_Right. I'm sure it was worse for you. But at least you had Bella to endure it with._ She sighed, and I caught a wistful image of Jasper in her thoughts.

"You'll be with him soon enough," I chuckled. _Just as I'll be with my Bella._ "Do me a favor and check on Victoria again."

She heaved another sigh. _Really, Edward, you are _such_ a worrywart..._ But she did as I asked, and I relaxed again when she found nothing alarming.

"Thank you," I breathed. And then I frowned, for I'd caught something fleeting on the edge of her mind, something she was trying to keep from me. "Did you have a vision in school while I wasn't paying attention?"

"Um, sort of," she said aloud, her voice pitched a little higher than normal.

"_Alice_..."

"It's nothing to worry about, really. I would have told you if it was something that bad." _I'm sure he won't actually _kill_ you. Esme would never forgive him for that._

"Ah." I watched as she finally played the entire vision in her mind. I must have been so wrapped up in Bella that I'd missed it, earlier. "So, they'll be back from Canada soon?"

"Not terribly soon. Towards the end of next week, I think."

"And you _were_ going to warn me sometime before then, yes?" I eyed her narrowly.

_Of course I was. But you would have had enough of a warning beforehand anyway._ She reached over and tapped my temple with her index finger.

"True," I sighed. We were nearing the turn-off for our long driveway. "So can you see who wins?"

"Not really." _That's the thing about brawling—it can be so unpredictable, especially when it's a match between an impossibly strong, hulking gorilla and a speedy, cheating mind reader. Don't worry, though. I foresee that whoever wins, Emmett will forgive you afterward._

"Of course he will." I came to a stop in the driveway, just out of sight of the main road.

_I'll see you later then. Maybe I can come over...  
_  
"Don't push Charlie just yet, please," I said as we both got out, leaving the engine running.

_Are you kidding? He adores me. Even if I _am_ the sister of the boy he'd like to ram headfirst into a brick wall._ She looked at me slyly as she skipped around to the driver's side of the car. _Of course, maybe the real reason you don't want me to come over is because you want her all to yourself for awhile...  
_  
"Is that too much to ask? I've got about six months to catch up on, after all..."

_Point taken._ She grinned and stood on tiptoe to give me a peck on the cheek. _Have fun then._

"You too," I said, smirking as I noticed the decidedly intimate tenor of her thoughts as they turned toward Jasper again.

She kicked me in the shin. _Shut up. I've been away from him for almost a week—we have some catching up to do too, you know.  
_  
"I'm sure you do. Just be kind and go out in the woods so Esme doesn't have to listen to your 'catching up'..."

She narrowed her eyes dangerously. _I bet you wouldn't like it if I told Jazz you said that. You might end up in a two on one fight when Em comes back._

I chuckled all the way back to Bella's house.

She was waiting for me in her bedroom, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I encircled her in my arms.

"Welcome back," she murmured into my shoulder.

"It's good to be here," I breathed. But I felt as though something was off. She was trembling, and clutching me a little too hard (for her)—as if she was afraid I might disappear again...

I pulled gently back to study her expression. Tears were starting to form in her eyes. I brushed at her cheeks in alarm. "Bella?"

She gave me a faltering smile, shaking her head as more tears leaked out. "Don't mind me. Just...give me a minute."

She buried her face in my chest, and I held her to me, gently shushing her as I let her quiet sobs play out. I drew her over to the rocking chair and pulled her into my lap, murmuring words of reassurance as I rocked her. I didn't have to ask what it was that had upset her.

This was just one of the prices for my actions. So much had happened, it was hard to believe it had only been two days since our return, and only three and a half since we'd been reunited. _So much to take in, in such a short space of time._ Even though she had accepted, at last, that I loved her and was here to stay, I understood that a part of her would continue to doubt for some time to come. The wounds I had inflicted would be slow to heal, and I cursed myself over and over for the way I had hurt her. My own pain ripped and tore at me with each sob that left her throat; I squeezed my eyes shut and rested my cheek against the top of her head.

After a little while her gentle sobs quieted, and she rested silently against me as I continued to rock her.

"Sorry about that," she murmured after another few minutes.

"Please don't apologize. I'm the one who should be asking for forgiveness," I said softly.

She shook her head. "There's nothing to forgive, Edward." She took a deep breath. "It's just...a lot to take in. I guess my body just sort of rebelled, there."

"I understand. It takes time." I leaned in to brush my lips across her cheek. "Fortunately for us, time is something we have."

"Yes..." She snuggled into me, a blissful smile on her lips.

From that point on it was one of the most peaceful afternoons we'd ever spent.

The days rolled lazily by, and I was rarely away from Bella for more than a few minutes at a time—in part because of my continued edginess about Victoria, but mostly because I couldn't stand to be away from my love for any longer. She didn't seem to mind my company.

It was only a few days before she finally managed to persuade Charlie to let me in (officially) for a few hours each day, though it was plain that he only consented because he was afraid that she would move out if he refused. He might have been right about that. He treated me with about as much respect as I deserved...in other words, very little at all. I bore his hostility gladly, just grateful he was using cold words and stony silences rather than fists to make his point (I didn't want him to hurt himself, after all).

In my spare moments, I busied myself with hunting up college applications for Bella to fill in, eager to give her as many options as possible. She always gave me a dirty look whenever I brought a new set of forms—I knew she hated the tedium of filling them out, but I suspected her objections went further than that. The subject came up one night as we lay nestled together in bed.

"You aren't going to bring me any more of those stinking applications, are you?" she asked. I had to smile at the way her nose wrinkled as she spoke, as if the offending documents actually had smelled bad. "There can't be that many places left that would take me."

"You give yourself too little credit," I murmured, brushing the tip of her nose with my finger.

"And you give me too much. Honestly, I'll probably end up at Peninsula Community College or something..."

"And though I very much doubt that will be the case, I wouldn't mind going there with you. I've already done the Harvard route, after all."

"Of course you have," she said, rolling her eyes. "But I would feel better about it if there were no bribes involved, whoever accepts me."

"Who said anything about bribes?" I asked innocently. "I'm just bringing you the applications. It was my fault you procrastinated so long, so I feel some responsibility for helping you set it right."

She rolled her eyes again. "You try to take the blame for everything."

"I give credit where credit is due."

"And it's not like I'll be going to college anyway." Her voice dipped even lower as she spoke, and a jolt of pain shot through me.

"Don't say that," I whispered. "It never hurts to keep your options open. You might decide to marry me after all." I could not help but chuckle at her grimace.

"Well," she sighed, "I suppose it's good to go through the motions. For Charlie's sake."

I stroked her face. "For your own sake too, Bella."

"Right."

My anxiety about the choice she was making continued to loom in the back of my mind, though it was often chased away just by the sheer delight of her presence.

I drove her to school and work most days, now that Charlie had grudgingly decided to allow it. On the second Saturday after our return I dropped her off at the Newtons' store.

"Have a good time at work today," I murmured, kissing her goodbye.

"Mmm...I'm sure I'll get to chat with lots of rugged hikers. Between ogling them and flirting with Mike, the time will just fly by..."

I growled.

"Sorry," she chuckled. "You're just too easy to tease sometimes."

"Speak for yourself." I kissed her again.

She frowned as I pulled away, looking suddenly worried. "Maybe I should be trying to talk them _out_ of hiking around here, though. If Victoria comes back..."

"She's not coming back anytime soon," I repeated, both for her and for myself. "Alice double and triple checked this morning, and there's still no sign." Though I didn't say as much to Bella for fear of alarming her, I suspected Victoria would be far more careful when she did make a reappearance—she wanted to take us by surprise, and further disappearances in the area would only alert us to her presence.

I drove back home, intending to spend a couple of hours with my family while Bella was at work. I was a little surprised to find them all waiting for me on the front porch, doing their best to hide their thoughts from me.

"What is it?" I demanded as I leaped out of the car, barely registering that for the first time in over a week they were _all_ there. "Has something happened? Is Victoria—" I looked frantically at Alice, who rolled her eyes.

_Relax Edward, it's nothing like that._

Then my eyes focused on the hulking figure beside her.

"Oh."

Emmett raised his eyebrows, an evil glint in his eye. "I think you owe me something, my brother."

I raised my eyebrows. "Do I?" My voice was cold. I hadn't forgotten his grievance about the television. I also hadn't forgotten _my_ grievance—the reason said television was broken.

Really, it didn't make sense for me to be angry at Emmett—at least, not any more angry than I was at the rest of them. After all, everyone but Rosalie had voted the same way he had...so why was I glaring at him, my teeth slightly bared, my hands balled into tight fists at my side? Maybe it was because he'd so conveniently set himself up as a target, whining about a broken television when a girl's life was at stake...

"Edward," Esme murmured, seeing the indignation in my eyes.

"Temper, temper," Emmett purred. _You really shouldn't let it control you like that. They have this thing called 'anger management therapy' you know...you might want to give it a try.  
_  
A low hiss escaped through my teeth as I glared at him.

"Emmett, stop goading him," Carlisle murmured, leveling a stern look at his youngest (and largest) son.

"Well, I'd say there's one way to settle this," Emmett said, flexing his biceps.

"No arm-wrestling," I said, seeing his thoughts. "You know you always win."

He laughed. _Maybe that's why it sounded like such a good idea to me. But no, a good old-fashioned brawl suits me just fine._

"Both of you promise me to keep your heads," Esme said sternly. "I don't want any permanent damage."

"What, no scars even?" Emmett scoffed. "Where's the fun in that?"

Esme growled.

"You didn't tell me we would have an audience," I said to Alice.

She shrugged. "I didn't see that until this morning."

"What's the matter, little brother?" Emmett taunted, "Too chicken to fight me in front of everyone?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Name the time and the place."

"Right here, right now."

_"Not on my porch!"_ Esme growled.

"How about the yard," I suggested, gesturing to the wide expanse of fern-covered ground beneath the ancient cedars.

"Fine. Let's do it." He started down the steps, but stopped when Esme caught his arm.

"If either of you so much as _grazes_ one of my cedars," she said coldly, "I promise I will make you regret it for the rest of your existence."

"No prob, Mom," Emmett said, grinning. "The only one who's gonna get any grief is lover-boy here." _Or should I say, 'would-be-a-lover-if-only-he-could-be-a-lover-boy'?"_

I snarled.

Emmett grinned.

Carlisle and Esme sighed.

I knew Emmett wasn't really angry at me—well, not _too_ angry, anyway. In truth, he viewed the destruction of the flat-screen as more of an inconvenience than a real problem—after all, they already had another one on order from Korea, and it would be here soon enough.

But if I'd learned one thing about Emmett in all the years I'd known him, it was that he relished any excuse for a good brawl. Especially if he could use the opportunity to grind my face into the dirt in front of witnesses.

"Let's see," he said as we walked slowly out into the middle of the yard. "If I win, you're going to pay for the new TV. And you know, I think I'd like one for my room as well...and a new stereo would be nice..."

"And if _I_ win," I said, quietly enough that the others couldn't hear, "you're going to keep your opinions about my love life to yourself."

_Ooh. Hit a nerve, did I? Just wait until she's one of us and you two can finally go at it for real—it's only gonna get worse...  
_  
I snarled again.

Emmett laughed. _C'mon though, talk about an uneven bet! I ask you for something you could buy a gazillion times over, and you ask me to stop having fun? Give me a break!_

He did have a point; money was sort of meaningless in a family as wealthy as ours. I was probably lucky he hadn't decided to ask for some sort of ridiculous dare instead—something like running naked down the highway on a sunny day. At rush hour. "How about just for the next month, then," I sighed.

He pondered that a moment. "Tempting..."

I rolled my eyes. "Let's just fight."

He grinned. _Deal._ And with that, he launched himself at me.

But I was faster.

In truth (and despite what my brothers thought), I tried to use my mind-reading ability as little as possible during such bouts. For one thing, my sense of sportsmanship was better satisfied when I could win without it, and for another, I felt as though I was honing myself better for a day when the fight might be more real, and when every advantage would be necessary. Opponents could lie with their minds if they knew they had to, and some of the potential foes which clouded my future—Victoria, for one...Demetri, for another—were all too aware of my ability.

And there was always the possibility that I might one day face an opponent whose mind was completely closed to me, like Bella's. I didn't know if her mind was unique in that way; I had certainly never encountered such a one before in my ninety years as a vampire. But it couldn't hurt to be prepared, nonetheless.

So I tried to rely on my other senses as I dodged and leapt, feinted and dove, always managing to escape Emmett's clutches by the barest of margins. It helped that I was the fastest, and that of the two of us, I had taken far more away from Jasper's lessons in fighting strategy over the years. Emmett's style of attack was sort of like a charging bear, and he relied far too much on his brute strength.

But just because I was trying to ignore his thoughts didn't mean they didn't occasionally break through.

_I can't _wait_ til she's one of us. Then I'll get to tease _her_ about it too!_

That did it. With an enraged snarl I launched myself at him, and moments later I was pinned to the ground. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ I couldn't believe I'd let him get to me...

"Are you through, little brother?" he taunted in my ear. "Maybe we should have waited until Bella could watch this. Or are you afraid she wouldn't like what she'd see...and _hear_?"

With another snarl I had twisted out of his stunned grasp and launched him across the clearing. He hit the ground with a thud like a falling boulder and skidded a good fifty feet—the air was full of the scent of crushed ferns. In another moment he was back on his feet, and we were back to our sparring.

And so it went on for quite some time; our family was content to watch from the porch, though I knew both Carlisle and Esme winced every time one of us struck a blow. They'd never understood the enjoyment my brothers and I got out of such matches, and I had the sense they were only still watching in case things got out of hand.

It ended in something of a draw, as it often did. We bumped fists on our way back to the house, our argument over.

"You're still paying for the new TV."

"Sure," I chuckled, "I was going to anyway. I am the one who broke it after all."

_And I guess I can keep my thoughts to myself about you know what. For a few weeks, at least._

"Thank you."

_It was good brawling with you again, little brother. It's been too long. Promise me you'll never run off again._

"Do I look like I'm going anywhere?"

Emmett chuckled. "So who won?" he called out to Jasper, who was lounging against a pilaster on the porch.

"Neither of you," he drawled, smirking. "I could've taken either one of you in thirty seconds flat."

Emmett raised his eyebrows. "Well we'll have to see about that, won't we?"

Alice, Esme, and Rosalie exchanged a weary glance. "_Boys_..." all three muttered in unison.

"Leave me out of it," Carlisle sighed, rolling his eyes. Emmett, Jasper, and I laughed.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you all enjoyed that little diversion. The next chapter will be the last, as we venture back into the established story of the epilogue. I'll try to have it out within a day or two this time, since my goal was to get this entire story out before Eclipse hits the theaters... ;) Still, no promises!**

**As always, please let me know what you thought!  
**


	11. Chapter 11: Penumbra

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight Saga...I had a lot of fun playing with it.  
**

**A/N: And here we go with the final chapter of this story! Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 11: Penumbra**

I spent another hour talking and joking with my family, until it was time to pick Bella up from work.

Alice walked out to the car with me; the rest had stayed inside, still wrapped up in conversation.

"So I guess I won't see much of you 'til Monday," she sighed.

"I might stop by for a few minutes tomorrow."

"On your way off to grab an elk or two," she said, rolling her eyes. _Lovely. Makes us all feel _so_ important._

"Sorry," I said with a grin. But the grin faded as I stared out into the familiar forest which surrounded our home.

_Something on your mind?_ Alice asked silently. _Hmm...stupid question. When _isn't_ something on your mind?_

I sighed. "Alice...what have you seen...about Bella's future?"

_You mean the usual stuff you don't want to hear about?_

"I meant apart from that. Have you seen anything...else?"

She blinked at me, uncomprehending. _Like what?_

I shrugged, looking down. "Never mind. It...doesn't matter."

After a moment, she spoke again, her voice softer. "I did see a flicker of something...but it was very chaotic, very indistinct. But there was a ring involved, so I think I can guess."

I swallowed. "I wasn't sure you'd seen anything...you didn't say."

"I didn't want to...intrude."

A weak smile tugged at my lips. "That's a first." _A flicker of something. Chaotic. Indistinct._ In other words, an unlikely possibility.

She sighed. _Edward, give her time. She may very well change her mind._

"She doesn't _have_ time, Alice," I whispered, my voice pained. "That's the whole point. I wanted to give her time...I wanted to give her the world. And now it's slipping away, all too soon."

She rolled her eyes. _You don't have to be so melodramatic about it. You know, if you just gave it a chance..._

_"No_," I said through my teeth, refusing to meet her gaze.

She sighed. _You are so stubborn._

"I won't stop fighting for her," I said quietly. "For _her_. The way she is now."

"She won't stay that way forever."

"No, she won't," I said, turning to face her. "She'll grow...she'll change. And that's the way it's _supposed_ to be."

"For most people," she agreed. "But maybe that's not how it was meant to be...for her."

I shook my head in pain. "How can I allow my presence in her life to take that life away from her, Alice?"

You_ may see it that way, but she doesn't._

"That's because she doesn't know what she's getting herself into."

_Maybe she doesn't know everything. But she knows enough._ "Edward, you've got to trust her judgment on this," she said quietly. "It's going to happen, one way or another."

"And what happens when she comes to regret her decision?" I asked, equally quietly. "It isn't something that can be undone..."

"And she knows that."

"Yes. But does she know herself? Look at how we've all struggled, Alice. You had it easy, you don't remember any life but this. But for the rest of us..." I trailed off, shaking my head.

_No one said it was going to be easy for her. But staying human wouldn't be any easier, not the way things stand. She wants to be with you, Edward. She's chosen you, just as you've chosen her. If she were the vampire and you were the human, don't you think you would have chosen the same path?_

I didn't answer, just glared into the trees. I didn't like to think of it in this way, because I knew what my answer would be. I couldn't imagine a scenario where I wouldn't sacrifice anything to remain by Bella's side. But I hated to think of her having to make those same sacrifices for me.

"Well, anyway," Alice sighed, "you should go, I suppose, if you're going to be there on time." She touched my arm. _Just give it some thought, Edward...and try to keep an open mind, if you can. You're far too apt to take a negative view of things in general, you know. I know this is hard, but it's all going to work out. You'll see._

Unfortunately, I could already see how it was going to 'work out'; that was the one part of Alice's visions which hadn't wavered since Volterra.

I brooded on her words all the way into town. As always, seeing Bella's face again lifted my mood and made me forget my worries, even if I knew they'd return soon enough. My dead heart sang with joy as she came toward me with a smile stretched across her face, and I caught her up in my arms, relieved to be with her again.

And so it went on for the next few weeks. I spent every possible moment in her company, only leaving for an hour or two each night (when Charlie gleefully kicked me out) before I sneaked back in through her bedroom window. Still, I never strayed far even then; I usually lurked in the woods near their house, listening for any sign of hostiles approaching while trying to give Bella and Charlie some privacy. I longed for the day when I could finish Victoria once and for all, remove that horrible threat from Bella's life so that we could both breathe easier again.

My family was just as eager to see Victoria dealt with. Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and Alice frequently went out on forays into the woods, searching for any hint of her scent. All they found were some old trails which had been all but washed out by the rain, all of which ended either at the Quileute treaty line or at the water's edge. Alice continued to check several times a day for any sign of Victoria's return, but her visions turned up nothing. She even tried to reach out further, to find any sign at all of the evil redhead's whereabouts, but she caught only fleeting visions which were no help. It seemed that Victoria's actions were too chaotic to settle on anything concrete—whether this was by design or simply part of her nature, none of us could be sure. In some ways I was relieved that there was still no sign of her coming back, but I was also frustrated. As long as she was out there, she remained a threat to the one I loved, and I wanted it over and done with as soon as possible.

Of course, there were other threats. Bella didn't mention Jacob Black much, for which I was grateful. But I had the feeling she was only avoiding the subject because she'd seen my reaction to his name (I wasn't very good at hiding it, apparently). I knew, from some stray thoughts I'd picked up from Charlie, that she frequently called Jacob after I had left for the evening, only to hang up in frustration. It seemed he didn't want to talk to her—that at least was comforting. But I hated to see how it hurt her, in unguarded moments when she let her feelings show. She didn't want to hurt me by speaking of it...and it _did_ hurt me just to think about that...

So it took me by surprise when she brought him up again one Saturday afternoon, when I picked her up from work. Several weeks had passed since my return, and we had settled into an easy rhythm in our routine. But her agitation was obvious as she stomped from the store to the car, where I was already holding her door open for her.

"What is it, love?" I asked, frowning in worry as a dozen possibilities flitted through my mind—everything from more disappearing hikers to Mike making another halfhearted pass at her (the boy never did seem to learn).

"It's just plain rude!" she growled as she plunked herself down in the passenger seat. "Downright insulting!" I closed her door and went around to the driver's side; the Mike explanation seemed even more likely than before. I clenched my teeth as I pulled out of the parking lot, headed for Bella's house. I would have to have a little chat with Mike sometime—about minding his manners when speaking to a lady.

"Billy said he didn't _want_ to talk to me," she fumed, glaring out her window. "That he was there, and wouldn't walk three steps to get to the phone!"

Ah. So it wasn't Mike.

"Usually Billy just says he's out or busy or sleeping or something," Bella continued hotly. "I mean, it's not like I didn't know he was lying to me, but at least it was a polite way to handle it. I guess Billy hates me now, too. It's not fair!"

"It's not you, Bella," I said quietly. "Nobody hates you." How could they? Particularly when there was a group of far more hate-able vampires around?

"Feels that way," she muttered. She folded her arms across her chest, her expression sour. I hated to see her like this, taking something upon herself that was actually _my_ fault. Again.

"Jacob knows we're back," I explained, "and I'm sure that he's ascertained that I'm with you. He won't come anywhere near me. The enmity is rooted too deeply." _Enmity both old and new...and both equally powerful..._

Her frown deepened. "That's stupid. He knows you're not...like other vampires."

"There's still good reason to keep a safe distance." I glanced over to see her glaring straight ahead. How could I make her understand? "Bella, we are what we are," I said quietly. "I can control myself, but I doubt he can. He's very young. It would most likely turn into a fight, and I don't know if I could stop before I k—" I broke off before I could say the word, knowing she would think the worst of me for even suggesting it. "Before I hurt him," I amended, hoping she would let it pass. "You would be unhappy. I don't want that to happen."

But of course she wouldn't let it pass.

"Edward Cullen," she whispered, staring at me. She rarely used both my names like that—not unless she was angry, or shocked. Or both. "Were you about to say _'killed_ him'? Were you?"

Bella never had missed much. I had to look away from the intensity of her gaze, staring out into the rain instead. What an impossible situation we were all in! A family of vampires and a pack of werewolves, and Bella stuck in the middle, loving all of us! Yes, she did love the wolves...especially...

I swallowed that thought as the light turned green and I started the car moving again. But I drove very slowly, knowing that continuing this conversation would be impossible once we got back to the house, where Charlie was undoubtedly waiting.

"I would try..." I said, choosing my words very carefully, "very hard...not to do that."

I kept my eyes straight ahead as I came to a stop at the corner, but in my peripheral vision I could see her staring at me, her mouth hanging open. I wanted to give her a more concrete reassurance, but I couldn't lie to her. If it did in fact come to a fight, I would do everything I could to avoid bloodshed, but I knew that might prove difficult—vampire venom was poisonous to the wolves. If it came to a matter of survival, I would do what I had to. But I knew how much it would hurt her if either one of us were to be...

"Well," she said, her voice a little unsteady. She took a deep breath, giving a little shake of her head. "Nothing like that is ever going to happen, so there's no reason to worry about it." I sincerely hoped that she was right. We were nearing the house now, and out of habit I reached out with my mind to check for anything out of the ordinary. What I found made me clutch the wheel harder. _What the...? _My vision turned red as I realized what had happened. _That stupid mutt...hasn't she suffered enough?_

"And you know Charlie's staring at the clock right now," Bella continued, oblivious to my sudden stress. "You'd better get me home before I get in more trouble for being late."

She turned to look up at me, a halfhearted smile on her face, but that smile disappeared when she saw my frozen expression.

"You're already in more trouble, Bella," I whispered, taking in the rage from Charlie as he paced up and down the living room. And there was another presence, in the woods beyond the house. I'd only heard his thoughts on a couple of occasions, but I recognized them at once: Jacob Black.

Bella's hands clutched my arm as she slid closer; she stared fearfully down the street toward her house. "What? What is it?" she asked, her voice shaking a little.

I took a deep breath. "Charlie..."

"My dad?" she screeched. I instantly felt bad for starting that way—of course she'd be worried that he was in danger.

I tried to make my expression calm enough to reassure her as I met her gaze.

"Charlie...is probably _not_ going to kill you," I said carefully, "but he's thinking about it." I started to drive down her street, listening carefully to Charlie's thoughts. I timed things carefully, making sure his back was turned at the moment we passed the house—I was quite grateful that we were in my quiet car today instead of Bella's truck. I parked over by the trees, glad to note that Charlie was as yet unaware of our arrival. But in the woods, Jacob tensed.

"What did I do?" Bella gasped, her face horrorstruck.

In answer to her question, I looked back toward the house, at the shiny, bright red motorcycle which was parked next to Charlie's cruiser. _Her_ motorcycle. I cringed inwardly at the thought of accident-prone Bella getting anywhere near that thing...

She followed my gaze, and I felt her grow very still beside me as she saw what I was looking that.

"No!" she gasped. _"Why_? Why would Jacob do this to me?" She had put it all together without me having to say a word; she understood that Jacob had brought the motorcycle here to get her into trouble. And she understood now why Charlie was so angry with her. She started to shake beside me.

And for a moment—just a moment—I truly hated Jacob Black. His spiteful act had hurt Bella even more than she'd been hurt already, not to mention causing pain and worry to Charlie as well. And all for what? I could see it in his mind. He thought he was getting Bella grounded so she'd see less of me. _Hah_. He obviously didn't realize that she was _already_ grounded, and that it would take a lot more than _that_ to keep us apart.

But as I sat there forcing myself to calm down, I realized that Jacob's motives were not entirely malevolent. He truly did care for Bella...no, that didn't do his feelings justice. He loved her. I clenched my teeth, willing myself to stay calm. I'd known this already—Charlie's and Alice's memories made it obvious. Jacob was trying to protect Bella, just as I was. And just as I felt it was dangerous for her to be around him and the other werewolves, he thought it was dangerous for her to be around me and the rest of my family. Of course there were other emotions at play as well—his jealousy almost rivaled my own.

And I could never forget what I owed him—not if I lived ten thousand years. He had kept Bella safe when I hadn't been there to protect her from Victoria. He had saved her from drowning when she'd jumped off the cliff. He had been there for her when I had not. I would owe him for all eternity.

"Is he still here?" Bella hissed. I noticed that angry tears had sprung from her eyes.

"Yes. He's waiting for us there." I nodded toward the slender path that led off into the woods—the very same path where I had left her, all those months ago. My sharp eyes could just make out where Jacob stood through the layers of trees; he was shifting back and forth impatiently, his thoughts hostile as he stared in our direction. He was thinking about the task that had been set him. Ah. He was here to remind me about the treaty. A very specific point of the treaty, in fact...

So focused was I on Jacob in that moment that it took me by surprise when Bella jumped out of the car and launched herself toward the trees with uncharacteristic speed, her hands balled into fists. Cursing inwardly, I darted after her, hoping none of the neighbors would spot my blurred movement, and caught her around the waist before she made the path.

"Let me go!" she snarled. "I'm going to murder him! _Traitor_!" she shouted toward the trees.

"Charlie will hear you," I murmured in her ear, grateful that the television was on inside and her shout had been covered by a particularly loud commercial. "And once he gets you inside, he may brick over the doorway." I was exaggerating, but only a little.

She shot a panicked glance back at the house, but her eyes narrowed again when they focused on the red motorbike.

"Just give me one round with Jacob," she said quietly but fiercely, "and then I'll deal with Charlie." She struggled, trying to pry my arms away from her as she glowered toward the woods. Despite the tension of the situation, I almost chuckled as I imagined my Bella—looking more than ever like a furious kitten that thinks it's a tiger—hauling off and punching Jacob in the face. But I sobered again as I realized I really did not want to see the result of such an action. What if he lost it and phased with her so close?

"Jacob Black wants to see _me_," I told her. "That's why he's still here." It was halfway true; he didn't exactly _want_ to see me, but talking to me was his main purpose in coming here. And he _did_ want to see Bella...though he'd surely prefer that I wasn't around for their reunion...

Something about what I'd said made Bella go rigid in my arms. Then she went limp, as if in defeat. "Talk?" she asked, somehow packing a paragraph's worth of trepidation into that one word.

"More or less."

"How much more?" she asked, her voice shaking.

I smoothed her hair back from her face, knowing what was worrying her. "Don't worry, he's not here to fight me," I told her quietly. "He's acting as...spokesperson for the pack."

"Oh." She swallowed, turning her head to stare again into the woods.

I shot another glance at the house, where Charlie's patience was nearly at breaking point. I knew he couldn't quite see the place where my car was parked from the living room window, but if he went to look out the door...

I started toward the path, keeping my arm securely around her waist. "We should hurry. Charlie's getting impatient."

Jacob was waiting for us just a short way up the path. I tried not to wrinkle my nose as a stray breeze carried his scent to me. _Ah yes...the sweet bouquet of werewolf; how could I forget?_ His particular scent was quite similar to that of his great-grandfather, Ephraim Black, one of the wolves we'd met the last time we'd lived in Forks. Jacob watched our approach, lounging against a mossy tree trunk; his face was hard and bitter as he looked first at Bella, then at me. His mouth stretched into a humorless sneer.

_So, it's true. I get it. He comes back and I'm nothing. Why am I so surprised? But you can hear me, can't you bloodsucker? Yeah, did you know I knew that? Did she tell you? We had a lot of good, long talks while you were gone. But I guess they didn't mean much, in the end...life sucks that way sometimes...  
_  
My proximity made it difficult for him to maintain control; his trembling hands were clenched into fists at his side. He kept his eyes fixed on me as he shrugged away from the tree and leaned into a slight crouch. _Now do me a favor and get out of my head!_

I came to a stop, my arm still wrapped firmly around Bella's waist. I needed to keep some distance between him and us. It would be easier for him keep a lid on his temper that way, and if he _did_ lose control, the more distance between him and Bella the better. I turned us so that Bella was behind me, putting myself in the line of fire. Still, she leaned around me to glare at Jacob. I saw his expression falter a little.

_I guess I knew she'd be mad. But it's for her own good...and look, she's softening toward me already!  
_  
Though I kept my eyes on him, I could see, through his mind, that Bella's harsh expression had indeed softened a little, the anger draining away from her face. I wasn't sure what to make of that...or whether I liked it or not.

"Bella," Jacob greeted her. He turned his head a little to give her a single nod, but did not take his eyes off me.

"Why?" she whispered, her voice pained. "How could you do this to me, Jacob?"

"It's for the best." The sneer was gone, but his expression had not softened.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" she demanded. "Do you want Charlie to _strangle_ me? Or did you want him to have a heart attack, like Harry? No matter how mad you are at me, how could you do this to _him_?"

Jacob winced, then scowled. He didn't answer aloud, but I heard his thoughts: _C'mon Bella, you know I'd never hurt Charlie—or you! I just wanted to get you grounded, all right? So you couldn't spend all your free time with _him_! Can you blame me for that?  
_  
"He didn't want to hurt anyone—he just wanted to get you grounded, so that you wouldn't be allowed to spend time with me," I murmured to her. I knew this would upset her, but I felt she deserved to know his reasons.

Jacob turned his glower on me again, hatred in his eyes. _I thought I told you to get the hell out of my head, you filthy leech! I'll speak for myself!  
_  
"Aw, Jake!" Bella groaned, oblivious to his silent communication. "I'm _already_ grounded! Why do you think I haven't been down to La Push to kick your butt for avoiding my phone calls?"

This surprised him. _What? Already grounded? I thought _he_ was the one who wouldn't let you..._ "That's why?" he asked aloud, and instantly regretted having spoken. _Shit. Shoulda just stuck to the plan, like Sam and the guys told me. I'm an idiot._ He locked his jaw. _What is it they say? Silence is golden? Yeah, that's sound advice, I guess. Shut up, Jake. _

"He thought _I_ wouldn't let you, not Charlie," I explained for Bella's benefit. What I didn't say was that his assumption wouldn't be so far off the mark, if Charlie decided to lift the grounding...

"Stop that," Jacob snapped, glaring at me again. _I'm warning you, STAY OUT OF MY FRICKIN' HEAD!  
_  
I didn't answer, figuring anything I said would just enrage him further at this point. As it was, I could feel the edges of his control beginning to slip. I tensed a little, ready to whisk Bella away if it got too much for him.

He gave a shudder, his fists trembling at his side. "Bella wasn't exaggerating about your...abilities," he said through his teeth. "So you must already know why I'm here."

"Yes," I said in a soft voice. "But before you begin, I need to say something."

_Sure you do, bloodsucker._ He was trying to calm the spasms which racked his body, threatening to leap out of his control. He clenched and unclenched his fists, breathing unevenly. It didn't exactly help when a shift in the breeze brought my scent to him; I felt him recoil in disgust. _Ugh...sickly sweet, like the worst cologne in the world...how can she _stand_ that? _

I fought to contain the smile which threatened to break through, knowing that it would be the opposite of helpful.

In truth, I was quite impressed by the amount of control Jacob had demonstrated so far, particularly given how recently he had joined the pack—though I was well aware that he could lose the battle at any moment. But I had to say this before we could go any further, because I had not forgotten the debt I owed him.

"Thank you," I said, hoping that my sincerity would show through in my voice. "I will never be able to tell you how grateful I am." There simply weren't words of sufficient depth to explain it properly; no matter what complex enmity there might be between us, this one thing linked us together. "I will owe you for the rest of my...existence."

_What the...?_ Jacob stared at me, unable to comprehend my words. The tremors had stopped—he was so surprised he'd momentarily forgotten his anger. His eyes flickered to Bella, who seemed just as mystified. _What the heck are you talking about, bloodsucker? Grateful for what?  
_  
"For keeping Bella alive," I clarified. He could not doubt the fervency in my voice. "When I...didn't." Admitting this to him was more difficult than I'd thought it would be; the shame and guilt lapped at the edges of my mind, threatening to drown me once more...

"Edward—" Bella started to say, but I held up a hand to silence her. I knew what she was going to say—something about how I didn't need to feel guilty and I should stop beating myself up over it. It would do no good for her to repeat words I would never bring myself to believe...and besides, I was waiting for Jacob's answer...whether he spoke it aloud or not.

_Oh...I get it. Huh. He feels guilty for running away and leaving her in danger. He should. The redhead would never have come for Bella if she hadn't been hanging around with him and the rest of his bloodsucker family in the first place. And then he runs off and I have to pick up the pieces..._ His face hardened again as he glared at me. "I didn't do it for your benefit."

"I know," I said softly. "But that doesn't erase the gratitude I feel. I thought you should know. If there's ever anything in my power to do for you..."

Jacob raised one black brow. _Anything? Simple, leech: go away again and leave her with me. Forever._

I shook my head. "That's not in my power."

"Whose, then?" Jacob growled.

I looked down at Bella, who stared back up at me, worry and confusion in her brown eyes. "Hers. I'm a quick learner, Jacob Black, and I don't make the same mistake twice. I'm here until she orders me away." I was lost for a moment in the depth of her gaze, and I saw understanding reach her eyes as she realized what Jacob had asked of me.

"Never," she whispered, her gaze burrowing into mine. In that everlasting moment, I felt the truth of that word..._never_. Forever linked, never to part again...

_Oh great...I think I'm gonna throw up now. If Newton were here he'd have a good laugh at that. This has got to be more torture than anyone deserves..._ I thought of how I'd feel in his place, and I felt for him. No man should have to watch the woman he loves declare herself for another...

Bella tore her eyes away from mine, a scowl on her face as she looked at Jacob. "Was there something else you needed, Jacob?" she asked, her voice irritated. "You wanted me in trouble—mission accomplished. Charlie might just send me to military school. But that won't keep me away from Edward. There's nothing that can do _that_." I tried not to smile at the conviction in her voice, knowing it would only upset Jacob more. "What more do you want?"

Jacob's eyes bored into me. _Besides wanting the leech to disappear again?_ "I just needed to remind your bloodsucking friends of a few key points in the treaty they agreed to. The treaty that is the only thing stopping me from ripping his throat out right this minute." _And I would, bloodsucker. Trust me, I would.  
_  
"We haven't forgotten," I assured him at the same time that Bella demanded, "What key points?"

Jacob answered her, though he kept his glower fixed upon me. "The treaty is quite specific. If any of them bite a human, the truce is over. _Bite_, not kill," he emphasized to make sure she understood. _You hear that, bloodsucker? So keep your reeking teeth away from her!_ He turned his cold gaze on Bella.

I felt her stiffen as she took in his words. "That's none of your business," she hissed.

His reaction was stronger than even I had expected. He'd thought the warning he'd come to give was just a precaution. He hadn't known that she was really on this path—hadn't realized that it had already been settled with my family the very morning after our return (unless, of course, I managed to talk her out of it).

"The hell it—" was all he managed say out loud. _No! NO! I won't let him, I won't! You're not gonna be one of them! Screw the treaty—so help me, if she wasn't here I'd kill you right now, you bloodsucking bastard! Arghh!_ He cringed, bent nearly double as he pressed his clenched fists hard against his temples. His eyes were closed tight and his face took on an unhealthy color as he fought to regain control of himself. _Have...have to keep control...can't...hurt her!_

"Jake? You okay?" Bella asked anxiously, taking a half-step toward him. I yanked her back behind me.

"Careful! He's not under control," I warned her in a low voice.

But Jacob had already managed to regain most of his control; only his arms continued to shake as he scowled at me, pure hate running through him as he thought of a thousand different ways he'd like to kill me. "Ugh. _I_ would never hurt her."

I couldn't help the low hiss that escaped my lips at his implication. Jacob clenched his fists, his eyes sparking with anticipation. Such was my focus on him that the shout from behind us took me completely by surprise.

"BELLA!" Charlie roared from the house, making all three of us jump. "YOU GET IN THIS HOUSE THIS INSTANT!"

We all froze, listening to the silence that followed. I also listened to Charlie's thoughts, though part of my attention was still focused on Jacob. Charlie was standing on the front doorstep, and though he couldn't see us, he _could_ see my car parked on the curb. His rage was almost as strong as Jacob's, and for once, it was not directed entirely at me. I didn't like to think what might happen if he came looking for us and found the three of us like this...

Bella broke the silence, her voice trembling. "Crap."

Jacob's fury ebbed a little. _Ah hell..._ "I _am_ sorry about that," he muttered. "I had to do what I could—I had to try..."

"Thanks," she said sarcastically, though the tremor in her voice ruined the effect. She stared up the path as though expecting Charlie to make an appearance; I fervently hoped that he would stay at the house. I wanted to get Bella out of there, but there was one last bit of business to deal with first.

"Just one more thing," I told her before turning back to Jacob. "We've found no trace of Victoria on our side of the line—have you?"

_No, not a trace, thanks to that little 'sister' of yours_, he thought bitterly. "The last time was while Bella was...away." _Someday, I'm gonna get the _full_ story of what happened..._ "We let her think she was slipping through—we were tightening the circle, getting ready to ambush her, but then she took off like a bat out of hell. Near as we can tell, she caught your little female's scent and bailed. She hasn't come near our lands since."

I nodded. It made sense that she would take off at the first whiff of Alice's fresh scent. Victoria seemed to have some sort of instinct for evasion—she'd demonstrated it when we'd dealt with her before, and during my fruitless attempts to track her following my departure from Forks. Now that she knew we were back, she would be more cautious than ever—not that I expected for one moment that she would give up.

But I needed the wolves to be clear on this—that she was our problem and we could deal with her ourselves. It wasn't really that I feared they'd get themselves hurt, as a whole pack of werewolves ought to be able to deal with one lone vampire. But the wolves' involvement troubled me, because of the way they negated Alice's visions. Those visions were a critical weapon in our arsenal, both in predicting Victoria's return and in finding a way to ambush her while protecting Bella.

"When she comes back," I said slowly, "she's not your problem anymore. We'll—"

"She killed on our turf," Jacob hissed. "She's ours!" _So stuff it, you filthy—  
_  
"No—" Bella's protest was cut off by another shout from Charlie.

_"BELLA_! I _SEE_ HIS CAR AND I _KNOW_ YOU'RE OUT THERE! IF YOU AREN'T _INSIDE_ THIS HOUSE IN _ONE_ MINUTE...!" In Charlie's head, I saw imaginings of Bella and I making out in the trees somewhere...if only he knew that his daughter was trying to mediate a dispute between a vampire and a werewolf!

"Let's go," I said urgently to Bella, wanting to get her back before Charlie decided to arrest us. But she looked back at Jacob, her face torn.

"Sorry," Jacob whispered so low that I wondered if she could even have heard. "Bye, Bells."

"You promised," she told him, desperation in her voice. "Still friends, right?"

Jacob's eyes were full of pain and bitterness as he shook his head. "You know how hard I've tried to keep that promise, but...I can't see how to keep trying. Not now..." Pain ripped at him as he remembered some of the times he and Bella had spent together. The hard expression he'd worn throughout most of the conversation wavered, then vanished, replaced by something far more vulnerable. "Miss you," he mouthed. He extended an arm toward her, his fingers outstretched. _Oh Bells, if only he hadn't come back... __I would have been your sun, if only his cold shadow hadn't blocked me from your view..._ _  
_  
"Me, too." I realized that she was close to tears—my dead heart cried out in agony at the pain in her voice. I watched, frozen, as she too reached out across the empty space between them. "Jake..." She took a step toward him, and in that moment, I wondered what would happen if they embraced. Would he try to run away with her? Or would she _want_ to run away with him—with the boy who could be so many things to her that I could not? I pulled her back again, wrapping my arms around her in desperation.

_Let her go you vile...  
_  
"It's okay," Bella murmured, looking up into my face with a trusting expression.

I kept my eyes on Jacob, feeling the anger returning to him full force. They were unpredictable, these wolves—it took only a moment for their moods to shift, for the danger to return. Anything could happen. "No, it's not," I told her.

"Let her go," Jacob snarled. "She _wants_ to!" _Don't you _dare_ hold her back against her will, you filthy leech! Just because you can't handle that she might want to be with a real, hot-blooded man instead of a frigid block of ice... _He started forward, and I could feel the anticipation building in him as he began to shudder again. He was allowing himself to lose control—impatient for the fight ahead.

I pushed Bella behind me and wheeled to face Jacob. I had to protect her. I _would_ protect her. I knew I had the advantage over him—he was inexperienced, and I was able to anticipate his moves. I would use every skill I had to subdue him...but as I had promised Bella, I would try very hard not to kill him. It would hurt her to the core, if I were to do such a thing...

"No!" she was shouting, trying to get around me. "Edward—!"

"ISABELLA _SWAN_!" came Charlie's bellow. He was outside now, stomping across the lawn as he searched for us. I knew it wouldn't take him long to check this trail...

"Come on! Charlie's mad!" Bella urged, her voice panicked. "Hurry!" She tugged on my arm.

I was all too willing to do as she asked. I kept my eyes on Jacob and my arm around her as we slowly backed toward the house.

Jacob continued to glower at us, but the will to fight was fading as he slowly regained control over himself. Then I felt the pain wash over him, and it struck me to the core. He was watching the girl he loved leave with another man—a man who, as far as he was concerned, was an evil monster with no regard for her human life...a shadow which had fallen over her, blocking out the life-giving sun. And I hated that a part of me agreed with that assessment.

No! It was different now. I was no longer the same kind of danger to her that he could be. And I _would_ continue to _try_ to talk her out of her quest for immortality, even if I suspected my efforts were in vain. I _would_ do everything in my power to make her happy, for as long as I was able—for the rest of her life...or forever, if the fates willed it. My family and I would hunt down and destroy Victoria, removing that threat from over her head. And I would protect her from the Volturi...and anything else which dared to threaten my Bella, my love, the meaning for my existence...

I held her close against my side as we walked toward the house. We broke through the last of the trees to see Charlie standing in the middle of the yard, his face purple, his thoughts absolutely livid. Bella cringed against me.

I gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze, whispering in her ear. "I'm here." _Forever._

She drew in a deep breath and squared her shoulders, seeming to take strength from my words. Together, we walked forward to face Charlie's rage.

. . . . .

_Addendum_

My fingers traced idle patterns along her upper arm; I relished the feel of the bare skin beneath my fingertips. She shivered a little, though I could tell it was not a reaction the cold temperature of my skin. She smiled as she gazed at me, her eyes full of warmth. Everything about her was full of warmth...

It was late, and Charlie was already snoring. Bella was dressed in her usual nightwear of matching tank top and cotton pants, and we were curled up together in her bed. The stress that had gripped us earlier that day had all but melted away, but still, I felt the need to make sure.

"Are you okay?" I murmured, studying her face.

The smile faded a little. "Yeah. I just wish...that things could be different."

"Between us and the werewolves, you mean?"

She nodded, but said nothing further. Her fingers trailed down my neck, and I closed my eyes, a slight smile on my lips as she lingered for a few moments on my collarbone. My breath caught as she went further, her warm fingertips brushing down beneath the neckline of my shirt, pulling downward on the fabric ever so slightly as she caressed the skin beneath...

"Bella..." I breathed, to remind her.

She smiled sheepishly as she pulled her hand back. "Sorry. I didn't..._mean_...anything by it." She giggled a little.

Oh heaven above, how I wished we _could_ be together in _that_ way...

_One day_, a part of myself pointed out. _If she follows through with the change, it _will_ be possible...  
_  
And that was just one more reason to hate myself.

_No, no, no! Of all the selfish... Stop thinking it! You want her to be _human_ Edward, so just _stop_!_

I really was glad, sometimes, that Bella couldn't read _my_ mind. I hated to think of all the dangerous ideas she'd get into her head if she could (she came up with enough of those on her own).

"How about you?" she asked softly.

"Mmm?"

"I mean, are _you_ okay?"

I rolled my eyes. Trust Bella to be worried about _me_ at a time like this. "I'm not the one who's now in double trouble with her father, not to mention the target of a sadistic vampire."

"No, but I know how much you worry about me."

"True," I sighed. "But _please_ don't worry about me, Bella. We'll get through this, I promise."

"Okay," she sighed, snuggling closer to me. I rubbed her back to soothe her, and quietly began to hum her lullaby.

"Edward?"

"Yes, my love?"

She pressed her warm lips to the hollow at the base of my throat, sending shivers of my own down my spine.

"I love you," she murmured against my skin.

"As I love you," I murmured back. I drew her face gently to mine, and we shared a kiss that was full of that love—enough to last us forever.

THE END

* * *

**A/N: Yes, *sniff* that is the end. In some ways I'm relieved, because it was really taking over my life for awhile there! But of course, I'm also sad that it's coming to a close. I've enjoyed spending time in Edward's head, trying to pick apart his complex character and portray it as truly as I know how. Of course, this is merely my interpretation of his thoughts (and in places, events), and doubtless many had different ideas. I can only say that this was my stab at it, for better or for worse.**

**I have several more story ideas in mind, but I have no plans to continue my EPOV into Eclipse at the present time. Though that was in many ways my favorite book, I really need to focus on other things for awhile, and I'm not sure I'm up to the task of following Edward's doubtless tortured thoughts as the story continues. I will probably come up with a few EPOV scenes from Eclipse and perhaps Breaking Dawn as well, but they will be shorter and less time-consuming than this project! To all who have stuck with me from the beginning, thank you for reading, and I hope I brightened your day (or at least gave you something to think about).**

**Please remember to review!**


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